The Disturbing Origins of 5 Common Nursery Rhymes
Let's face it: everything is a lot more horrifying than you thought when you were a kid. Pick even the most childlike, innocent thing you can think of, and the odds are that there's a deeply disturbing story behind it.
For instance, nursery rhymes. We grew up memorizing these seemingly nonsense lines of verse from Mother Goose, which seem to exist for no other reason than to keep toddlers entertained. There couldn't possibly be some kind of weird, twisted history to them, could there?
Well, guess what ...
#5.
Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?
We Thought it Meant...
A trio of unfortunate rodents on a mission to find out where the hell they are, eventually run into an old woman who just happens to be skilled in chopping small defenseless animals to pieces. So this one's actually already kind of disturbing on its own.
But Some Experts Say...
The farmer's wife in the poem is an allusion to the 16th Century Queen "Bloody" Mary I, and her enthusiasm for everything involving torture, death, and basically finding new ways to go down in textbooks as history's biggest bitch. The three mice supposedly represent three noblemen who got together and said, "Gee guys, maybe this Mary lady isn't all there." and were consequently prosecuted for conspiring against the queen.
Not afraid to cut a motherfucker.
If you're cringing at the thought of what the cutting off of their three "tails" symbolizes, don't worry. She didn't cut off their dongs. No, she proved she had some form of human empathy, and simply burning those suckers at the stake instead.
#4.
Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away
We Thought it Meant...
Some playground creep who seemed to lose his balls at the sight of young men.
But Some Experts Say...
The whole thing refers to a torrid gay sex scandal involving King Charles I.
Georgie Porgie is thought to be a caricature of George Villiers, the 1st Duke of Buckingham and hardcore pretty boy. He was rumored to be a lover to Anne of Austria, the Queen Consort of France who was notorious for just about everything except for being pretty. Or really looking like a woman at all.
Possibly a dude.
So after having a fling with the, er, somewhat masculine Anne, it was a pretty smooth transition for Villiers to switch teams. Not one to do anything half way, the man Villiers chose to woo just happened to be King Charles I. Through the king, Villiers was able to become very powerful and influential, and was even knighted as a--and we're not making this up--Gentleman of the Bedchamber, a title Georgie's parents were surely proud of.
Eventually, Parliament got sick of the bastard and cut off the relationship. As a man of love, Villiers fought for his darling Charles valiantly by pretty much screaming, "Well...okay!" Thus the reference "When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away."
As for what exact innuendo "Pudding and pie" represents, we'll let you use your imagination.
#3.
Goosey Goosey Gander
Goosey Goosey Gander, whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs and in my Lady's chamber.
There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers,
So I took him by his left leg and threw him down the stairs.
We Thought it Meant...
The town hobo breaking in to various women's rooms and throwing their partners down stairs for being religiously inconsistent.
But Some Experts Say...
Back in 16th century Europe, most people were busy either fighting off plagues or killing off Catholics. Priests especially were in high demand as there was a reward for the Protestant who was able to find and execute one.
The method of execution was often tying him by the legs and throwing him down a flight of stairs (thus the last line in the rhyme). Unless he would begin to say his prayers in English rather than Latin, he would bounce down the steps faster than your childhood Slinky. If he did give in, he was spared by--oh wait, no. They threw him down the stairs regardless.
So that's all well and good, but what the hell does the phrase "Goosey Goosey Gander" have to do with anything?
Well, it's thought that "Goosey" is referencing an old slang term "goose" which was a nice but roundabout way of saying "voluptuous lady of the night" which in turn is a euphemism for "goddamn dirty hooker." In fact, the term "goose bumps" was originally slang for the red bumps caused by venereal diseases.
The more you know, kids!
Guillotine didn't really come out till a while later in history (maybe a bit before the French Revolution) and Bloody Mary was queen a lot earlier han that. So if it is refering to a torture device, than it was probaly the Iron Maiden. Which was basicly a big iron coffin shaped like a lady with spikes covering every inside surface. Very painful since the maiden could be closed on you. By the time they(the torturers) took you out, you would look like human swiss cheese.
ReplyQueen "Bloody" Mary was popular enough to frequent a number of nursery rhymes, which is pretty impressive all these centuries later. How many nursery rhymes do you appear in? Yeah, that's what we thought. You need to start doing something with your life.
Reply*Sigh* If I had a nickel for every time somebody asked me that...I'd have 2 nickels. But you know, 2 nickels is 2 nickels all the same...
That's an ape, not a monkey.
Replypersonaly, i would have called "the maiden" captain choppy
ReplyMany of these "origins" seem a little far fetched - especially considering that they're all based on modern, well-known American versions of the rhymes, all of which have multiple versions of the verses depending on your region and time period. There's also a great deal of debate over rhymes like Mary, Quite Contrary. I'd take all of these interpretations with a large spoon of salt.
ReplyRemember, free speech was nonexistent back then. Limericks and rhyming slang of all types were common.
ReplyWhat about Sing a Song of Sixpence? I remember reading that that rhyme was is about recruiting for pirates or something like that.
Replyi was taught that the Mary, Mary Quite Contrary was about Queen Mary having still births thats what the "how does your garden grow?" and the maidens in a row meant her dead babies buried in her garden.
ReplyThis was a very funny article that was quite enjoyable to read, but where is the humpty dumpty explanation? It's in the headline picture, why isn't it in the article? Or did I skip it by accident? Mind you I think that story is somewhere else on the sight.
Reply"Mary, Mary" is about Bloody Mary, but the rest of it is different than what I was taught. She was Catholic & trying to rid the kingdom of Protestants, so this rhyme is about her efforts. "Silver bells" being church bells (they ring for the various prayer hours during the day/evening). "Cockleshells" was actually a reference to the shells the flowers resembled, which Catholic pilgrims frequently wore on their way to holy sites. And "pretty maids all in a row" is actually referring to Catholic nuns (which, being in a row, makes more sense than The Maiden, although I see where they got that). I want to say I got this information while on a tour of the Tower of London, but that was so long ago, I'm actually not sure.
ReplyThe explanation of Pop Goes the Weasel makes sense. As for the others... Let's just say I'll believe a nursery rhyme is about Bloody Mary when somebody coughs up a version in pre-Shakespeare English. Quite sneaky of those Tudor and Jacobean subversives, to mask their intent by using 19th-century language from the future.
ReplyKudos to the author for leaving OUT "Ring Around the Rosy," which can't be traced any earlier than 1881. And the notion that it has anything to do with the Black Death didn't even show up until 1961. Check your Snopes, folks.
this article gave me goosebumps, slut!
ReplyCount me among those who heard that "Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary" was Mary, Queen of Scots and that "Georgie Porgie" was one of the King Georges. I seem to remember the origin of Georgie Porgie was supposedly a reference to George III and the American Revolution.
ReplyI remember looking at an entry in that old book of nursery rhymes. There was one that went to the effect of a guy goes up to lady's house. He asked if he could come in. She emphatically tells him "no no". It ends saying he went in anyways. And, my jaw dropped.
ReplyThe Goosey Goosey Gander one seems like a real stretch. That is, "couldn't say his prayers" could well refer to Catholic priests; that sounds plausible, but execution by stairs? That sounds dubious to me. And while goose might have meant prostitute, what's the evidence that's what's meant here? I wish we knew who "some experts" were.
Replygoose is very defnitely a slang word for a prostitute in Scots it features in another song.
cam ye o'er frae France
Cam ye down tae lunnon
an a saw yon geordies whelps and his bonnie woman
were ye at the place kaid the kittle hoosie
saw his geordie grace riding on a goosie
roughly translated as
did you come from from France down to london? I saw George's wife and Children.
Were you near the brothel (kaid=beside) I saw George f*****g a prostitute
The George in question being the Prince regent (future George IV) who was well known for frequenting brothels and only married so his father would pay off his debts.
Hang on, the "Georgie Porgie" one is about King George (one of them anyway, the one that gave rise to the term "Georgian era") who really loved to screw woman, however he was a complete coward whenever the woman's father/brother/spouse/etc called him out for a duel.
ReplyIt could be all the Vicodin I've taken today, but not one of these so-called "expert" interpretations makes a damn bit of sense.
ReplyHaha I like "Ring around the Rosie"...a reference to the Black Death.
ReplyThe guillotine was not ruddy well invented in the Tudor era. Seeing as its inventor was killed during the Reign of Terror and all. I seriously thought that was common knowledge.
ReplyActually the guillotine was invented in Yorkshire, England, during the Tudor period. The entry still makes no God-damn sense anyway (I've never heard of a guillotine being called a Maiden before).
it was in Scotland
im in all the nursery rhymes that my mom told me and she did NOT make them up my name is love so suck on that
ReplyI... actually can't think of any nursery rhymes that mention love. Sorry.