The internet seems destined to change democracy forever. Anyone can stand up in support of their candidate, and have their voice heard by millions... no matter how fucking insane they are.
So, every election season the web is filled with cringe-worthy videos in "support" of a candidate who, we're guessing, regret the day their supporters figured out how to work a camera. We're talking about videos like...
8Diddy's Obama Blog
In this thoughtful piece, motherfuckin' Diddy shares his motherfuckin' thoughts on Sarah fuckin' Palin.
A rapper as a campaign supporter is a dicey proposition, but on the short list of rappers who would seem to make for a decent endorsement, Diddy is right near the top.
He's got a ton of cash, he's fairly well respected as a businessman, and he tends to let other rappers do his shooting for him. Unfortunately, he also has a video blog.
The premise of the video is simple: "John McCain is fuckin' up!" That's not a summary, that's a direct quote. It seems Diddy is unimpressed with McCain's decision to select Sarah Palin as his running mate. In presenting his argument against Sarah Palin, he makes the obvious "lack of experience" point that everyone else does. But then, he brings some new arguments into the fray. Among his politically savvy speaking points:
"I don't know if there's any black people in Alaska."
"You would let her keep your kids?"
"There's not even no crackheads in Alaska!"
Diddy has a point, Article Two of the United States Constitution clearly states that to be president you must be a natural born citizen, at least 35 years old and have been a permanent resident in a crack infested area of the United States for at least fourteen years. Until this is amended to include meth, Sarah Palin just doesn't qualify. It's also important to note that Diddy makes all of these arguments while inexplicably spinning around in circles the whole time. There may not be crackheads in Alaska, but if this video is any indication, there may be one on the loose in the Hamptons.
McCain supporters are often unfairly stereotyped as being rednecks. It's because of this guy.
Another fine endorsement from the world of music, this time courtesy of John Rich, one half of the duo responsible for "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy." For those of you at work, or with too much good sense to actually watch the video: Imagine those Monday Night Football videos that Hank Williams Jr. does every week. Got it? Cool. Now imagine Hank is singing exclusively about the team most likely to lose the game. That's "Raising McCain."
Speaking of raisins, this woman is old! Pow!
Lest you ever think McCain supporters don't know how to party, this video has everything you need to have a rocking good time. Including...
...menacing facial hair...
...a legendary air fiddle/real fiddle combo solo...
...and of course, party loving midgets!
We bet that elitist Obama doesn't have midgets at his party (bad DNC/Dennis Kucinich jokes notwithstanding).
As much fun as everyone appears to be having, we have to question the thinking behind this particular video. Is "we're all just raising McCain" really the catch phrase you want to use in support of a candidate so quickly approaching his nursing home years? Raising McCain might work as a sitcom about baby-boomers caring for their incontinent father. But we'd be more comfortable with a chorus along the lines of, "we're all just sitting around chillin' while our able bodied president handles shit." A real songwriter could craft a decent tune out of that.