Aggravated Assault: AKA How To Handle A Heckler With Style and Finesse
So you’ve decided you want to drop out of community college and become an “entertainer.” Good for you! Everyone knows that being an entertainer will make you rich, famous, and get you constantly laid, but there’s a downside to this business that not a lot of people know about. Yes, success in the entertainment industry is very easy to achieve, and yes, your place in the history books is all but guaranteed if you want it, but here’s the catch:
At some point you’re going to encounter a heckler, and if you don’t handle it correctly, you may never make it out of Muncie, Indiana. You want to make it out of Muncie, Indiana, don’t you?
Watch the guy in this video, and note how he works the room to handle the situation. First he tells the heckler the whole audience is going to kick his ass. This is an essential step that allies the performer with the crowd, letting the heckler know that everyone is against him. Next, he peppers his crowd-banter with regionally-specific references that the audience will recognize. This makes the crowd like the performer on a personal level; By implying that he is familiar with their geographic area, the performer tricks the crowd into thinking he is somehow like them, when he is in fact a big fancy-pants entertainer who is NOTHING like them at all. (”Is he talking about OUR Cracker Barrel?! I think he is!”)
Finally, the performer jumps off the stage, waves his acoustic guitar menacingly, and splits the heckler’s head open with it. This step might might seem strange to the uninitiated, but the truth is that criminal assault & battery charges are the calling card of the professional entertainer. When the audience member says “Get security,” what he really means is “I want to purchase your merchandise, professional entertainer!” When that other guy yells “That was unnecessary,” he means “Will you sign this cocktail napkin? I don’t know who you are, but based on your awe-inspiring professionalism, I’m almost positive that you will one day be a star.”
April 28th, 2008 at 9:26 am
as a musican i have taken this to heart.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:36 am
I saw the guy at a dating club
__Blackgirlsconnect.com__. He was very hot here.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:37 am
where did the comments go? that was the best part of this post
April 28th, 2008 at 10:36 am
the man looks kind of like my late exboyfreind.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Rofl
April 28th, 2008 at 10:49 am
“That was unnecessary!”
And it was also fucking AWESOME! I hope this guy’s making a million dollars right now.
April 28th, 2008 at 11:04 am
How come every time you move a blog to the front page you get rid of the comments?
April 28th, 2008 at 11:08 am
He’s almost like Anton Newcombe from the Brian Jonestown Massacre, except probably not as interesting or talented.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
“necessary? is it necessary for me to drink my on urine? No, but it’s sterile and I like the taste”
April 28th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
oh and this man is currently on tallmingle.com so if you want to be depressed and beaten in oklahoma then head over there.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
He’s on tallmingle/com? Damn my short stature!
April 28th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
check out the balls on that guy “that was unnecessary” proly the same guy who said “we are african americans!’ to kramer
April 29th, 2008 at 12:29 am
I don’t get heckling. Why would you pay good money to listen to a comedian, and then not listen to the comedian? Sit down, drink your $9.00 beer, and shut the fuck up!!!
April 29th, 2008 at 2:26 am
i know this from wealthykiss dotcom and there are many wealthy women and men are talking about it.
April 29th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
The guy at the very end who shouts, “That was unnecessary!” sounds like Aziz Ansari.
May 1st, 2008 at 4:45 am
I was fully expecting this to be an introduction to the use of German assault rifles.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:18 am
Nice vid,
But why don’t you use a captcha control to stop automated spam like that douchebag who is always pissing dating ads all over your comments pages?
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