Operation Desert Round-Up!

January 17 is, as you all know, the anniversary of the beginning of Operation Desert Storm. We here at Cracked observe this day every single year, and we SWEAR we didn't just type "January 17" into Wikipedia and pick the first important event we saw, just so we had a name for our round-up.

We totally didn't do that.

EVIL FOOD!

The 6 Most Sadistic Dishes from Around the World You know what requires no suffering? Pop Tarts. Delicious, safe, friendly pop tarts.

Notable Comment: Ish says " Man I hate human beings." Did...did a loach learn our language, get internet access and come to Cracked? Is that what happened?

CRAZY OLD PEOPLE!

6 Obnoxious Old People Habits (Explained by Science) Cracked is telling the world now: Please freeze our bodies before we get old and miserable. Unfreeze us when immortality is invented. Also, invent immortality.

Notable Comment:Pops says " I'm 55 and getting more sex than I've ever got before!" We just published an article on disgustingly sadistic meals, but that image grossed us way the hell right out.

EVIL CARTOONS!

5 Classic Cartoons They Don't Want You to See There's also an episode of Scooby Doo where Shaggy calls Freddy "the n word." Unless we're making that up right now.

Notable Comment:Agalryunaer says " I'm going to watch the pokemon video for 2 hours straight, I'll get you back with the results " and then he disappeared from the comments... Cracked hereby absolves itself from any and all responsibility.

CRAZY ANIMALS!

7 Badass Animals Presidents Have Kept As Pets Step up, Obama, and adopt some kind of dragon, or cyborg chimp or whatever.

Notable Comment: MadWhiskeyGrin says " You've got a dinosaur in the picture, but never told us which president kept dinosaurs! Where's the goddamned dinosaur?" We are very sad for you.

HARPTALLICA!

12 Most God Awful Tribute Albums Ever Recorded We can finally answer the question, "What's worse than a Limp Bizkit Album."

Notable Comment: The comments turned into a creative explosion of various instrumental tributes, and we loved it: Jawharpica, Xylophonica, Cowbellica, Tubular Cowbellica, Kazooica, Bagpipesika. Great stuff, gang.

NET_WORK!

Viral Video Stakeout This episode is so strange, you just might do magic.

YOU YOU YOU!

20 Celebrity Lives in Flowchart Form We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, Previously Unnoticed Things in Famous Pictures.

1.15.09:

Where Waldo wants to be
by wamsachel

Editor's pick:

Dollshchwitz
by rcgiff

1.14.09:

For people who don't want to waste time watching or reading ' Angela's Ashes ' , this sums it up pretty well
by Gillespie

Editor's pick:

In case of fire, break a bunch of glass and enjoy a Guiness!
by VP_TheGirl

1.13.09:

He's a maniac, maniac, uhh...huh...And he's dancin like he never danced before...
by Jarhead

Editor's pick:

8 people seems like a large crowd for this.
by Stretch

1.12.09:

...but only one will succeed in impregnating the lightbulb...
by Col.Smashy

Editor's pick:

Global Worming
by DrTom

1.11.09:

Giving the Brokeback mountain franchise to Disney was a bad idea...
by ScHyZ

Editor's pick:

The Ala-mooooo!!
by Ineedweed

1.10.09:

Stupid Iraqis.
Its A Tree... Not A Bush.
by feel_the_force

Editor's pick:

Run Forrest, Run!!!!
by Leaf

1.9.09:

After years of trying to be respectful, the FCC snapped and decided to censor Japan.
by nchammer326

Editor's pick:

i'm sorry. i was looking for 109 poka dot street.
by spydrmunkie