If 9 Stars Had Lived (Long Enough To Embarrass Themselves)
What would you give to have Kurt Cobain back? Or Jim Morrison? For every performer who goes down before their time, it's hard not to imagine a whole library of work that got stolen from us. If only they had lived, damn it!
So let's take a pleasant moment to imagine what might have been for these great performers in an alternate reality where they lived on. Wait, what's this? NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Check out some other candidates whose careers benefited from death far more than their health in 6 Musicians Who Predicted Their Own Death in Song. And if you've got Photoshop skills like Sanchez, win $50 and internet fame by showing us some Great Historical Moments (Ruined By Modern Technology).
I've always thought that dying young while they're still on top makes a legend. It kept Jimi Hendrix from doing a tour of Indian casino clubs in 2005, Kurt Cobain from forming a supergroup with Matchbox Twenty, and Jim Morrison from releasing a poetry album with William Shatner.
ReplyLennon would get off scot-free. It's obviously a justifiable homicide.
ReplyIs it okay that I found number 3 and 6 very offensive, but hilarious?
ReplyJohn Lennon, Jim Morrison
Anyone else get the Leonard Maltin two and a half stars joke? Laserblast!!
ReplyThe picture of Lennon made me sad because that's what he'd look like if he were older :'(
ReplyWell this isn't very respectful
ReplySo this was an early Photoplasty before it got turned into what it is now? These were kinda depressing, actually, cuz you know most of 'em would've really happened.
ReplyI don't think this is Photoplasty. They were all made by Sanchez. And there are earlier photoplasty contests than this one. But yeah, same kinda theme...
The second one is brilliant
ReplyThis was funny... but it did make me very sad...
ReplyI take it Elvis has given up his deep-fried banana sandwiches?
Replynumber 8 was funny..more so for vader than for kurt though..
Replydisagree. grace kelly had a spectacular rack
ReplyI paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by FedEX. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores. I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff, FullBids.com
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesGo away.
no kidding...
I paid $4 for you mom and I feel like I got ripped off.
good article i guess,but it would've been better if they did one with chuck schuldiner though.
Replyyeah as if anyone gives a flying f**k
Commenters are all over "Yoko had 8754 stab wounds to face" because murder is so funny...like with Phil Hartman and his wife; I notice all the other pics make fun of the stars themselves.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesMurder is funny, when the context is clear and universally agreed upon.. not to mention not real. Come back when your period is over.
It's only funny when you're talking about Yoko Ono.
Zzzzing......lol
one the one hand i hate yoko ono..... but on the other i hate john lennon, so i wouldn't want to trade in the deal we got when he got killed. hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. that's a conundrum.
Is the Nick Drake one also a jab at Daniel Johnston? Either way I nearly jizzed myself when I saw that, gg Sanchez
ReplyAm I the only one that wishes that #7 [Lennon] was real?
ReplyThis article got me into Nick Drake. Thank you, Cracked.
ReplyThe Tupac one seems to be making fun of the kiddie stuff the still-alive Ice Cube has actually been doing.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesNo. s**t.
wow it's almost as if this website makes fun of stuff , but i'm probably just imagining it
This isn't a news site? I took all of these very seriously...
I think that some die with their diginty intact... RIP Kurt Cobain; Tupac; Jim Morrison
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesBlowing the back of your skull off, getting killed in a gang retaliation, and OD'ing aren't really what I'd consider dignified deaths.
Dude, just drop it, he posted that last year.
the deaths weren't really dignified, but their lives were
The emo king, the drug fiend and the gangster.. which one is the dignified one again?
Lassie - seriously?
How can any of us claim to know whether they died or lived with dignity? Seriously. Do you know how presumptuous that is? Based on a few songs and a myriad of pop trivia facts?
syn and jazzcat are ignorant assholes