8 Racist Words You Use Every Day

Have you ever worried that, no matter how hard you try, you'll just never be racist enough? Well, you're in luck. As it turns out, you've been unconsciously using racial slurs your entire life! Slurs like...

#8. Hooligan

How it's Used:

"I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of hooligans playing paintball on the interstate."

What You're Actually Saying:

"I was nearly killed on my drive home by a group of dirty Irish drunkards playing paintball on the interstate."

Wait, What?

The earliest use of the word "hooligan" dates back to British newspaper and police reports in the summer of 1898. They seem to have adapted the word from the Houlihan family, a group of Irish immigrants living in London. The family became known for their hilarious drinking songs, jigs and their enthusiastic police brutality that tended to ensue (to a word, "Irish-ness").

But despite the beatdowns, the Houlihans continued to fight for their right to party, and did their motherland proud by forever associating their ethnic surname with stupid teenagers who like to play paintball on the interstate.

#7. Vandal

How it's Used:

"Some vandals tagged the wall behind the local high school."

What You're Actually Saying:

"A horde of dirty godless Germans tagged the wall behind the local high school."

Wait, What?

Those of you who managed to stay awake during Western Civ. class will recall that the Vandals were one of the Germanic tribes that sacked Rome. They weren't any more or less destructive than any of the other tribes that got all up in Rome's shit, but they still have the distinction of lending their name to toilet-paper-hurling dipshits from now to eternity.

But in all fairness, it could have been worse: At least they didn't end up like the Goth tribe, which will forever be associated with shitty LiveJournal poetry.

#6. Hip Hip Hooray!

How it's Used:

"We won the little league game! Hip hip hooray!"

What You're Actually Saying:

"We won the little league game! Let's go kill some Jews!"

Wait, What?

The first half of "hip hip hooray" is adapted from "hep hep," an old German shepherds' herding cry. That is, actual shepherds from Germany. Not the dogs.

Sounds pretty innocuous, right? Well, it was, up until around 1819, when the citizens of Germany and other neighboring countries began using it as their rallying cry while going Hebrew-hunting in the Jewish ghettos. So keep that in mind next time you're trying to come up with an appropriate cheer at your cousin's Bar Mitzvah.

#5. Barbarian

How it's Used:

"In World of WarCraft, I play a level 60 barbarian."

What You're Actually Saying:

"In World of WarCraft, I play a stupid jabbering foreigner."

Wait, What?

Let's revisit that Western Civ. class again. Your teacher probably made a big deal out of the great Ancient Greek advances in politics, philosophy, architecture and so on. But she left out one crucial point: For a society that made such a big deal out of hubris, those motherfuckers could be really arrogant pricks.

Case in point: They thought that Greek wasn't just the best language, it was the only language that made any sense at all. All other languages just sounded like people saying "bar bar bar bar." Thus the word "barbarian," or someone who speaks the retarded monkey language that Greeks associated with every other nation on Earth.

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