A F*cking Cr*cked Round Up

So, there's this big economic catastrophe going on right now, right? $700 billion in taxpayer money going to "fix" the proble, right? And there's also this little election coming up, yeah? Whole lot of big stuff going on. But if you ask our readers, all of that stuff combined looks like a small hunk of shit next to the real issue right now: A fucking profanity filter in the comments section. The response has been an absurd overreaction of fairly epic proportions. It was, to say the least, not too inspiring.

Personally, we don't totally get the response. It's not like we're telling you to stop. And it's not exactly like we're decreasing the readability of the comments, (it's not as if you don't know what c*ckmuncher looks like without the asterisk). Even if you couldn't tell what c*ckmuncher was, there's a little "Show Profanity" button, (that we should have just labeled "Stop Your Whining"), to clear everything up. Yeah, when you hit that button, all of the asterisks go away. But, why mention that when instead you could explode in an absurd and almost comical overreaction.

Some highlights, perhaps are in order. User Tparrico expressed her dissatisfaction with the profanity filter with four consecutive comments, one of which was the word "beaner" over and over again. Gr3m1in says "This profanity blocker is doing further damage to the already crippled English language." Some people would just curse over and over again, and some would find clever, (or, what we assume they think of as "clever"), ways to beat the filter, (spacing out each letter i n d i v i d u a l l y). Congratulations, you're an amazing and brilliant hacker, expect a call from the NSA based on your uncanny filter-cracking abilities, we hear they're looking for codebreakers.

Honestly, folks...It's a profanity blocker. Reading some of the screaming, irrational reactions, well...We got worried about you guys. Get out a little bit. Like, outside. Go to places, with people. The park, a bar, the movies. Anywhere. Run around, meet people. We can't hide curses in the real world, so get your fill. Do anything, and maybe afterwards, you'll realize just how trivial a profanity blocker is, and how maybe there are some other targets that are slightly more deserving of your intense, insane rage.

Have a great day.


Holy Blog, it's Blog! Blog! In this week's HBN, Gladstone shows how you don't have to be a brilliant politician to write about politics. Or educated. You don't even really need even a slight grip on the issues. You just need a barely passable ability to write. Also, being Chuck Norris helps. In other blog, did you catch the Emmy's? Chris Bucholz did, and they sucked. You know who's had a good run but, frankly, can eat a big dick? Shakespeare. Swaim finally updates that whining, out of touch has been with his newstages of man. In a move that modern political experts are calling "illegal," Ross Wolinsky throws his expense hat in the 2008 Presidential race. And if one wholly unqualified and inexperience blogger running for president isn't enough, how about two?



MURDERERS ARE CRAZY!
The 6 Most Horrifying Ways Anyone Ever Got Rich
Get rich or murder your entire family trying.

Notable Comment:darkhorse08817 says "I have this idea for a "How Far Would You Go (for a buck)" TV game. Simple concept: contestant's leg is encased in an immovable 10 ton cement block. 10 yards away is a suitcase w/ $1 million (or $5 million for returning "champs" who'd won prior contests) in cash. Contestant is given a machete. Cameras roll. I think it'll smoke 'Survivor' in the ratings. Maybe the japanese will buy it :D" We support this show. So, so much.



SUBLIM(read cracked)INAL ADVERTISING!
6 Brainwashing Techniques They're Using on You Right Now
You probably just thought you were enjoying some commercials. Nope. Brainwashing. Everything you do or think is because of brainwashing. Free will's an illusion. Thanks for stopping by.

Notable Comment: brooklynrube says "Sorry, but I didn't get past the Asian boobies at the beginning of the article. I'm sure it's a great read though! Thanks for the boob shot." We come up with one of our most interesting and thoughtful articles, and we STILL lose to titties. (Also, what do you mean Robocop? We have no idea what you're talking about....)



MORE LIKE SUCKTION CUPS!
5 Insane Devices From Kids Cartoons that Actually Exist
Please let the Batmobile be next. Please let the Batmobile be next...

Notable Comment: Peregrino wrote a long and well-thought out comment explaining the mechanics behind the space slingshot. Or, at least, we assume that's what it was. We didn't read it. (Comedy website.)



HOLY ASSKICKING!
6 Saints Who Could Kick Your Ass
Following the Ten Commandments is easy. Heaven is only difficult to get into because it's heavily guarded by a six-man army of ass-kicking machines.

Notable Comment:Bearman says "s****y s****y f*g f*g s****y s****y f*g f*g!" Profanity filter works.



CRIMINALS ARE STUPID!
6 Baffling Mistakes Every Movie Criminal Makes
I wonder if the new, former cop in your secret bad guy operation is an undercover cop. Nah, couldn't be. Probably one of your trusted, time-tested veterans.

Notable Comment:DavidGee says "That's why I like "The Wire" so much. Those guys knew for the most part how to cover their tracks. The only really stupid thing they did was when Stringer gave $ 250,000 to Clay Davis." We have nothing funny to say. We just love that show.



YOU YOU YOU!
What Campaign Ads Would Look Like if the Voting Age was 6
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? Check out this week's contest about: How to Stay in Business After the Economic Meltdown.



Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.

9.25.08:

How the Amish view Electricity...
by snowplusbrd

Editor's pick:

It is an unfortunate fact of urban life that most electrical based crime is 'black on black'
by bobboringbaker

9.24.08:

Though the skittles argument is compelling...I think if I taste this rainbow I'll get herpes...
by Drroxxette

Editor's pick:

"Wait.. do you think they meant ten-o-clock at *night*? "
by jessen

9.23.08:

It's a pedophile feeder.
by spiderjerusalem

Editor's pick:

What a waist.
by Boneman2

9.22.08:

Never has yesterdays picture looked so guilty.
by tobykeith

Editor's pick:

The BrrrrrrrrLin Wall...
by Drroxxette

9.21.08:

Plaque reads " To see Darwinism in effect, press here".
by jdb121999

Editor's pick:

Megatron: "Is it cancerous?" Nurse: "No, and it's a simple procedure.. As a matter of fact, you can keep it as a souvenier."
by gm_zero

9.20.08:

And that was the last time little billy mixed his whites with his colors
by Dick_Johnson

Editor's pick:

"Drynet became self aware at 3:00 pm Eastern time on September 20th."
by CavalierX

9.19.08:

We don't know either...just don't fuckin' do it..
by snotsnake

Editor's pick:

Christ! what WILL they allow!
by HelperMonkey

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here

43 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!