Welcome, PWoT fans! David Wong and PWoT have merged operations with Cracked.com, so you need to update your bookmarks or else you're going to see this damned banner every time:
A Sexy Cracked Round-Up, with a Bonus Contest!
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Sometimes at the Cracked Offices, after we've spent a week making you laugh free of charge with hilarious articles like the ones below, we feel it's time for you to give back to us. You've had it too good for too long, so we're going to make you pay the way people have paid for their insolence for thousands of years: You're going to make stickers for us. That's right, we're running a contest for you folks to design stickers to coerce normal folks into visiting comedy supersite, Cracked.com. The rules are simple: There are no rules. Rule #2: Designs must conform to the size specifications as dictated in the contest thread. Rule #3: Stickers should in some way but not in a negative- ...You know what, there are actually a bunch of rules, and you should really read the thread. So there it is. Make us some stickers. If you're design gets chosen as the winner, we're going to give you $50! If you're the runner up, you'll get $25! It's our little way of saying "We're too lazy to design our own stickers." Get to it! Remember when Bucholz used to write about the Olympics all the time? Well, he apparently thinks you forgot and hopes to remedy that problem. Meanwhile, Swaim needs your help in stopping an anti-gay uprising brought on by an increasingly crazy science fiction writer. Are the Olympics and Civil Rights too heavy for you? Ross talks about fake asses a lot, to really balance things out and then DOB jokes about anthrax and suicide to bring you right back down.
Notable Comment: Slightly_Sane says "boobies." Y'all see that? Slightly_Sane gets us.
Notable Comment: Proving that this curse is real, steveysteve reports "I watched the Omen and three days later my neighbor's cat got pregnant".
Notable Comment: Cfan01 says "The Song of Solomon is a bit more sexual in nature, but people seem to miss the point of the book: sex, once married, is okay with God, and indeed even pleasing to him. God invented sex, humans have just ruined His ideas for it with incest, rape, kinky sex, etc." "Ruined? Bitch, please. The sex that God invented was neat, but by no means complete. We perfected sex.
Notable Comment: Necroarkhe says "Needs Aquaman." Probably the only time anyone or anything ever will need Aquaman, but yes, we agree.
Notable Comment: Andrewski says "I know it is lame to make fun of people's spelling, but I also think it is kind of funny to see intelligence spelled incorrectly." See, here's our problem: You say that you know it's lame, but then you go ahead and point it out anyway. How are we ever supposed to trust you with all this crazy flip-flopping you're doing? Get it together, Drewski. (You are very lame.)
WINNERS!The Craption Contest!
Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.
8.14.08:
Genesis 4:20
"...And God put a quarter in the plastic egg machine and the toy inside was man." Editor's pick:
Unable to maintain his medical costs, the Bubble Boy's parents tried unsuccessfully to drown him.
8.13.08:
After Q retired, Bond was forced to do a lot of his own modification.
Editor's pick:
Optimus Prime would never admit he had something on the side with a Pinto in the Seventies, but this car was a constant reminder of their one night of passion.
8.12.08:
I told you that naming it USS WTF is bad luck.
Editor's pick:
WTF? = Will Tanks Float? Answer....... No
8.11.08:
Almost 25 years later, Ernie Hudson still decorates his car to remind people that he was the other guy in Ghostbusters.
Editor's pick:
The Stay Puft Evangelist spreads the word.
DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS.
8.10.08:
"See, white people be gettin out of the box like this... But black people be gettin out of the box like this!"
Editor's pick:
He's from the Caribbean, but he's not Jamaican, so he must be Afro-Cube-In.
Thank you and good night Ladies and Gentlemen.
8.09.08:
The Dixie Chicks have got to be the ugliest women in country music.
Editor's pick:
Brokewax Mountain
8.08.08:
"YOU CHOOSE NOW!""It velly simple, you rike baby? pick baby. you no rike baby, we frush baby, new one come 5 or 10 minute"
Editor's pick:
With the tightening of the one-child policy, the birth of twins became an increasingly bizarre competition.
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The Insane True Stories Behind 6 Cursed Movies
The 6 Hottest Sex Scenes in the Bible
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MI-6 to CIA: 5 Top Secret Agencies Who Want to Hire You
20 Ideas for Making the Olympics Kick Way More Ass
