Register
Home > News > Operation Desert Round-Up!

Operation Desert Round-Up!

By CRACKED Readers January 17, 2009 24,180 views
article image

January 17 is, as you all know, the anniversary of the beginning of Operation Desert Storm. We here at Cracked observe this day every single year, and we SWEAR we didn't just type "January 17" into Wikipedia and pick the first important event we saw, just so we had a name for our round-up.

We totally didn't do that.


This week in blogging, Mike Swaim makes you feel uncomfortable with timeless female cartoon icons in unsettlingly graphic poses. Meanwhile, Bucholz gives you the frilly, disturbing truth about Pirates. Even more meanwhile, Brockway wants to get you high. Finally, in a movie that they will almost certainly regret, the Weblog Committee has given DOB an award.



EVIL FOOD!
The 6 Most Sadistic Dishes from Around the World
You know what requires no suffering? Pop Tarts. Delicious, safe, friendly pop tarts.


Notable Comment: Ish says " Man I hate human beings." Did...did a loach learn our language, get internet access and come to Cracked? Is that what happened?



CRAZY OLD PEOPLE!
6 Obnoxious Old People Habits (Explained by Science)
Cracked is telling the world now: Please freeze our bodies before we get old and miserable. Unfreeze us when immortality is invented. Also, invent immortality.


Notable Comment:Pops says " I'm 55 and getting more sex than I've ever got before!" We just published an article on disgustingly sadistic meals, but that image grossed us way the hell right out.



EVIL CARTOONS!
5 Classic Cartoons They Don't Want You to See
There's also an episode of Scooby Doo where Shaggy calls Freddy "the n word." Unless we're making that up right now.


Notable Comment:Agalryunaer says " I'm going to watch the pokemon video for 2 hours straight, I'll get you back with the results " and then he disappeared from the comments... Cracked hereby absolves itself from any and all responsibility.



CRAZY ANIMALS!
7 Badass Animals Presidents Have Kept As Pets
Step up, Obama, and adopt some kind of dragon, or cyborg chimp or whatever.


Notable Comment: MadWhiskeyGrin says " You've got a dinosaur in the picture, but never told us which president kept dinosaurs! Where's the goddamned dinosaur?" We are very sad for you.



HARPTALLICA!
12 Most God Awful Tribute Albums Ever Recorded
We can finally answer the question, "What's worse than a Limp Bizkit Album."


Notable Comment: The comments turned into a creative explosion of various instrumental tributes, and we loved it: Jawharpica, Xylophonica, Cowbellica, Tubular Cowbellica, Kazooica, Bagpipesika. Great stuff, gang.





NET_WORK!
Viral Video Stakeout
This episode is so strange, you just might do magic.


YOU YOU YOU!
20 Celebrity Lives in Flowchart Form
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, Previously Unnoticed Things in Famous Pictures.



Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.

1.15.09:

Where Waldo wants to be
by wamsachel

Editor's pick:

Dollshchwitz
by rcgiff

1.14.09:

For people who don't want to waste time watching or reading ' Angela's Ashes ' , this sums it up pretty well
by Gillespie

Editor's pick:

In case of fire, break a bunch of glass and enjoy a Guiness!
by VP_TheGirl

1.13.09:

He's a maniac, maniac, uhh...huh...And he's dancin like he never danced before...
by Jarhead

Editor's pick:

8 people seems like a large crowd for this.
by Stretch

1.12.09:

...but only one will succeed in impregnating the lightbulb...
by Col.Smashy

Editor's pick:

Global Worming
by DrTom

1.11.09:

Giving the Brokeback mountain franchise to Disney was a bad idea...
by ScHyZ

Editor's pick:

The Ala-mooooo!!
by Ineedweed

1.10.09:

Stupid Iraqis.
Its A Tree... Not A Bush.
by feel_the_force

Editor's pick:

Run Forrest, Run!!!!
by Leaf

1.9.09:

After years of trying to be respectful, the FCC snapped and decided to censor Japan.
by nchammer326

Editor's pick:

i'm sorry. i was looking for 109 poka dot street.
by spydrmunkie



Recommended for Your Pleasure

28 Comments

When a thousand Barbies get together
And Zombiehead enjoys a beer
When the knights in barrows take a shower
And Global Worming makes us fear

The cow in boots shall take the stage
And safe us in this crazy age
Put shoes on hungry woods and trees
Put dirty cities in a cage

1/20/2009 9:01:49 AM
BangoSkank

Notable comment! It makes the weekend in the hospital totally worth it!

1/19/2009 8:00:51 AM
agalryunaer

The top 5 most Ill-Advised roofing sites on the Web ---- Perhaps you've heard of ____TallShingle.COM___ ?

1/19/2009 5:51:16 AM
Derheadhunter

The 5 Most Ill-Advised Santa Claus Sites on the Web ---- Prehaps you've heard of ___TallKringle.COM___?

1/18/2009 10:47:31 PM
Bell110

The 5 Most Ill-Advised Potato Chip Sites on the Web ---- Perhaps you've heard of ____TallPringle.COM___ ?

1/18/2009 6:39:38 PM
onion3000

"did a loach learn our language, get internet access and come to Cracked? Is that what happened?"

If a Cracked writer could figure it out, why not a loach? Zing!

1/18/2009 9:45:50 AM
Ish

The 5 Most Ill-Advised D a ting Sites on the Web ---- Perhaps you've heard of ____TallMingle.COM___ ?

1/18/2009 9:40:19 AM
diaochan

you shall never see any dirty pillows in the round-up. plz stop trying.

1/18/2009 1:16:23 AM
exploding_girl

I do not have boobs

1/17/2009 11:25:23 PM
RocHard021

I have boobs.

1/17/2009 7:02:27 PM
Karen

@Pedgerow: just say "dickjoke" once per article for a week. it worked for me

1/17/2009 2:56:45 PM
AnderX

I'll get a Notable Comment one day. I just have to keep spamming you guys with the first idea to come into my head on each article. It's the monkeys-with-typewriters idea.

1/17/2009 2:46:17 PM
Pedgerow

Why wasn't tits ladys picture featured in this weeks round up? If I had tits like those, I'd never leave the house.

1/17/2009 1:54:46 PM
Leperkhan

Good old Cracked stuff; here are more funny stuffs, videos of ppl not working in their office and messing around! “The Best of Hardly Working” http://www.tv1.com/playlists/126

1/17/2009 12:29:15 PM
sky_slasher

I think 12pack has the right idea. There is something to enjoy about every boob out there.

1/17/2009 11:40:35 AM
scoobybass

Gentleman! Let us not squabble amongst ourselves over the size, or firmness of the breasts, let us just be thankful for all breasts!

Boobs are awesome! (and so is booze)

1/17/2009 11:24:01 AM
12pack

I definitely like a nice round-shaped firm boobs

1/17/2009 10:55:18 AM
wilecoyote

Boobs.

1/17/2009 10:38:16 AM
redx190

"Finally, in a movie that they will almost certainly regret, the Weblog Committee has given DOB an award. "

They didn't make a movie! In fact, there is no mention of a movie anywhere in that article! What's your game, Cracked?!?

Oh, you meant move.

1/17/2009 9:45:26 AM
RileyHart

I would like to take the time to get this comment section back on track:

B(.)(.)BS.

1/17/2009 9:31:15 AM
Tartra

More on News

Cracked stuff on
Recent Videos

Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.