Everybody dies. That's no secret. Even you, you're going to die some day. Accept it. Once you accept it, write a bizarrely specific song that details how exactly you're going to die, live up to your prediction and voila! You'll be an entry in a Cracked article, just like these guys.
6Richie Rich feat. Tupac - "Niggas Done Changed"
Let's just get it out of the way: Nobody knows who the hell Richie Rich is. According to the lyrics of this song, he's got a hand full of game. For all we know, that is still true. Maybe even a sack full of game by now. We don't care. The real star of this tune, featured on the Seasoned Veteran album, is Tupac Shakur. His verse on "Niggas Done Changed" is the stuff that conspiracy theories are made of.
This probably isn't the right one.
"I been shot and murdered, can tell you how it happened word for word,
But best believe niggas gon' get what they deserve."
What Happened Next:
Pac was shot and murdered, just like he said. The shooting happened on the strip in Vegas after a Mike Tyson fight. Obviously, at a time like that not many people were around, so nobody saw the shooter and the case remains unsolved. Unsolved for most people anyway. Some others are convinced they know exactly what happened. Tupac faked his own death! The logic went as follows: Since Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli advocated faking one's own death, and Tupac used Makaveli as a stage name, then he must still be alive. That's shaky reasoning, even before you take into account that the real Machiavelli didn't actually say much of anything about faking your own death.
If he was dead, could he do this?
But when "Niggas Done Changed" was released less than two months following Tupac's death, the "Pac's Still Alive" movement was off and running, and it hasn't let up since. Group psychology experts contacted by Cracked attribute the movement's seeming refusal to die (sorry) to the fact that Tupac Shakur has released at least seventy-three studio albums since his death and also to the fact that he's totally alive, y'all.
5Lynyrd Skynyrd - "That Smell"
Have you ever put a curse on somebody? Like if you came home and found that your roommate ate your leftover Chinese food and you got pissed and told them you hoped it gave them explosive diarrhea and then it actually did and you felt really bad because you didn't realize your own powers? Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell" is kind of like that. Except substitute "diarrhea" with "horrible plane crash" (although with a title like "That Smell" it totally could have gone either way).
The song was written to express lead singer Ronnie Van Zant's disappointment with the lifestyle lead and rhythm guitarist Gary Rossington was leading, as his drug and alcohol problems had started to negatively affect the band. After a verse poking fun at a recent alcohol-fueled car accident Rossington had, Van Zant starts pouring on the ominous.
"Say you'll be alright come tomorrow, but tomorrow might not be here for you."
"Angel of darkness upon you."
"The smell of death surrounds you."
What Happened Next:
On October 20, 1977, just three days after the release of the now unfortunately titled Street Survivors, the plane Lynyrd Skynyrd was traveling in crashed in a forest near Gillsburg, Mississippi. The line "the smell of death surrounds you" took on a whole new ugly meaning after Rossington survived but three bandmates, including Van Zant, perished. As if the song and the album title weren't enough, thanks to the plane crash, Street Survivors now had, quite possibly, the most inappropriate album cover ever.
Yes, that's the band and, yes, they are on fire. In the wake of the plane crash, original copies of the album were recalled and replaced with a cover image of the band standing against the completely non-depressing black background. Of course, the fire cover was restored for the deluxe CD reissue of the album in 2008. Like almost every other crime, there is a statute of limitations on bad taste. Apparently, it's 30 years.