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The 6 Most (Certifiably) Insane Tales of Rock Star Behavior

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#3.
Serge Gainsbourg Sings About Incest... With His Daughter

Legendary (to French people) pop singer Serge Gainsbourg was never any stranger to odd behavio(u)r. But the line between strange and crazy is a fine one. Take, for example, the time he appeared with Whitney Houston on what amounted to the European version of The View and said, and we quote, "I want to fuck you." Strange? Sure. Crazy? No, it was 1985, who didn't want to nail Whitney Houston in 1985?

No, the Whitney incident was downright boring compared to Gainsbourg's single "Lemon Incest." There is nothing inherently strange about singing about incest, we suppose. Aerosmith had a huge hit that was about incest ("Janie's Got A Gun"). But it's not like anyone thought any differently about Steven Tyler because of the song.


OK, bad example

But to sing about incest with Joe Perry on lead guitar is one thing. To sing about it with your daughter on co-lead vocals, that's some whole other shit altogether.

And that's exactly what Gainsbourg did on "Lemon Incest," a duet with his quite young daughter Charlotte. It's at this point that our European readers will scold us for being "dumb Americans" who "misunderstood" the song. And hey, that may be. Or maybe Europeans just have hotter kids than we do. Whatever the case, it's hard to read these lyrics without getting a bit of the heebie jeebies:

The love that we will never together,

Is the most beautiful, the most violent, the purest, the most intoxicating,

Exquisite outline, delicious child, my flesh and my blood,

Oh my baby my soul,

Incest lemon, lemon incest

But surely, seeing the video for the song will dispel any misunderstandings about the meaning of the song, right? What father doesn't croon about incest over sleazy electronic music while laying shirtless in bed with his kid? In a perfect world, fucking all of them.

#2.
Whitney Houston Gets the Christmas Spirit... By Joining a Cult

Speaking of Whitney ...

It takes a lot to out-crazy Bobby Brown. But time and again, Whitney rises to the occasion. In a stunt that Bobby couldn't dream up in a hundred crack-filled years, Houston traveled to Israel in 2003 to spend time with a cult group known as the Black Hebrews. Her reasoning for the trip? To find inspiration for her upcoming Christmas album.

Hanging out with Jews to get inspired for Christmas? Hey, why the hell not? But the group, on the surface just a run-of-the-mill religious group, is purported by some to be more like a cult. Given their unorthodox policies of polygamy (men are allowed seven wives) and, much more ominously, strict vegetarianism, it's not much of a stretch.


"Crack is vegetarian, right?"

According to some former members, the group believes so heavily in discipline that, not only have children died while being beaten by their parents, but adults are also beaten for failing to abide by the laws of the group's settlement. Adults who have fallen ill due to the strict diet imposed on them have refused medical attention due to their refusal to visit "heathen doctors" in Europe and American.

Needless to say, Houston was sold. By the time she left, Whitney was referring to Israel as "my land." And Bobby was probably on the hunt for six more wives. What a bunch of lucky ladies!

#1.
Phil Spector Kidnaps The Ramones

Legendary producer and songwriter Phil Spector is one of those guys who is batshit insane, but you'd never know it from his calm, reassuring exterior.


You can't judge a book by its cover.

The above photo is what he looked like when he showed up to his trial for murder charges, looking as sane as possible to impress the jury. Anyway, what is so surprising is how successful he managed to become while spewing the crazy on damn near everyone around him.

Like the time he put a loaded gun to Leonard Cohen's head. Or that one time when he fired a shot in the studio while he was working with John Lennon. Or all of the other times he allegedly pulled guns on the artists he worked with. But if one incident takes the cake over all of them, it would be the time when Phil allegedly held The Ramones at gunpoint, while working on their End of the Century album.

According to bassist Dee Dee Ramone, while in the studio Phil pulled Joey Ramone away for a private meeting. Dee Dee went off in search of the pair, at which point he says Spector emerged at the top of a staircase, waving a pistol around.

After Dee Dee objected to, you know, having a gun pulled on him and shit, he told Phil he was leaving. That he did this instead of, say, diving behind a piece of furniture while screaming, indicates that the sight of Spector with a gun wasn't all that uncommon.

At that point, Spector allegedly pointed the gun at Dee Dee's chest and motioned for the rest of the band to return to the piano room. Then, with the band captive in the locked room, he sat at a piano and made the band listen to him sing "Baby, I Love You."

Repeatedly.

Until 4:30 in the morning.

But on the bright side, at least nobody got shot in the face!

When not writing for Cracked, Adam can be found rocking insanely hard at ScenicAnemia.com

If you enjoyed that, let Adam tell you about The 9 Most Unnecessary Greatest Hits Albums of All Time or allow him to ruin any illusions you might have had of a non-perverted Brian Adams with 6 Famous Songs That Don't Mean What You Think.





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I think that Phil Spector...needs anice white jacket...some padded walls, and a nice shot in the ass....lol

Posted on 12/29/2008 5:40:31 PM

Phil Spector's photo just oozes "bat-s**t crazy.

Posted on 12/16/2008 8:51:20 PM

where's syd barrett?

Posted on 12/5/2008 10:22:51 PM

The whole Steven/Liv Tyler thing is also way creepy. Remember that video Aerosmith did where she was a stripper? Weird. We cast their own daughter as a stripper.

Posted on 10/10/2008 1:08:43 PM

.

Posted on 10/3/2008 7:47:19 AM

While on tour in Florida with Mötley Crüe, Ozzy got into a cocaine snorting contest with their bassist Nikki Sixx. He then proceeded to snort a line of fire ants from a nearby anthill!

Posted on 10/2/2008 9:28:16 PM

Sinead has more talent in her hair!

Posted on 10/2/2008 11:18:29 AM

this was all kinda stuff that ive come to expect from these douchenozzles.

Posted on 9/30/2008 12:19:15 AM

In honor of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, rofl: http://tinyurl.com/5l5srb

Posted on 9/19/2008 9:23:30 AM

OH..I forgot about P. Spector, great producer, lousy at gun safty...when are they gonna convict that psycho anyway?

Posted on 9/14/2008 5:46:25 PM

The Rob Thomas Santana Colab is great s**t! OK..Was great s**t..it did indeed groove, I bit the head off a chicken once, just last week..Kentucky FRIED chicken Yall! and Now Id like to thank my higher power which I choose to call Paris..."thanks Paris, still waiting for a second video GF."

Posted on 9/14/2008 5:44:30 PM

spector is "special" and Prince is a puss. I would have liked to see sinead throw his ass off of something!

Posted on 9/14/2008 9:56:51 AM

You know, none of this even made me blink. Except for Ozzy killing the dove, but that's just because I'm vegetarian. And that's more dickish than crazy.
The line 'much more ominously, strict vegetarianism," was pretty funny though.

Posted on 9/14/2008 7:11:49 AM

His daughter Had a Wanker! Check it out! at 1:50 she has wood!

Posted on 9/12/2008 7:16:38 PM

@ enigma_woman: You think I'm so retarded I wouldn't know GG Allin's dead when I have bite it you scum tattooed under my ass cheeks? Yeah, one of the guys from cKy the band, said "nobody knows GG Allin, I'll kill him" when he's s******e drunk pissing on his grave. Just me talking out of my ass. Don't worry, I say s**t like that all the time in real life too, though I suppose it loses it's meaning in writing.

Posted on 9/12/2008 1:10:47 PM

Actually, those aren't 'Europeans', those are 'The French'. To quote Blackadder: "They'd sleep with the kitchen sink if it pulled itself into a pink tutu"

Posted on 9/12/2008 5:54:35 AM

And I quote my self "Then again I might just be taking a piss, and not actually give a rats ass about Mr.Serge Gainsbourg." My comments are meant as jests. Take a pill.

Posted on 9/12/2008 5:49:03 AM

as I said, SpankTV, your reaction is exactly the kind of self-righteous bullshit Gainsbourg was aiming for, so you are actually making him a favor by insulting him. This song was his answer to people accusing him of incest, do you think if he was guilty he would have reacted this way ?

Posted on 9/12/2008 4:38:32 AM

yeah..rainbows are nice and refreshing. kinda..
the most disturbing was def. gainsbourg and his kid.
she even had his shirt on. yuckkkkkkkus.

Posted on 9/11/2008 9:10:22 PM

WackBatman, I'm gonna have to agree with echocharlie. 16 comments is a little much, even if you are bored. There is a life out there for you to get, if you just try. Reach for that rainbow!

Posted on 9/11/2008 8:23:46 PM

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