#10. Detective Comics: 106
"Hey, Ralph; I have to draw this cover and... are libraries the places with paintings or the places with books?"
"Are you shitting me, Bob?"
"Ha ha! Yes, yes... I am just kidding. Of course I know what a library is. I am not that dumb! What kind of moron doesn't know what a library is, am I right?"
#9. Batman: 134
We think the cover artist is complaining about the writers' ability to write believable human beings. That's okay, the writer gets to defend himself next issue when he writes "Batman and the Strange Case of the Cover Artist Who Was Crushed by a Mountain of Dicks He Tried to Suck and His Mom Was a Big Whore, Too." (part 1 of 4)
#8. Batman: 183
Here's the "tell-tale hint" they promise at the bottom left of the cover: See that bottle? It's not root beer. It's also not the first one of the night.
#7. Batman: 222
Oh, for God's sake... IT'S PAUL!
#6. Detective Comics: 320
Batman: MMMMffff! MhhhmMMff! BBBBrrrMMMMffff!
Robin: Mmmff MMF, BrrrMFFF!
Writers: I guess we didn't totally think this one through.
#5. Detective Comics: 275
A menace to the eyes! And can't he just change his name to Zebra Man? Zebra Batman is just overkill.
#4. Batman: 147
Batman: So awesome criminals shit their pants even when they see a baby version of him.
Also, hope you like the new baby-foot-sized hole in your head, Science Guy.
#3. Batman: 204
"Okay, some asshole thinks Batman won't punch blind people, but I've got news: Batman loves punching blind people! This is so on!"
#2. Batman: 246
"Alfred, tell the orphanage to send another one... a tougher one this time!"
#1. Detective Comics: 126
Say what you will, but we are with Batman; electrocuted fat people are fucking hilarious.
For more comic books created under the influence, check out The 7 Crappiest "Super Heroes" in Comic Book History. Or see just how horrible parents can be on Episode 5 of S.W.A.I.M.: 6 "Adorable" YouTube Videos That Qualify as Child Abuse.
And check out Cracked.com's Top Picks because it's a Hanukkah tradition (trust us).