Yogurt Pepsi: 14 Horrifying Soft Drinks Around the World

We want to respect other cultures and their unique tastes in food and drink. But sometimes, they're simply wrong. There are soft drinks on the market around the globe that are clearly unfit for human consumption and wrong on a deeply moral level.

Think we're over reacting? Then you've never heard of:

Also Known As:

Pepsi White.

If you've ever gotten the urge to stir some yogurt into your Pepsi, well, you're lucky to be alive because we're pretty sure that shit will make your stomach explode. Or maybe just turn into a super-powerful acid that eats you from the inside out (we aren't chemists). At best you'll wind up giving everyone the impression that you've ejaculated into your Pepsi.

So who would think to combine those two things and sell them commercially? Japan. Pepsi White emerged there last October just in time for their line of winter products. Because nothing screams "winter" like yogurt. Because it's white. Also, it's the first Pepsi beverage that might curdle on a hot summer day.

Only in Japan could Ice Cucumber flavor be the second weirdest Pepsi product on the market.

Also Known As:

Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray.

Not just some kooky novelty beverage, Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray is a drink extracted from celery seeds that has been around since the 18-freaking-60s. We'd imagine the ads featured guys cracking open a cold can and rubbing it across their sweaty forehead after leaving the Civil War battlefield.

Since then, Cel-Ray has became a common item in the city of New York, and in Jewish delicatessens here and there, having totally captured the market in celery-flavored soda that, for some strange reason, no other beverage maker has even bothered to enter in a century and a half.

Also Known As:

Coolpis Kimchee Drink.

Whether or not you felt a tinge of nausea at the name of this product depends entirely on whether or not you know what kimchi is.

Kimchi is a traditional Korean side dish composed mainly of fermented spicy cabbage. The Kimchee Drink is the packaged, cloudy juice left from the fermentation process.

Now it's one thing to enjoy kimchi, which is probably an acquired taste but, hey, lots of Koreans love it. But the shit that's left behind in the tank after they've fished the food out? It's like McDonald's trying to sell us cups of used french fry oil. Just throw it away, you greedy bastards.

Also Known As:

Tamla Village's Maneul Saem.

Hey, you know how when you eat just a little bit of garlic your breath smells like it for eight hours afterward? And how you can't get the garlic smell off your hands for a solid week if you handle some?

Well, in South Korea they've got whole bottles of garlic juice you can chug on a hot day. Perfect refreshment when you're on a date with a girl you despise. Also, works as a Molotov cocktail when thrown at a vampire!

Also available in onion.

Also Known As:

Okkikunare.

Oh, hey, Japan's back. And with a brand of breast-enlarging soft drink.

And no, this is not some subtle thing like Enzyte's "male enhancement" nod and wink ad campaign. Okkikunare literally means "become bigger!" The boob enlargement thing is front and center. The ingredient that was supposed to bring forth a new glorious era for Japanese men, and a slightly more back pain for the women, is powdered arrowroot.

Unfortunately, actual scientific studies with a barrel of it and 20 brave female scientists proved that arrowroot does nothing for breast enhancement (clearly if such a substance existed, mankind would have discovered it about, oh, 10,000 years ago).

And while any country could get caught selling a boob-enhancing formula here and there, only Japan would stick a drawing of a toddler on the label.

Also Known As:

Swiss Cannabis Drink.

Switzerland has apparently produced several varieties of this stuff, which manufacturers claim is made from hemp resin but has no THC (the stuff that gets you high). We're assuming that kind of defeats the point for their target customers, especially considering the can above promises you'll "get the magic power" of hemp seeds.

In a bold move to help speed up the awareness of all these products, cans of the stuff turned up in the United Kingdom when a cafe started handing it out to school children at an event. That went over about as well as you'd expect.

Also Known As:

NEEDS Cheese Drink.

And back to Japan.

Produced by the NEEDS cheese factory in Hokkaido, the NEEDS liquid cheese drink comes in three flavors: Berry, Yuzu Citrus and Plain. But don't worry, special steps had been taken to cut down on their natural sweetness, securing you a naturally salty cheese sensation throughout the entire drink. Use it to wash down a nice bowl of cheese soup and a fondue.

The liquid cheese beverage has reportedly been produced to raise awareness of cheese in that country. Instead of showing everyone a delicious melty slice of pizza, they gave them this. The manufacturers note that like most refreshing beverages, the drink "... is also good as a salad dressing."