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10 Important News Stories as Depicted by 5-Year-Olds

By CRACKED Readers August 28, 2008 258,188 views
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Much of the world is at war, most economies are in the tank, and now we can't even distract ourselves by pretending to be entertained by the Olympics. We wondered if the world would look any less bleak if viewed through the eyes of a five-year-old.

So, we asked you to break out the MS Paint and show us how a kindergartner might view some of the world's current problems, and we promised $50 to the best one. The winner is below, but first ...

#10.


by bunker6


#9.


by popeoptimus


#8.


by GreenPeace


#7.


by The Furlinator


#6.


by VanD


#5.


by SlimeQ


#4.


by AndelleRae


#3.


by karaanalunea


#2.


by getfreshdesigns


And the winner is...



by bunker6


Congrats, bunker6 . You win money.

Want in on this?

You'll have another chance. This week's theme is:

Advertising techniques from the future.

What will advertising technologies and techniques look like decades from now? Fire up Photoshop and show us how annoying, awesome, bizarre or downright terrifying advertising will get in the future.

Post your entries in the forums.

If you'd like to see our first MS Paint contest, check out 25 Historical Events (As Depicted by 5 Year Olds). Or take a look at What The World Would Look Like If The Other Side Won The War. For pictures too strange to make up, but not to make fun of, check out The Daily Craption Contest.

Got an idea for a future Cracked photoshop contest? Let us know.



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118 Comments

FINALLY!!! they choosed a decent one for #1!

9/9/2008 4:35:56 PM
Framon

cracked is Florida and I think we know what that means........

9/5/2008 12:25:53 PM
SlickityMuffet

i chuckled at 2

9/4/2008 7:08:20 AM
Erika_Roxx

I enjoyed this.

9/3/2008 11:08:56 PM
PigletCommando

5 year olds don't know what hard ons are. f**k, I didn't even know what the purpose of a boner was till I was like 19.

9/3/2008 12:11:44 PM
T.C.

where did they find these kids?

9/2/2008 4:51:22 PM
manville

Wallsy

"None of these are great, but 4, 3, 2 and 1 are completely lame. Did you put the list backwards or something?
Posted on 8/29/2008 12:55:03 AM"

They're better than yours, so don't be a critic, only an a*****e focuses on the things they don't like, it's just like the old adage goes "if you don't have anything nice to say, then that's fine nobody knows who the f**k you are anyway." or something like that.

8/31/2008 7:48:32 AM
tc.rowell

The lobster Jesus is Zoidberg from the Santa episode of Futurama.

8/30/2008 1:34:54 PM
ManhandleZinc

#4 is the bee- heading on the bus. what else would it bee?

8/29/2008 8:03:44 PM
Jmx70inNJ

1 is absolutely great. Also liked war in a rock.

8/29/2008 5:14:45 PM
toastking

#1 and 2 are just damn awesome

8/29/2008 5:00:46 PM
BWraithly

The link to the 25 Historical Events has an extra L in the .html. Seems like little, but it doesn't work.

8/29/2008 3:44:07 PM
ZOMGTorrentPLZ

Number 2 and number 9 are my favourites, although I'm not really sure what news story number two is referring to.

8/29/2008 2:19:27 PM
Voix Mortelle

whose fucked up 5 year old thought of that and where's children's aid??

8/29/2008 1:49:41 PM
AnderX

Mmmmm I love it when people steal jokes from 4chan

8/29/2008 1:27:04 PM
paranoiabacon

The people who are saying #4 is about disappearing bees are either blind or don't understand puns. It's a man with a BEE for a HEAD (behead) on a Grayhound bus.

Wallsy: Have you ever been to prison?

8/29/2008 12:57:15 PM
Yarp

In #9, jesus appears to be one of the "Crab People".

8/29/2008 9:42:45 AM
benbolin

How many f*****g 5 year olds know what a "Hard-On" is?

8/29/2008 9:39:04 AM
benbolin

At first, I thought that the winner owed royalities from that $50 to John Hodgman. But upon Googling it, I guess the Large Hardon Collider joke has been been around for a while, and the NY Times even printed it that way in a headline on their website before correcting it.

8/29/2008 8:55:58 AM
JanniR

shamille, the Greyhound Bus picture refers to the event where a man suddenly stabbed the man sitting next to him in a Greyhound Bus in Canada before beheading him. "Bee-head". Get it?

8/29/2008 5:22:32 AM
RayZR

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