No one can predict what will happen when one superhero takes on another. Well, other than the fact that the guy whose name is on the comic book cover is going to win.
Sometimes, you don't even need that. Here are seven match-ups where one party is so clearly outmatched they make Ralph Nader seem like a safe bet.
7Captain Boomerang Vs. The Flash
While most Superman stories boil down to "He punches something REALLY hard" (or in the grittier, psychological stories, "He's really DETERMINED to punch something really hard"), the Flash's stories are based on a fine balance. The balance between the colossal stupidity of his enemies and the not-quite-so-colossal stupidity of the hero, who never seems to remember that since he has superhuman speed, he could kill anyone before they even know they're his enemy, literally the instant he decides to do so.
But even this balance swung over to "wildly one-sided" when he fought Captain Boomerang.
We seriously doubt that there is a Boomerang Army, or that they would promote this man to captain.
How do you take on a hero who can outrun bullets? If you're George Harkness you think, "I'll use slower projectiles that are designed to return to me, and because I have the mental faculties of a goldfish and have already forgotten the beginning of this sentence, I will then strap explosives to these projectiles! I can see no possible flaw in this plan!"
Harkness turned to crime after an audience ridiculed his boomeranging prowess, a decision which turned out even worse than you'd expect. Captain Boomerang is considered a joke even among the Rogue's Gallery of mental patients that are Flash villains, and those guys take orders from a talking Gorilla.
6Thunderpunch Vs. The Transformers
Thunderpunch was one of the Neo-Knights, a super-team dedicated to the destruction of the Transformers. If you imagine that means they piloted incredible super-bot-scrapping mega-machines, then congratulations! You're way smarter than the Neo-Knights.
Instead, they went toe-to-toe with robots who could honestly step on them without noticing the squishing sound, let alone their array of wildly unsuitable superpowers. But none was worse than Thunderpunch.
He had (slightly) superhuman strength and was a classic case of somebody choosing the exact wrong opponent to nullify his only advantages. Fully half the crime-fighting heroes ever have been variations of the "Punches people really hard" power, but when you're dealing with four-story tall robots that also turn into tanks, it's like a particularly athletic moth launching itself at the sun.
Thunderpunch didn't do himself any favors when designing his uniform either: notice that the only parts of his body he doesn't coat with metal or hard-wearing fabric are the parts he hits robots with.