Who among us hasn't dreamed of having a sprawling control center, with huge mechanical vault doors and secret passage ways? If any of us become billionaires, the first thing we're going to do is build a Batcave.
Well, some guys out there had the money, desire and imagination to live that dream.
#6. If Bond Villains Grew Weed...
So you're the kind of guy who wants a sprawling, secure underground lair. But you still enjoy the simple things in life, like fine marijuana and quiet time with the neighbors. So how about this secret underground cavern, built right under a quiet town in Tennessee?
Some enterprising drug dealers apparently got tired of having to drive to some secret location to tend to their plants, so they built a massive underground complex large enough to house a full pot farm. And the neighbors, who apparently didn't want to pry, never noticed.
If you look closely there is also a little chain lock at the top.
The weed lair was built right underneath a normal-looking house with a hydraulic door in the garage that led to a concrete ramp 50-yards long. Inside the lair there was enough room for about 1,000 marijuana plants and the whole thing was climate controlled so the weed could grow in comfort.
There were even living quarters--or a prison, depending on how you look at it--inside the cave to "house" the migrant workers they would bring in to tend to the plants. If you are like us you probably wonder about the logic of hiring temp workers to staff your drug empire in your super secret cave; but we've never made $6-8 million dollars a year doing anything so what the fuck do we know?
The cave even had an escape tunnel that led up to an exit covered by a fake hydraulic rock which we find both awesome and supremely ridiculous at the same time.
While we like the idea of an escape hatch we question how much villain street cred you can really retain after crawling out from underneath a fake rock Hogan's Heroes style.
Cops eventually busted the pot growers and the cave was sold to a "cheese maker." The sale included the land, the remains of the house, the cave and, amazingly enough, most of the pot growing equipment. We expect that there is going to be some truly bitching "cheese" coming out of Tennessee real soon.
#5. Sweden's High Tech Data Fortress
Sweden, apparently a haven for both supervillains and delicious meatballs, is home to this supposed "ISP Data Center" that is built in an old nuclear bunker with 16-inch-thick doors, and refurbished with a total supervillain makeover, complete with triple redundancy cables and fiber optic network and a soothing greenhouse and waterfalls.
Worried that your power is going to be cut right in the middle of executing your world takeover? You can rest easy because the site also comes with two German submarine engines that provide back up power.
Our history isn't great but we're pretty sure this isn't the first time German submarine engines were used to try and take over the world.
The designers also installed the warning alarms from the submarines, but claim that was "just for fun" and not at all to give them enough time to launch a counterattack.
If you needed any more evidence as to why they built this place, look no further than the CEO of this company who freely admits that he wanted to get the same outfit as the villain Blofeld from James Bond, complete with the white cat.
Now, we know what you're thinking. "Sure, that's cool and all, but how can I, a supervillain, build my own? It's not like people are selling abandoned nuclear missile silos out there."
Well, you're in luck...
#4. The Abandoned Nuclear Missile Silo Home
As many of you know, people get suspicious when you apply for a permit to build something called "Underground Armored Missile Silo" in the neighborhood, as those things tend to seriously drive down property values. The good news is that the U.S. government has a few of these things sitting empty because those damn hippies finally convinced Russia and the U.S. that one million missiles could end the world just as well as two million.
Among the prime property for sale is this Titan 1 missile site in Denver if you want a fixer-upper...
... and this one in upstate New York, if you want one ready to move into.
In case you have some henchmen along for the ride, no worries, because the silos boast more than 40,000 square feet of underground floor space for them. Although the site doesn't specify what you'll be using all that space for, we suspect you could have some great dodgeball games after you deliver your ultimatum to the world leaders and wait for money to start rolling in.
Of course, you can't expect the authorities to just stay out while you start building your WMDs. Fortunately, the underground bunkers were built to give you the best chance of surviving any attacks, including 14-foot-thick walls and 150-ton steel doors over the silos. Plus there is a chain link fence which you can totally lock.
The video below gives you a tour of a yet another such site for sale in Washington, so feel free to comparison shop before you buy.