The 7 Dumbest Things Ever Done by Airport Security

#3. Break Your Ankle for National Security

Just Another Day In Line:

Obviously crutches are a big problem for metal detectors, because you can't exactly tell a guy with a broken leg to hop through without them. So the TSA has a perfectly reasonable policy in place for their employees to follow. Unless, of course, that employee is a prick.


Just ask Lona Dunlap. She had a sprained ankle and was on crutches. So what did her friendly local TSA screener do? He took away her crutches and forced her to stand on her sprained ankle, causing two fractures. Lona is looking into her legal options, and the TSA says it's taking such claims "very seriously."

To Make Things Worse...

Then there's this story of a woman who, due to childhood polio, needs braces, crutches and a wheelchair just to get around. She was blocked from flying unless she dropped her pants behind a sheet in a public terminal.

This sounds like they would be required to stand up to do that, which would seem to be impossible for somebody in a wheelchair. But of course that's just what a terrorist would want us to think.

#2. You Can Only Feed Your Kids So Much

Just Another Day In Line:

The TSA, as you might have heard, banned liquids for a while. But what about the children? Well, the TSA of course allows amounts of baby food "reasonable for the duration of the itinerary." "Reasonable" being the key word.

Can you see what's about to go wrong here?


Anand V. Soni and Arati Pratap were traveling with a 10-month-old from Chicago to Manchester, NH. This was in February, and being reasonably bright people, they assumed there might be a few delays flying between two places famous for snow in the middle of winter. So they brought along six jars or so of Gerbers and 20 ounces of formula, which a TSA employee told them was too much. The supervisor on shift agreed. They were told they'd need a doctor's note to bring that much food.

They're both doctors.

And the kid was one, too!

To Make Things Worse...

A traveler named Monica Emmerson saw her toddler's sippy cup get confiscated, because it had water in it. Maybe her son was on the watch list.

Or not, since Monica is a former Secret Service agent.

#1. TSA Stops Dangerous Terroist T-Shirt

Just Another Day In Line:

Raed Jarrar was just looking to get on his flight. The Iraq Project Director for Global Exchange is a pretty busy guy, after all. And, being a political guy and all that, he was wearing a T-shirt, in Arabic and English, saying "We Will Not Be Silent."

These are the situations irony was invented for.


The man was pulled out of line and questioned because the T-shirt had the Arabic on it, which he was told was like wearing a T-shirt saying "I am a bank robber" to the local branch.

They wouldn't let him fly unless he covered the Arabic script with another T-shirt, which they figured would offset the magical plane-destroying powers of the silk screened letters.

To Make Things Worse...

Then there's Dr. Ahmed Farooq, a Canadian national who got booted off an airplane for performing his evening prayers. To the TSA's credit, that was the flight crew that made that call and the TSA agents at the airport realized it was retarded (but didn't realize it in time to get him back on the flight, which took off without him and stranded him in Denver).

"See ya!"

Of course, the airline didn't feel bad enough to actually pay for Farooq's return flight the next day, or the costs of the hotel he stayed in until the next flight. The least they could have done was send him home with a free box of confiscated knives. Or a T-shirt.

For the other side of that stupid coin check out The 7 Most Retarded Criminal Excuses of All Time. Or for examples of weird shit you can buy online other than someone's confiscated pocketknife check out 5 Things You Shouldn’t Be Able to Buy on eBay.

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