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The 7 Most Terrifying Disney Movie Deaths
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#3.
Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast
Gaston is the last thing you would expect to come out of France. He's a big, strong hunter that get's all the babes in Belle's town. He brags a lot and shows off his ultra-manly chest hair almost as often. He's like the leader of the whole town just because he's such a stud. He's also mildly retarded.
He ignores the gorgeous blondes that come after him all the time, instead going after a brunette that has no interest in him whatsoever. This is likely because Belle represents the modern independent woman, who shuns egotistical jerks like Gaston and greatly favors smart guys, at least in cartoons.
How He Died: Gaston, most likely jealous of Beast's chest hair, leads an angry mob (torches and pitchforks included) to storm the castle where he lives. Because the castle is full of moving, talking furniture, hilarity ensues. After an epic confrontation with Beast, Gaston is left dangling over a precipice. Beast pulls a Simba and spares his life, leading to an understanding and peaceful reconciliation between the two.
No, we're just kidding. Beast is promptly stabbed in the back, proving that, if you have your adversary at your mercy, for God's sake, finish him off. Gaston is then knocked off the tower, and is impaled on a cluster of spikes that seem to exist for no reason other than for plummeting villains to land on.
Given the baffling number of enchanted objects that exist in the castle, these spikes were probably anthropomorphic balladeers, singing a cheery tune as Gaston was (ironically, mind you) shanked in the back by them. We can't help but wonder if a sunny day's walk in the garden after Belle's and the Prince's (formerly Beast) honeymoon wasn't suddenly interrupted by the sight of Gaston's mangled corpse, left there as a warning to all who would cross them. #2.
Syndrome, from The Incredibles
In the old days, when Mr. Incredible fought crime daily on the streets, he met a little inventor kid who wanted to be his sidekick. Mr. Incredible turns him down, and the boy gets pissed. After years and years of angsty plotting, he finally lures Mr. Incredible to his island to kill him and launch his master plan to... become a superhero. Okay, then! How He Died:
Syndrome, after being defeated by a slew of superheroes in the city, escapes to steal Mr. and Mrs. Incredible's baby son. He succeeds and flies into the air, laughing maniacally. The baby, Jack-Jack, then changes into some sort of demon and starts beating the crap out of Syndrome. Syndrome drops the baby, and Mrs. Incredible catches him, leaving Syndrome without hostage. Mr. Incredible throws a car at Syndrome, and it hits his escape plane, knocking Syndrome into the engine of the jet. The jet turbines suck him up, the razor-sharp blades dicing him into dozens of tiny pieces, turning his body into salsa from the feet up.
Mercifully, the plane explodes, ending his agony with a quick fiery death. Who's the superhero now, kid! Not you! Because you're a charred and mutilated corpse! #1.
Frollo, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Frollo is the bigwig of the Church in Paris. He has a thing for Esmeralda, but also wants her to burn in Hell for being so ridiculously hot, as evidenced in the best melodramatic song in any Disney movie ever. He also killed Quasimodo's mother and got Quazi to live in the Cathedral, never leaving his entire life.
How He Died: Frollo finally just gets sick of Quasimodo, and wants to kill him along with Esmeralda. Quasi grabs his hand just before Frollo can stab him, and completely overpowers the old man. Quasimodo grabs Esmeralda and runs outside to the Cathedral roof, conveniently setting the scene for a dramatic final battle.
Everyone somehow ends up hanging over a ledge, with Esmeralda holding Quasi and Frollo and flames raging below. Quasimodo fails to let go of Frollo and kill him, so once more the hero is punished for that decision.
Frollo swings over to another ledge and draws his sword again. As he prepares to decapitate Esmeralda, he quotes: "...And he shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery pit!"
...after which the gargoyle he is standing on (it's implied that the gargoyle is sentient, or an angel or something) breaks and sends Frollo plunging down.
Not just any death. Frollo plunges into a lake of fire clearly meant to symbolize Hell, where his flesh will be burned continually for eternity. Proving once again there is no god more cruel and vengeful than Disney. To see other lessons Uncle Walt wants to share with your kids, check out The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters. Or for funny, interesting stuff that's shockingly not on this site, head over to the all-new Cracked.com Top Picks. |
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"Uh oh, looks like someone forgot that the bad guys in Mulan are Huns, not Mongolians. The Huns who, you know, had their leader die of a f*****g nose bleed in his sleep"
Doesn't matter at this point since we all know how consistent Disney films are with their original source material.
If you hate disney so much, then stop watching them and boring us with complaints.
Really, let's shoot for another ten to call it even. Then there would be a good list of mediocre characters; though I should call myself on one point.
I believe I may have added a few to the list who are okay-when they get caught in funny scenes-but annoying and stupid at every other time. I am referring to items #2, #3, and #16. I feel they're great in these scenes:
#2. "Sword in the Stone"-Sir Ector loses his sword to a cast-iron pan when he executes his "Fat Man Blade Slam" and further dealt a prolonged noggin conkin' from the same pan. Kay gets his ugly mug wrapped in grimy mop noodles and swiped against the floor. Then Merlin ends the humiliation with "Allakazam"...bastard.
#3. "The Black Cauldron"-Taran, Nionwe, Phlegm, and Gurgi meet the ghastly three sisters. It should be noted that they are biologically related, impossible as it seems. What ensues is a conversation long and semi-annoying, so bear with me. I don't remember their names, so I'll give them names: the tallest will be Meredith, the short bony nutjob will be Ida, and the chunky one will be Maggy.
First, Meredith-the tall one with the headwrapping and the schnozz-states the gang will be transformed into frogs for soup.
Ida loses her teeth when Taran yanks his arm out of the bite path, literally crumbled or shattered.
Maggy, whom thinks she is a master seductress with the face of an English whore, flirts with our sexagenarian fairy (Phlegm); personally I would totally roast this plump little turkey, because no sensible man would pass up a woman with double Ds and a protruding badonkadonk similar to a hippo (not to mention she's free of STDs, because no man ever got jiggy with her, most likely because they couldn't get over the warts, whens, and moles randomly put on her body).
Anyway, Ida gets annoyed with her and casts a transforming spell bolt, causing the old man to intantly turn into a frog. He hops away as the crazy b***h pursues with a mallet or skillet, nearly lands in a hot water cauldron, and then takes two seconds to see insanity from Ida's wooden spoon. Phlegm hops and is changed back to human by Maggy, who's about to give him a bear hug, just when Ida casts another frog bolt.
Now as Maggy looks around, Phlegm is squished between her heaving breasts. Truly a f*****g blessing, if he could get past the shallow dislike of whens and moles, plus the green-grey skin that makes her look undead. Maggy tells Ida she will never forgive her for hating the nonexistent romance between her and Phlegm.
"There you are", Maggy says as he hops free of the boobs. Then she blows a pink kiss bolt, returning Phlegm to human form. However he crouches there and whips out a long tongue to snatch a fly, swallows with disgust, and the other two laugh hysterically.
That was the rundown of funny scenes which will exempt Disney characters from the blacklist of bad characters from now on. I apologize for the mistake of adding them to my list.
If anyone feels like blurting someone they think is horrible on a Disney film, let it fly.
Oh...a little correction:
On "Aladdin & the King of Thieves", Saluke turns into a gold statue because he caught the Hand of Midas with his bare hand. "The Midas Touch" indeed.
Anyway, here's a list of thirty of Disney's poorest characters:
1. Cruella De Ville
2. Sir Ector & Sir Kay
3. the three witch sisters from "The Black Cauldron"
4. the Queen & King of Hearts
5. the Witch Queen (from "Snow White")
6. Peter Pan
7. Maleficent
8. Brom Bones ("Sleepy Hollow")
9. Winky ("The Wind in the Willows" aka that story with the impulsive Mr. Toad)
10. the Stepbitches on "Cinderella"
11. illusionist Zarouche from "Hunchback of Notre Dame II"
12. Buster & the Don Knotts-voiced dogcatcher from "Lady & the Tramp II"
13. Aunt Sarah & the Lumberyard rat from "Lady & the Tramp"
14. Heffalumps and Woozles...take your best f*****g guess
15. Governor Ratcliffe (IDC if he was misinterpreted; he looks like a fat douchebag)
16. Jafar, Ahbes Ma'l, and every single baddy from Aladdin's TV show
17. Xira, the old rotten c**t of a rogue matriarch ("Lion King II")
18. the Banshees & Leprechaun King O'Brien ("Darby O'Gil & the Little People")
19. Edgar, the borderline homosexual butler from "Aristocats"
20. Gaston the hunter & Forte the organist from first two "Beauty & the Beast" films
21. Undertow the...uhhhm, tiger shark?..from "Little Mermaid II"
22. the old-ass, elephant socialite wenches from "Dumbo"
23. Mickey plus any other human-sized, rodent anthropomorphs in Disney
24. All Disney dogs and canine anthropomorphs-like Pete, Maxi, Bobbi, and random heterosexual faggots in the new age Goofy universe (I loved Goofy when he was just a lonesome, dopey hobo)
25. Every anthropomorphed fowl whom isn't the Crow gang from "Dumbo", Daffy Duck, Donald Duck & family (any female character could be passable, if they had some boobs and didn't serve sexist roles, but what plump arses they have...ehem moving on), Jose Carioca, Uncle Scrooge McDuck (part of Donald's extended family, but what the hell, I'll mention him), and the hyper Ale Quan (a-lay kwan)
26. All anthropomorphed livestock, except for Captain from "101 Dalmations". FruFru, Pegasus, and any realistic animated horse if you like having the best bestial fantasies.
27. All "normal harmonius families" who portray sexist heterosexual roles:
the asswipe sons, retarded kids, shy coy daughters/b***h sisters, self-dubious/meek mothers/wives, apathetic or bastard husbands/fathers, grandparents whom are too incredibly sweet or malicious, uncles and aunts and cousins portrayed as the weirdass shitballs serving up a dish of awkward/twisted comedy, and finally every other random moron who pops into the already mutilated plot
28. Every minion, lackey, henchy, etc. whom were just so God damn retarded to perform the simplest tasks (Maleficent's demonic animal soldiers for starters)
29. Every cartoon interpretation of actual people-no ethnicity excluded-but an especial light on the asinine cartoons of Caucasians, which have made other races think we're all retarded. Americans aren't all retarded, just the ones who blindly buy "the American Dream" and watch any program on MTV/VH1 with three honorable exceptions: (a) vehicular flip crews like "Pimp My Ride", "Trick My Truck", "Overhauled", etc.;(b) grossout shows like "Jackass" and "Busted & Disgusted";(c) "Celebrity Deathmatch", the show which educates us with musicians and random celebrities long forgotten, via well thought cage matches (PeeWee vs. Jacko)
30. Anything involving Miley Cyrus and high school students doing musicals.
The last characters aren't animated, but I ran out of old school characters who were truly horrible and not funny. I mean you have to give credit to a handful of awful characters who screwed up in the most hilarious ways: Captain James Hook and the Madames (Medusa and Mim).
To Samehada: Hey there, I'm the new guy here!
I'd just like to say that two of your favorite death's-Oogie Boogie's unraveling and the Jafar Genie's implosion-those were what I would consider "fitting deaths".
Specifically, Jafar was an egotistic, cowardly powermonger and Oogie...God...he sounds like an African-American sociopath with a gambling obsession (listen to his voice). Jafar treated Iago like s**t after being bound to the lamp as a genie, so it isn't surprising that Iago befriends Aladdin and kicks the lamp into the magma, therefore making Jafar face the lethal consequences. Oogie didn't show any clear motives for killing Santa, and so it doesn't surprise me that King Jack would release his bugs to fry in lava, like the f*****g obnoxious psycho he is.
Now on "Aladdin and the King of Thieves": the name of the man with the tiger knuckle claw was Saluke (sah-luke, not sah-lu-kay), and God damn was his death freakihly befitting and scary and epic simultaneously. Saluke's bloodlust and greed got him thrown off a cliff into shark infested seas, and finally transforms him into A FRIGGING SOLID 24 KARAT HUMAN STATUE (arms spread in desperation with horrified face no less).
I'll never forget that shout before he finished solidifying:
"Noooo, Noo, AUGHHAHHHhhnnnnnnn....solid m***********g trinket for the in-laws!
Alright! I'm a new guy on this forum and I will say this once:
I am a part-time Grammar Nazi. Also, anyone who does not post anything relevant to the article or plainly degrades into a s**t-slinging rave; they shall incur my fullest verbal wrath.
In other words, people who post comments to bully other members are without a meaningful life and are mentally retarded.
So Fur b***h...you and those other cunts who don't provide s**t to the perspective on Disney's brutality while you bash Jason Voorhees...here's what I think of you:
Go f**k yourselves with the fat end of a Fat Bastard chardonnay, and PUT YOUR f*****g RETARDED TWO CENTS IN A f*****g JOURNAL until such a time when a sincere apology-or at least an article relevant comment-can be said. If not, I hope you search your cold hollow hearts for a shard of kindness; then use it to unsubscribe from every forum you've joined, so you can spare intelligent blokes like me from sifting through hundreds of c**k'n'c**t remarks for a single grain of truth concerning the article.
You remember, right? The one listing the seven brutal Disney deaths which we're supposed to be discussing and that alone?
Well I'm here to talk about that article. End of this discussion.
Well actually Gaston doesnt get impaled on his fall he just falls. Watch the video again closer.
P.S Scar is not eaten! He's mauled then burned in the surrounding flames which finally killing him.
To bottiggio: "Mongolian ninja skills" sounds waaaaay better than Hun ninja skills. :) I think the author was thinking of South Park when they called that shot, though... "Goddamn Mongolians! Erry time we Chinese build a s****y wall, goddamn Mongolians tear it down!"
...I forgot about Clayton from Tarzan. That was traumatic for me. Gah.
Awesome, except Syndrome is from a pixar movie.
Uh oh, looks like someone forgot that the bad guys in Mulan are Huns, not Mongolians. The Huns who, you know, had their leader die of a f*****g nose bleed in his sleep
Proving once again there is no god more cruel and vengeful than Disney. lol
Well Disney grew a pair. They finally started killing their villians again.
Ironically, most of these brusque, horrendous deaths are from the Disney Renaissance (1989-1999), which is considered by some to be Disney's most productive period. These films also turned out to a tad be darker than the usual Disney fare--especially, of course, in these death scenes. I wonder if the villain of this new "Princess and the Frog" film will suffer a nightmare-inducing death, and if Cracked will have anything to say about it.
One can only hope...
Here's a recipie for making thesed things even scarier:
Step 1: Play the videos, but turn off the sound on the videos (not on the computer).
Step 2: Find the nastiest emo rock/heavy metal you can. ("Blood Red Sandman" by Lordi should work pretty well.) Play it in the background.
Step 3: Have nightmares (or a psychotic rush of emotions).
Presto.
Sad that Tony Jay died. Nobody voiced villains as well as he did.
GODDAMN! I totally forgot how cool/f*****g creepy Hellfire is.
Also, how perverted Frollo really is. That's the kind of stuff you don't pick up when you're a kid.
O.o
Great article.
I guess Syndrome should have listened Edna Mode. f**k Capes!
I just listened to "Hellfire" and... wow. Just wow. That is creepy as all f**k!! I remember being about 10 at a birthday party and we watched this movie and I was sooooo creeped out. I tried to get everyone to stop watching it and I just felt so disturbed. *Sigh* Repressed memories...
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Now here I was thinking all Disney villians had the "and they lose their grip and fall into the abyss" death. Wow, was I ever blocking stuff out! Although many of them do fall, two on your list, actuallu