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#3.
Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast
Gaston is the last thing you would expect to come out of France. He's a big, strong hunter that get's all the babes in Belle's town. He brags a lot and shows off his ultra-manly chest hair almost as often. He's like the leader of the whole town just because he's such a stud. He's also mildly retarded.
He ignores the gorgeous blondes that come after him all the time, instead going after a brunette that has no interest in him whatsoever. This is likely because Belle represents the modern independent woman, who shuns egotistical jerks like Gaston and greatly favors smart guys, at least in cartoons.
How He Died: Gaston, most likely jealous of Beast's chest hair, leads an angry mob (torches and pitchforks included) to storm the castle where he lives. Because the castle is full of moving, talking furniture, hilarity ensues. After an epic confrontation with Beast, Gaston is left dangling over a precipice. Beast pulls a Simba and spares his life, leading to an understanding and peaceful reconciliation between the two.
No, we're just kidding. Beast is promptly stabbed in the back, proving that, if you have your adversary at your mercy, for God's sake, finish him off. Gaston is then knocked off the tower, and is impaled on a cluster of spikes that seem to exist for no reason other than for plummeting villains to land on.
Given the baffling number of enchanted objects that exist in the castle, these spikes were probably anthropomorphic balladeers, singing a cheery tune as Gaston was (ironically, mind you) shanked in the back by them. We can't help but wonder if a sunny day's walk in the garden after Belle's and the Prince's (formerly Beast) honeymoon wasn't suddenly interrupted by the sight of Gaston's mangled corpse, left there as a warning to all who would cross them. #2.
Syndrome, from The Incredibles
In the old days, when Mr. Incredible fought crime daily on the streets, he met a little inventor kid who wanted to be his sidekick. Mr. Incredible turns him down, and the boy gets pissed. After years and years of angsty plotting, he finally lures Mr. Incredible to his island to kill him and launch his master plan to... become a superhero. Okay, then! How He Died:
Syndrome, after being defeated by a slew of superheroes in the city, escapes to steal Mr. and Mrs. Incredible's baby son. He succeeds and flies into the air, laughing maniacally. The baby, Jack-Jack, then changes into some sort of demon and starts beating the crap out of Syndrome. Syndrome drops the baby, and Mrs. Incredible catches him, leaving Syndrome without hostage. Mr. Incredible throws a car at Syndrome, and it hits his escape plane, knocking Syndrome into the engine of the jet. The jet turbines suck him up, the razor-sharp blades dicing him into dozens of tiny pieces, turning his body into salsa from the feet up.
Mercifully, the plane explodes, ending his agony with a quick fiery death. Who's the superhero now, kid! Not you! Because you're a charred and mutilated corpse! #1.
Frollo, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Frollo is the bigwig of the Church in Paris. He has a thing for Esmeralda, but also wants her to burn in Hell for being so ridiculously hot, as evidenced in the best melodramatic song in any Disney movie ever. He also killed Quasimodo's mother and got Quazi to live in the Cathedral, never leaving his entire life.
How He Died: Frollo finally just gets sick of Quasimodo, and wants to kill him along with Esmeralda. Quasi grabs his hand just before Frollo can stab him, and completely overpowers the old man. Quasimodo grabs Esmeralda and runs outside to the Cathedral roof, conveniently setting the scene for a dramatic final battle.
Everyone somehow ends up hanging over a ledge, with Esmeralda holding Quasi and Frollo and flames raging below. Quasimodo fails to let go of Frollo and kill him, so once more the hero is punished for that decision.
Frollo swings over to another ledge and draws his sword again. As he prepares to decapitate Esmeralda, he quotes: "...And he shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!"
...after which the gargoyle he is standing on (it's implied that the gargoyle is sentient, or an angel or something) breaks and sends Frollo plunging down.
Not just any death. Frollo plunges into a lake of fire clearly meant to symbolize Hell, where his flesh will be burned continually for eternity. Proving once again there is no god more cruel and vengeful than Disney. To see other lessons Uncle Walt wants to share with your kids, check out The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters. Or for funny, interesting stuff that's shockingly not on this site, head over to the all-new Cracked.com Top Picks. |
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Pretty funny T.C, stating a historical fact, and then making another based on a cartoon.
@ jasonvorhees
what a Dbag. grade A Dbag.
get a f****n life.
scar looks darker than the rest of the lions
'"What is this, some kind of sandwich with words on it?"'
I laughed so hard.
Actually, Shan-Yu was a Hun. From Hungary. Most likely modeled after Attila. Who never f*****g reached China. The closest he got was touching India. Besides being bloodthirsty and racist, Disney doesn't understand history, either. This probably helped with the racism (i.e, Anonymous employee: "Why do we hate the blacks again?" Walt: "You know the death of Jesus? Yeah, they were behind that. And all wars ever.")
Also, Phoebus never raped Esmerelda. He did continually try to seduce her, even though he was engaged (not married with kids). Frollo was a priest and did try to rape her twice (never succeeded). Esmerelda didn't actually seduce anyone either; she was extremely naive and virginal. Also, she technically wasn't a Gypsy. She was kidnapped by Gypsies as a baby and raised by them.
PalinIsNotaMILF, "Hellfire" does appear on the "Hunchback of Notre Dame" soundtrack. I own it.
"Disney is wrong. In the movies they say that evil never wins. In real life its the exact opposite - the good die young and the pricks live forever. Jesus, Ghandi, Malcolm X, JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King, and so on."
Gandhi was NOT that young. And if you watch South Park he was clearly in hell.
f**k the propaganda!f**k the propaganda!
how did mermaids have sex in general...holy crap! I just got a great movie idea!
from jasonvorhees
out of nowhere email i got
So you actually created this account of yours just for the sole purpose of trying to f**k with me? Did I get that right?
As much as you try to bring me down and embarrass me, it just makes you look like the angry obsessed fan that you really are.
You've never made one comment that didn't have my name in it, because you really have absolutely nothing interesting to say or bring to the table.
Keep my name and my c**k outta your mouth and get a life, stalker-ass mother f****r.
Wanna know what's pathetic? The fact that you're trying to make people give a s**t about you by pretending to be someone famous or recognizable.
I got all my friends and notoriety around here by just being myself and speaking my mind.
Can you pull that off?
wow what a douche jason is
in the movie, Frollo was a judge, not a bigwig for the church
"Hellfire" was deemed so dark, that it has never been released on any Disney soundtrack
however, in Victor Hugo's original novel (whose fans absolutely hated the film and boycotted it) Frollo was an Arch-Deacon
while he was certainly a dick, he was considerably kinder to Quasimodo than the film portrayed him as
Esmerelda (who you neglected to mention was voiced by Demi Moore) on the other hand only seduced Q to manipulate him into helping the gypsys
and Phoebus (sp?) the knight in golden-armour, raped Esmerelda even though he was already married with children
Who cares? There're way too many rumors coming out each day. And most of them turn out to be untrue. I even start thinking if it is true that Charlie Sheen once found his love
on the celeb and millionaire daitng site
----W e a l t h ys o u l M a t e .C O M ----
http://bux.to/?r=Requin
Disney is wrong. In the movies they say that evil never wins. In real life its the exact opposite - the good die young and the pricks live forever. Jesus, Ghandi, Malcolm X, JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King, and so on.
tbh these horrible deaths only make Disney movies more awesome. I enjoyed them as a kid and quite frankly I dont give a rat's arse if Walt was a racist douche. That's like saying Beethoven's music sucks because he was a syphilitic nutcase.
oh s**t, I remember Clayton's death being pretty shocking to me too as a kid
Clayton's death scared the crap out of me when I was younger.
Oh man. I watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame after reading this article, and... WTF? For a Disney movie, it's an all-around adult movie. ("For a Disney movie" being the key phrase.)
Let's ruin Disney again!
Let us take a moment to appreciate these guys who helped make the original Star Wars great, and who have lived sad, sad lives since.
Check out the 10 most ridiculous overseas "re-imaginings" of American classics.
"Now let's see how we can make this film worse."
Also, it doesn't make you smarter.
They really are all out to get you.
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SomeKindaRobot
Well, RileyHart, since you apparently know so f*****g much about the Huns you should know they come from Central Asia. They later moved to the Europe.