Do you want to be a millionaire? It's easy! All you have to do is invent a great product and market the fuck out of it. Do you want to make a fast buck? Then all you have to do is make an absurd accessory for one of those great products, like these guys did!
Tired of normal iPod accessories that could connect to car radios, or make pretty flashing lights? Australian pet stores decided to make something new. Something innovative. Something ... alive.
For only $60, you too can own the iPond, an iPod speaker with a built-in aquarium that hosts a single Betta fish. It's about the size of ... well, about the size of an iPod, and the whole thing shakes the fish in time to the music. We are unable to confirm rumors that the same Australian pet stores started off selling bonsaiKitten accessories.
So what's the problem?
For some reason, the idea of trapping a fish in a chintzy aquarium the size of a deck of cards its whole life, then vibrating it with bad pop songs, has got animal rights activists up in arms. They argue that the tiny enclosure is 15 times too small for the fish, that it doesn't provide sufficient oxygen, and that the risk of suffering through hours of Good Charlotte's "music" is just too high.
Seriously, imagine being trapped in a tiny box, and some asshole makes the walls vibrate along to his music. It's like living the rest of your life in a college dorm room.
In case you've always been too drunk to remember, a breathalyzer is the reason you wake up in jail after a night of heavy partying and erratic driving/neighborhood mailbox reduction. Once only available to law enforcement officials, anyone can now measure their blood alcohol content, at which point they'll drunkenly declare themselves fine to drive despite what it says.
The latest version connects to your iPod and is made available by David Steele Enterprises for only $50. But wait, there's more! This little gadget can also serve as an FM transmitter for your car radio.
So what's the problem?
How anti-social do you have to be to bring your iPod to the bar or a party with you? And how long do you think it'll take before you and your buddies start to use the breathalyzer to judge drinking competitions?
Still, more interesting to us than this product's potential for misuse is its vendor. David Steele seems to actually think that he's the Q to Steve Jobs' James Bond. Most of his website is used to sell hidden cameras and spy phones, but he seems to have been getting into iPod accessories recently. For example, he sells iPod video glasses, which we could probably make fun of if we wanted to, but which actually sound pretty damn cool (at least until the head-splitting migraines set in).