You know how NASA occasionally comes out and announces an asteroid nearly missed Earth? And you can't help but think about the disaster that was averted?
This is like that.
6Dolemite (2001), Starring LL Cool J
If you've seen the original Dolemite, then you know that it's a completely bug-fuck insane mix of classic blaxploitation, bad kung fu, pimping and some kind of bizarre poetry about monkeys, lions and the Titanic.
If you haven't seen the original Dolemite, feel free to go ahead and do that now. We'll wait.
What Went Wrong?
We could go on all day about the immense bitchslap involved in casting particularly-unlikable plank of wood LL Cool J as the Human Fucking Tornado, but that's not the worst that this project had going for it.
No, the worst was that some clever devil at Dimension Films (possibly screenwriter Buddy Johnson of Scary Movie and several episodes of the Wayans Brothers) decided that Dolemite would be a much better character if he wasn't a pimp, and if he was framed for a crime he didn't commit, and if he had three female sidekicks who most definitely were not hookers. Apparently if he really, really sucked.
What Went Right?
Delays. Fallout Entertainment has picked up the rights to Dolemite (though it seems no amount of money would be sufficient to buy them). LL Cool J is no longer attached to the project, and rumors have the infinitely more appropriate Snoop Dogg in the running for the lead.
What You Can Watch Instead:
The Dolemite Explosion.
Despite apparently being the greatest film ever made, The Dolemite Explosion has not yet been released, possibly due to some kind of elaborate evil scheme that can only be stopped with kung fu hookers and magic lightning bolts.