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10 Popular Porn Scenarios That Seem Highly Implausible

#5.
BusStopWhores.com

You know where most dudes never think to hunt for hot, sex-hungry girls? The bus stop.

But as this site demonstrates, the women who were about to pay a couple of bucks for bus fare are more than willing to pay for the same ride in your van with some on-camera boning. You know, we've ridden the bus before and we think we'd actually take that deal, too.


Probably less homeless men in the sex bus.

The only part we can't figure out is that they don't do the boning en-route, they instead drive the women back to their studio for some sex with a tattooed dude who looks fresh from prison. This clearly is delaying their trip much longer than if they'd just waited for the bus. This seems grossly illogical but, again, if it means avoiding having to ride the bus...

Most Shameful Moment:

One episode, about a girl named Starla who would be late for an interview if she had waited for the bus, features the line "She wanted the job bad so we wanted to see just how bad she really wanted that job!"

#4.
Taxicams.com

If you've ever been to Las Vegas then you probably, at some point, engaged in unprovoked, spontaneous, unsanitary taxi sex. You can try to deny it now, but be aware there's video evidence.


Above: You.

Taxicams is the site that dares to expose what clearly everyone does in Vegas cabs by outfitting a cab with hidden cameras and just waiting for all the sexy ladies who apparently get turned on by the smell of cured meat and pine air fresheners to hop in and get undressed and use themselves and/or their friends like amusement parks.

The site insists that it's all real and that the driver's job could be in danger if he's ever caught. All of this is written next to photos of the cab clearly identifying it, which makes us concerned for his employment status. Also, the women's faces are not blurred, so congratulations to the driver getting them to sign a release saying their spontaneous sex can be sold on the Internet so that strangers may pleasure themselves to it.

Most Shameful Moment:

The cab actually says "TaxiCams" on the side. "What, that? Oh, uh, that stands for 'Camaro.'"

#3.
XXXProposal

Porn is arguably always better when inspired by terrible movies and that's why the Beaverly Hillbillies was so popular. Thus we have XXX Proposal, a porno spinoff of the movie, Indecent Proposal. Here, average, down on their luck couples are approached by a random dude on the street and offered cash. All they have to do is let her bang the dude... while her boyfriend watches.

Who could say no to that?

How the financial situation of the couple is established is never addressed that we could see, maybe there's a pre-approval process. Then again, neither is any explanation forthcoming as to why several women have the same boyfriend, just in various preposterous disguises across different episodes.

Most Shameful Moment:

The dejected look on the face of a Jimmy Kimmel-in-disguise looking boyfriend while his girlfriend gets railroaded six inches away from him on the sofa.

#2.
EuroBrideTryouts.com

Combining the creepiness of mail order brides with the "test drive" process one uses to buy a used car, we have Euro Bride Tryouts. Apparently there's a market for women desperate to escape whatever poverty or war they face in their own Third-World countries, as mail order brides meet their potential spouses and immediately ride them like show ponies before coming to America.


"Quick, honey, I need you to iron this frying pan and then fuck me."

No statistics on the site mention how many of these unions resulted in a long lasting marriage, but since it's the same dude every time, it's possible that the number remains low.

On the other hand, kudos to him for being so worldly and wealthy that he can travel to Europe on such a regular basis.

Most Shameful Moment:

This is the All-American groom these ladies are hoping to impress:

As you can see, the guy is totally and completely as American as apple pie. And the extremely thick Euro accent he puts on in the videos is clearly only to make the girls feel more at home.

#1.
NaughtyTherapy.com

This site readily acknowledges what we've all known for ages: nothing is as sexy as a mental disorder. Thus, the concept of women with moderate to severe emotional or psychological trauma taking the ramrod from mental health professionals is one that society has been begging for and now can finally enjoy. Thanks, Internet!

Episodes demonstrate non-APA approved treatment methods for delusions, depression, split personality disorder, chronic bitching and cock withdrawal. Curiously, the prescription for each is wang.


"Could you go ahead and masturbate for me? It's cool, I'm a doctor."

It's likely even Dr. Phil would be hard pressed to acknowledge that deep-dicking can or even should be used to cure such a wide range of ailments. The women do seem to show short-term improvement, sure, but we think it's a huge oversight that they don't follow up with the patients to see how they are progressing a few months after their, quote, "hot beef" treatment. This method clearly needs further study.

Most Shameful Moment:

Psychotic is misspelled on the first page.




For pictures of hot, nude Fortey check out scenicanemia.com.

Check out why we ran this article, in 6 Ways That Porn Runs The World. And check out more baffling porn concepts, in The 6 Most Inappropriate Porn-Character Occupations.

And visit Cracked.com's Top Picks to help us fund our reality porn project, in which we send DOB around in a book mobile.

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