We've all heard the old adage: never judge a book by its cover. But judging it by its title? Hell yeah.
Can just those few words tell us whether a book is worth reading? Probably not. Can they make us wonder if the author was batshit insane? Definitely. Especially if it has a title like...
According to Amazon.com, 76% of the people who stumble upon "Pornogami" ultimately buy it. So who knows, maybe there's a marketing genius at work here. One that realizes there is a sexual fetish that requires a basic understanding of geometry and ultimately results in paper cuts in places you'll instantly regret.
"The Cookie Sutra?" you're probably saying, "Ha! I bet it's about two cookies fucking in various ways!"
And, you'd be right. So, say what you want about the title, but at least it's accurate.
It's hard to know what the point of this book itself is, unless these pictures are to serve as templates for the amateur bakers out there to create the most awkward conversations in Christmas history. "Look, Grandma! You bit off his little erection!"
Don't look at us like that. It wasn't our idea to call the book "Scouting For Boys" and to have a cover that portrays a boy, resting unaware on a rock, while we silently creep behind him.
This is actually the original Boy Scouts of America manual. Was there really no pedophilia back in the day? Were those such innocent times that you could get away with any boy love innuendo, no matter how blatant?
No innuendo here, just a premise for a How-To book that seems almost criminally retarded. However the author is a Captain, as the cover so proudly notes, so we'll assume he's a wise man who's yet to sink a raft of Cuban refugees.
Our favorite part is the "Second Edition" note on the cover. Really, you needed to update a book whose only page should read "Move right or, if unable to, move left?" What could be less useful?
Ah, that would probably do it.
As a general rule of thumb, secrets are only interesting if they're useful, and we're really doubtful that your garter snake knows the identity of the Zodiac Killer, so it's safe to assume this is a pretty dull read.
An excerpt from this tome of knowledge gives us one such secret: "The most popular name for a pet python is Monty." We're more than curious how many of the 277 "snake secrets" Paulette had to run through before she pulled that one out of her ass.