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Yogurt Pepsi: 14 Horrifying Soft Drinks Around the World

#7.
Fungus Tea

Also Known As:

Kombucha.

The history of the Kombucha reaches as far as the Chinese Qin dynasty (that's 250 BC, folks). The Chinese even called it "The Immortal Health Elixir."

And what is "it"? Why, tea fermented with microorganisms called a "kombucha colony." Which is a fancy way of saying there's a big, slimy wad of fungus in your tea. The Fungus Brew can be bought off the shelf but it's also often home made (intentionally in China, and by accident at the bottom of gym lockers everywhere else).

#6.
Curry Lemonade

Also Known As:

Curry Ramune.

OK, no more from Japan after this.

We have to tell you, what really sells this carbonated curry drink from Japan is the freaking label. The text next to the name says: "A miraculous collaboration of curry and lemonade" and above that, the drink proudly exclaims "Even Indian people will be surprised."

Indian people may be surprised, but it will probably have more to do with the little racist picture of an Indian stereotype with the turban and the thick mustache.

#5.
Egg Soda

Also Known As:

Soda sua hot ga.

Help us pinpoint when exactly the recipe for this drink goes from interesting to bizarre: You take some sweetened condensed milk and a raw egg, you combine the yolk with the milk... and then you add club soda, mix well, drink and don't tell anyone about it. Congrats, you just made your first egg soda, a drink popular with Vietnamese people of questionable sanity.

If you think about it, it's kind of like they took the traditional (and disgusting in its own right) Egg Cream New Yorkers enjoy and, when trying to recreate the recipe, forgot that there wasn't supposed to be an actual raw goddamned egg in there.

#4.
Hentai Tentacle Rape Soda

Also Known As:

Tentacle Grape.

Yes, we realize the makers of Tentacle Grape soda are in fact fucking with us. This is not produced in Japan but in California, and yes, the product does appear to actually exist.

If you're new to the Internet, the name is a pun based on "Tentacle Rape," the staple of Japanese anime porn where they have tentacled monsters doing the raping since censors won't allow them to portray a penis on screen. So the fact that their wacky joke-soda relies on violent rape fantasies for their pun earns them a spot on the list and more free publicity.

#3.
Eel Soda

Also Known As:

Unagi Nobori.

The "Surging Eel" fizzy pop is a carbonated yellow liquid containing extracts of eel head and bones, which can be bought in- oh... OK, we did have one more Japanese entry on here.

It's produced by the Japanese Tobacco Company, as a beverage "mainly for men who are exhausted by the summer's heat." Not one part of this sentence made any sense. Why men? Why only if they're exhaustion is caused by summer heat? We do realize that the eel is a delicacy in Japan, but bottling and selling it as a soft drink just makes us think of that old Saturday Night Live episode where Dan Aykroyd ground up a bass in a blender.

#2.
Thanksgiving Dinner Soda

Also Known As:

Jones Limited Edition Soda.

The good ol' USA earned another spot on this list when, in 2003, quirky beverage makers Jones Soda released a Turkey & Gravy flavor for the holiday season. It sold out in two hours, with each bottle sold to a college kid who wanted to show it to people and say, "Can you believe this shit?!"

In 2004, they extended their offer to an entire Holiday Pack: Turkey&Gravy, Green Bean Casserole, Cranberry and Mashed Potatoes with Butter. All soda. All horrifying. It sold out in less than an hour.

Over the years the company has also produced such soda flavors as: Wild Herb Stuffing, Pumpkin Pie, Brussels sprout, Sweet Potato, Dinner Roll, Pea and Salmon, in an attempt to cash in on a market segment fueled entirely by irony.

We like irony, but not as much as we hate not knowing whether to put our soda in the fridge or the oven.

#1.
Placenta Drink

Also Known As:

Placenta 400000.

There was apparently a time in one man's life when he looked at a bunch of pig placenta and said "You know what? I bet people would pay good money to drink this shit." It was probably just minutes before he took to the dark streets to start making his suit of human skin.

The inventor of the Placenta Drink kept the serial killer profilers off his scent long enough to bring this new Japanese (damn it) health drink to market. Available as peach flavored "Placenta 100000" Jelly Drink (with over 10,000 mg of the secret ingredient), or the... naturally tasting extract, Placenta 400000, the drink claims various beauty benefits thanks to the magical powers of pig placenta. The 400000 in the name, we assume, represents the number of hours you will spend huddled over a toilet, trying to forget you ever drank this shit. Which will no doubt contribute to a slim new physique!

Why does Japan have so many bizarre drinks? Check out Bukkake of the Gods: Japan's Insane Creation Myths and that might give some insight into the country. Or find out about some places where you establishments where you could order these delectable treats, in The 8 Most Terrifying Restaurants from Around the World.

And when you've finished cleaning the puke stains from your clothes, feel free to visit Cracked.com's Top Picks to see some good ole fashion boobies (that are probably fake).

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