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30 More Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

Last year around this time, we asked Keith Mays, pioneer in the field of men who look like old lesbians, to run down the 25 best examples of this confounding phenomenon. Since that time, he has continued to update his blog with more, and in some cases better, examples of famous men who look like old gay women.

Take a man. Add eye work (unisex glasses if eye wear is needed) and BOTOX. Mix in a bad haircut or unfashionably long hair--if possible a dye job. A little doughy-ness doesn't hurt, either. Have a weakness for turtlenecks and by all means fight aging like it's a battle you can win if you try just a little harder, and there you have it: The winning formula to become a man who looks like an old lesbian.

#30.
Jay Mariotti

He is:

An obnoxious sports writer turned obnoxious sports commentator.

Looks Like:

Someone who moved to Alaska with life partner because, during the summer, you can play softball until midnight.

#29.
Clarence Clemons

He is:

Guy in the E-Street Band who's not on Conan, wasn't in the Sopranos and isn't the singer.

Looks Like:

Nose tackle on the San Francisco Shockwaves, an LGBT football team, and weekend bouncer at the Lex.

#28.
Gino Vannelli

He is:

Grammy Award winning singer of "I Just Wanna Stop," first Caucasian performer to appear on Soul Train.

Looks Like:

The owner of a pottery store in Vermont who spells "women" with a "y" and hasn't shaved her legs since 1969.

#27.
Johnny Rotten (Lydon)

He is:

Lead singer of The Sex Pistols. The man who saved the world from Styx and Boston.

Looks Like:

An angry professor of LGBT poetry at the continuing education program at University of California Santa Cruz.

#26.
Carrot Top

He is:

The bronze/orange standard in prop comedy.

Looks Like:

The girl who always leaves the bar alone.

#25.
Chief Joseph

He is:

A chief.

Looks Like:

A chief.

#24.
Jack Osbourne

He is:

The son of addled rock singer-slash-reality star-slash-TV pitchman.

Looks Like:

The girl whose family and friends had to pretend they were surprised when she came out over Christmas break freshmen year.

#23.
Brett Dennen

He is:

A home-schooled nouveau hippy who Rolling Stone likes (which is about as cool as your dad showing up at your party sporting a soul patch).

Looks Like:

Your 5th grade teacher and confirmed bachelorette who says she never found the right man, but travels every summer with her "aunt" who is roughly the same age.

#22.
Jason Hervey

He is:

Everybody's nightmarish big brother from The Wonder Years, and friends with the guy who was in Happy Days (not the one who became an Academy Award winning director, the guy who's on some depressing VH-1 show.)

Looks Like:

The camp counselor who could hit a ball further than any of the male counselors and beat the crap out of one of them for leaving the base path to avoid a tag at home.

#21.
Brad Thompson

He is:

A major league baseball player.

Looks Like:

A major league female softball player.

#20.
Chick Corea

He is:

A jazz musician/Scientologist (or maybe it's the other way around).

Looks Like:

An overly-earnest social worker who refers to all her cases as "my kids," and then goes home and has a good cry with her cats.

#19.
Ned Block

He is:

A philosopher (note to you college kids: it's a recession proof industry).

Looks Like:

A middle-aged woman from Wisconsin who left her husband and family to run away with the woman in town who owns a dog grooming salon.

#18.
Rolly Teranishi

He is:

Japanese musician and actor.

Looks Like:

A lesbian super-hero in an anime series.

#17.
Scott Storch

He is:

A hip-hop producer who may or may not be bankrupt.

Looks Like:

A lesbian runaway in a bad indie film.

#16.
Lang Lang

He is:

World famous Chinese pianist.

Looks Like:

The piano player at "Ain't Nobody's Bizness," a popular lesbian hang out in Phoenix.

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