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5 Retarded Get-Rich Quick Scams (People Still Fall For)
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#2.
4X Made Easy (Wizetrade)
Quite simply, this is God-like software that will make you rich. It seems there is something called the foreign exchange market (Forex) where people can trade currencies. The average daily trading on this market is $4 trillion dollars, which is about as big a number as you can have before you have to start using made up stuff like bajillionmillion. The Forex is a complicated market that involves a lot of analysis. Lucky for you 4X Made Easy makes it...uh...easy. For just $4,000! And a monthly fee!
You also get access to hilarious Jay Leno type skits like this one from their spokespeople, where they make fun of people who don't know anything about trading. Haha...what? Wait. It doesn't matter if you really know anything about trading yourself though. You are supposed to be able to make the right trades just by following the simple instructions, buying on green and selling on red. If you are color blind that's ok too because they also have arrows pointing up and down. Hell, a monkey could do it!
What You Will Really Get: A software program that will give you chance to go bankrupt, really fast. Remember that part where we said this was fucking complicated? Well those banks and trading companies that you will competing against employ hundreds of people whose only job is to research the market. You're going to be like the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi, minus the help from Luke and Han and your arms and legs. Sure you may get lucky, but at the end of the day you're going to have your furry ass handed to you.
Experts say this kind of trading is somewhere between retarded and illegal. Even better, you can actually lose more money than you have if you make enough bad trades, because you can trade on borrowed money. So all in all simply feeding your $4,000 to a goat would be a better investment. #1.
John Beck's Free & Clear Real Estate System
This bunch of books will cost you $40 and will teach you how to find and buy houses for just few hundred dollars. Apparently there are homes out there where the owners are just desperate to sell, due to tax trouble or whatever. You'll pay almost nothing, then sell them yourself at full price. It's turning another person's misery and bad fortune into cash money in your pocket! That's what America is all about, baby!
Somehow very few people know about this little gimmick and it seems John Beck is totally not interested in becoming a billionaire by keeping this secret to himself and cornering the market on high profit desperation sales. Probably because he wants us to join in on his dream! His website has a page of testimonials from people who claim success, including one guy who tells us he bought a unit of property for $10. He may have been confusing reality with a game of Monopoly he once played.
What You Will Really Get: The company of a lot of people who found out this scam was worthless. While all these ripoffs have their share of unhappy people, John Beck's system has an impressive 44 pages of complaints on just one scam review site. It turns out that most of the information on the included DVDs is simply a repeat of the stuff you probably just finished watching in the advertisement for it, which is like having to pay for sex with your wife. The company has been fined by the state of Utah and the Better Business Bureau has given this company its lowest rating.
Customers have found that, amazingly, it's actually really hard to find houses being sold for pocket change. Hey! This may be why Beck went into the bullshit book business instead! If you're really that desperate for money, check out The 6 Most Horrifying Ways Anyone Ever Got Rich. |
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"It turns out that most of the information on the included DVDs is simply a repeat of the stuff you probably just finished watching in the advertisement for it, which is like having to pay for sex with your wife."
You mean I shouldn't be paying for sex with my wife? Damn!
I think they forgot to put Primerica on the list.
Every single one of these get-rich-quick things always promises you the same thing - make a lot of money fast - but they ALWAYS charge you money to get the information. Think about that for a second. If they really knew how to make a lot of money, why would they need your $39.95 in the first place?
I just found this get-rich-quick site http://www.succeedin24hours.com. Where do they come up with this stuff?
And, the idea of putting ads on a page that "match" the topic (a la gmail, which creepily puts up ads that relate to words in my personal emails) makes sense when the site is NOT a satire and comedy site. However, those of us who love irony can laugh. Consider the ad a kind of Darwinism: if after reading the article you STILL are convinced to blow your cash on that product then you've earned your lifetime of poor misery you sad pathetic bastard!
The fucktards claiming a "6.8 billion dollar industry w 3 million businesses" is cashing in on our inability to do math. 6,800,000,000/3,000,000= *drumroll* $2,266. Mommy wow, you're rich now! they apparently got too excited and added a few zeros before that decimal when coming up with their "yearly income"
A lot of mystery shopping stuff is crap, too. They charged my checking account four times before I had my bank cancel the charges. Plus, the Better Business Bureau can't do anything about them.
And at the bottom of the page is an advert for the Forex scam...
got snookered into an amway presentation and dude tried to sell us on "it's the McDonald's business model" the only thing I took my stoned ass away from it was he said "McNasty" in his speech and I thought that was cool name. same friend that snookered me into the amway pres also sold Kirby vacuums for awhile, I'm surprised that wasn't on here.
"maybe you should update your information or get all your facts straight."
Maybe you didn't see that you're on Cracked.com. Since when are facts relevant?
you shouldnt diss amway unless you know how its works.
i am an ibo (independant business owner) through amway and i dont try scamming people into buying my products or getting them to join up...and i make anywhere between $3,500-$4,500 per month.amway has grown with the times, they have a website with a huge catalogue full of beauty products,groceries,health products,cookware,accessories etc.
maybe you should update your information or get all your facts straight.
I've seen all of these while I was up late at night not masturbating. People are stupid bastards.
Hah, on the page there is an advertisment to "Get Rich Quick".
I had a very similar experience as MythicFox did (reading through old comments).. I got dragged to a similar presentation by a guy I knew but for amway. About the time he had finished drawing up the pyramid diagram then saying it wasnt a piramid scheme I just couldnt help myself and laughed my ass off :) shortly after that I fell asleep. Its pretty sad seeing people fall for that crap, and sometimes scary. For example that friend would listen to amway motivational tapes constantly in the car etc, is pretty much brainwashing.. then ofcourse theres the amway meetings with theyr weird handshakes etc, always some rich guy who has a nice house and lostsa money encouraging everyone on to eliminate every friend they ever had in the promise of more money. Was about 10 years ago when I was just in my late teens and whole thing still creeps me out to this day :), luckily I have never come across it since, was kinda hoping these scams had died out. Companies like that do work for a certain few but they have to be cold hard manipulators with a firy brain, pray on the weak / feeble / desperate... I personally prefer to just try and earn money if it's not going so well i cut back on me spending, screw it, rather be nice and broke than rich having taken advantage of hundreds of people to get that way hehe
Why is the ad at the end of the article a get rich quick scheme...?
get rich now, rich with laughter
www.TOKILLFOR.com
There's something I never understood about these "get rich quick schemes". If they really work, why aren't the people who answer the phone when you call to order rich? I mean, if the thing works and makes you rich, why are these people answering the phone taking orders for $7.00 an hour when they could be selling vitamins or real estate and making millions. Can someone explain that?
Amway kind of made sense when it was first started. The original idea was that you would build up a network of retail customers, and only prospect for new sub-distributors when you had more work than you could handle. Nowadays you're competing against Walmart and there is no way to make money from this, although many smart people have been duped into thinking they can.
@kschroer105 ...you are right that link to that paper makes no references or links to the Mafia...until the third page.
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