#10. Detective Comics: 106
"Hey, Ralph; I have to draw this cover and... are libraries the places with paintings or the places with books?"
"Are you shitting me, Bob?"
"Ha ha! Yes, yes... I am just kidding. Of course I know what a library is. I am not that dumb! What kind of moron doesn't know what a library is, am I right?"
#9. Batman: 134
We think the cover artist is complaining about the writers' ability to write believable human beings. That's okay, the writer gets to defend himself next issue when he writes " Batman and the Strange Case of the Cover Artist Who Was Crushed by a Mountain of Dicks He Tried to Suck and His Mom Was a Big Whore, Too." (part 1 of 4)
#8. Batman: 183
Here's the "tell-tale hint" they promise at the bottom left of the cover: See that bottle? It's not root beer. It's also not the first one of the night.
#7. Batman: 222
Oh, for God's sake... IT'S PAUL!
#6. Detective Comics: 320
Batman: MMMMffff! MhhhmMMff! BBBBrrrMMMMffff!
Robin: Mmmff MMF, BrrrMFFF!
Writers: I guess we didn't totally think this one through.
#5. Detective Comics: 275
A menace to the eyes! And can't he just change his name to Zebra Man? Zebra Batman is just overkill.
#4. Batman: 147
Batman: So awesome criminals shit their pants even when they see a baby version of him.
Also, hope you like the new baby-foot-sized hole in your head, Science Guy.
#3. Batman: 204
"Okay, some asshole thinks Batman won't punch blind people, but I've got news: Batman loves punching blind people! This is so on!"
#2. Batman: 246
"Alfred, tell the orphanage to send another one... a tougher one this time!"
#1. Detective Comics: 126
Say what you will, but we are with Batman; electrocuted fat people are fucking hilarious.
For more comic books created under the influence, check out The 7 Crappiest "Super Heroes" in Comic Book History. Or see just how horrible parents can be on Episode 5 of S.W.A.I.M.: 6 "Adorable" YouTube Videos That Qualify as Child Abuse.
And check out Cracked.com's Top Picks because it's a Hanukkah tradition (trust us).