Most movie posters are boring as hell. It's always some Photoshop of the stars, and maybe an explosion thrown in if it's an action movie.
Or at least, that's the way they are in America. Go to Eastern Europe, or Japan, and you'll find posters that have absolutely nothing to do with the film, and everything to do with melting a hole in your brain.
"I've got an idea for a poster. It'll convey that the movie is so awesome, your skin will melt off!"
"Great. So there'll be, like, a skull there?"
"And you have seen a skull before, right?"
"Eh, I can pretty much guess what one looks like."
Star Wars = space cowboy, which is understandable. Why the space cowboy seems to be constructed out of appliance catalogs, however, is not.
Another Star Wars poster for the Russian market, in which Vader is some kind of robotic disco puma. So, the people who went to see the movie based on this poster ... were they disappointed?
Little known fact: The Turkish Director's Cut featured Shelly Duvall and swashbuckling zombies. Seriously, can you fuck up the poster for a Jack Nicholson classic any worse than this?
Yes, yes you can. Poland makes our list for the second time by portraying Chinatown as the fantastic tale of an uptight middle-aged woman tormented by Pedro the mischievous, nostril-stabbing elf.
Ghostbusters (1984): Patrick from Spongebob tries to avoid being prison-raped by Giant Aardvark Man. Rated PG.
We have to hand it to France. If somebody ever enacts some kind of "Truth in Advertising" law for movie posters, this is what the Bad Lieutenant poster would look like. The above image gives you everything you need to know before making your ticket purchasing decision.
So Poland is going to try to dominate this list, isn't it? Just look at that shit. Now here's the thing; they have TV ad campaigns for these movies, right? Don't the Polish people get confused when these ads show a couple of wacky kids in a slapstick farce with their dead boss, while the poster shows whatever the hell that is up there?
Or do they change the ads, too; replacing them with just the above image over the sounds of a heartbeat and a child crying softly in the background?
"The Americans have not allowed anyone in Eastern Europe to see this 'Alien' film, but we must have the poster completed by this afternoon!"
"Well... I have this thing I was making last night, it's an album cover for my band."
Choke slamming a shark and "Mega Sound"? This is how you sell a freaking movie, kids.