5Starfox Vs. The Incredible Hulk
In The Incredible Hulk #300, The Hulk hulks out, (as he is wont to do) and starts demolishing New York City. In between servings of giant green fist-to-the-face, the Marvel heroes seem genuinely surprised by this for some reason.
Of all the many, many Banner-beatings handed down that day, surely the most satisfying and spectacularly one-sided is that awarded to a superhero Cracked fans will recognize as one of the six creepiest comic book characters of all-time and comic book fans will recognize as the Avenger most worthy of a beating, Starfox. He adopts the ill-advised tactic of trying to soothe the Hulk using his special talent for projecting waves of erotic pleasure.
We don't have doctorates in sexual trigonometry, but we're fairly sure that if you're going to overwhelm the Hulk with waves of ecstasy, then one meter directly in front of him is the last place you want to be standing. If this slash porno plot hastily reconfigured as a 'plan' had actually worked, Starfox would have died of the most disgustingly soggy chest wound in history.
Luckily Hulk just punches the idiot, and when you have to count being punched by the Hulk as a 'lucky' result, then you may have just enacted the worst idea since, well, the guy who sat down and created Starfox in the first place.
What every Avenger has imagined themselves doing at one time or another.
4Superman Vs. The Puzzler
In over 70 years, the Man Of Steel has chin-checked pretty much everything that someone with a pencil in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other can come up with. But a woman who can be broken apart and reassembled at will? That's not a formidable enemy for Superman, or any man really, unless it's someone with a really specific, and debilitating fetish.
Also, when your super "power" is the ability to break into pieces, you may want to think twice before going up against a guy who can punch people into space or literally blow you apart.
Superman interrupts the most hideously contrived one-liner ever
Super-breath has always been the goofiest of Superman's powers. It's Superman's way of pointing out he doesn't even need to touch you to kick your ass.
Does the Puzzler learn from this simple demonstration? Well, if DC villains had even a hint of pattern recognition, Superman's alter ego would have long ago been identified as that guy with the glasses who always goes into the phone booth right before Superman emerges. Her second attempt is again less than successful, and more than humiliating:
If in the course of your epic superhero battle you ever wind up pinned helplessly under a waste paper basket, you may need to re-evaluate your nemesis competence level and maybe scale back to loitering in front of the mall security guard.