Login or Register

Sign in with Facebook

The FCC can bitch and moan about Fox all they want, but the Home Shopping Network has some of the most vulgar characters and violent programming around.

7
Accidental Middle Finger

ValueVision host Eddy Nelson here decides to give the finger to the camera shortly after tipping over the product that he is trying to sell:

If we are to believe the information on this YouTube video, the rude gesture was not meant for the millions (well, dozens) of customers watching, but rather for the director, who apparently had scolded him for knocking the ring over.

The same guy who Eddy was flipping off also has the power to switch which camera is live, and so it was some quick thinking on his part to put Eddy on live TV while he was in mid-gesture. There is a lesson to be learned here, kids.

How They Tried To Save It:

Apparently by licking his lips a bunch and refusing to look at the camera. The best part about this video is that Eddie is completely aware of how screwed he is from the moment that you hear the crew laugh in the background. His painful expression the entire time is only accented by his blatant attempt to act like nothing is wrong when he asks the lady, "One left in size seven?" As if he is REALLY worried that someone at home isn't going to get their crappy fake gold ring instead of the fact that he's going to be fired as soon as he steps off camera.

Continue Reading Below

6
Ladder Fall #1

Chris, the unfortunate intern who got stuck with the demo job for this product, tries to scale a ladder propped up against a wall. Tragically, he makes a misstep on one of the top rungs and loses his balance, tumbling down into internet history.

Out of all of the accidents on this list, Chris' appears to be the least related to absolute TV personality retardation. It just looks like he tries to resituate himself on a lower step when he takes his plunge. It might also have to do with the fact that the caller completely jinxed Chris when she claimed the ladder was "Awesome!" At least her "Uh oh," when he breaks his spine sounds pretty comforting.

How They Tried To Save It:

There was a real group effort on this one to try and keep QVC from looking too negligent. First of all, the caller, who doesn't know when the hell to shut up, claims, "And THAT has NEVER happed!" once Chris is on the ground. Second, you can hear the crew rushing over and yelling at each other in order to put their lawsuit prevention plan into effect.

Third, we have the confused and possibly mentally challenged female host, who first changes the injured man's name to "Kevin" and then proclaims that he fell off the ladder because the floor is slippery.

Finally she goes ahead and makes the decision that Chris/Kevin is fine because, "He's moving, he is OK." Now we're no medical experts here, but generally we would advise people to have a more extensive examination before they started running marathons again.

Continue Reading Below

5
Katana Slip

A spry young salesman from Shop at Home trusts his own products a little too much. When demonstrating the strength and stability of this katana, he accidentally whacks the table too hard and gets a knife tip in the ribs.

Did we mention that absolutely NO ONE tries to help him in any way? Co-host? Cameraman? Director? What about you Mr. Key Grip? Nope, the man who just stabbed himself has to walk his own ass offstage. They probably made him drive himself to the hospital, too.

If you pay close attention you'll hear the words "practice katana" come out of his mouth about a second before he impales himself. Since the sword apparently explodes upon contact with wood, we're going to suggest that the only thing you're supposed to "practice" is cool, menacing sword poses.

How They Tried To Save It:

By acting like it was all part of the show. No, really. As we previously mentioned, NO ONE helps this guy when he stabs himself, and why is that? Because they're too busy doing their own jobs to give a crap. That's right, the cameraman somehow manages to continue panning across the beautiful knife collection far after it has become clear that a man needs to go to the emergency room. The director also somehow had the presence of mind to keep telling people to switch between cameras during the whole ordeal (as well as flash the credit cards they accept up on screen). Even the guy who steps on camera afterward plays it off as part of the show. His glib, "Right now, we may need emergency surgery in the studio," sound like they are begging to be followed by "that's how goddamn sharp these amazing blades are, ladies and gentlemen!"

Continue Reading Below

4
Battery Fire

Colleen Lopez, apparently distracted by her incredibly valuable poncho demonstration, decides to switch the positive and negative ends of some jumper cables, apparently for the pure hell of it.

This has nothing to do with some tired demonstrator's lack of attention. Colleen CLEARLY looks down at where the red and black ends of the cables are, then, specifically decides to switch them. Sparks fly, then she walks away. What was she thinking? We're guessing something along the lines of, "Oh, yes, they'll all pay. All will be cleansed in the holy fire of my wrath."

How They Tried To Save It:

The host tries his best to carry on his conversation with the idiot on the phone. He even asks the lady, "Well have you ever seen something like this before?" to which she replies, "Yes." That's followed by one of the most awkward silences in home shopping history. It's as if the caller has seen the true point of Colleen's demonstration.

"Yes," she seems to say, in her robotic tone. "I have seem something like this. And now I too know how to get fiery vengeance on my workplace."

Continue Reading Below

3
The Infamous Moth Horse

Apparently, this guy read off the teleprompter that this huge, perfectly clear picture of a moth was actually a horse, thus creating a live TV moment so surreal the viewer begins to doubt their own sanity:

The problem of course is that he keeps on calling it a horse even after he clearly looks at the enormous picture. He keeps on digging himself deeper and deeper into this hole as he starts literally outlining the features of the imaginary horse with his finger.

Go ahead, try and follow his outline to see what he sees. "This is a big horse!" Actually, crazy man, that picture makes it a pretty goddamn small horse. It would be huge if it were of, say, some sort of tiny flying insect.

How He Tried To Save It:

That he so steadfastly stands behind his mistake for so long, instead of admitting he was wrong right away, speaks volumes about this guy's personality. For a while the guy sounds like he'd refuse to back down from his horse ruling even with a gun to his head.

He then tries to look his smartest right after his producer tells him that the picture is of a butterfly by laughing and saying, "Actually, it may in fact, be a moth." Ohhh, Bill Nye over here can tell the difference between a moth and a butterfly! Look, buddy, you already made yourself look like you deserve a helmet indoors, there's no coming back from that.

Continue Reading Below

2
Ladder Fall #2

The male host of this home shopping show was tragically unfamiliar with his product and winds up almost severing his spinal cord because of that fact.

When the host goes up to test the ladder's durability (in a damn fine suit we might add), he mistakenly leaves the ladder in the unlocked position and causes it to collapse on itself, perhaps in fear of his mighty professional attire.

The highlight is when the ladder was obviously about to collapse, and he had a moment where he could have gotten off, but instead he claimed that the ladder had locked itself into place in a moment of denial almost equaling horse/moth guy. It's almost as if he was saying, "no don't worry, when the internet gets invented, I'll be the most famous home shopping co-host of all time! Then those assholes at the cleaners will HAVE to take my headshot!"

How They Tried To Save It:

The female host, who up until this point has been the voice of reason, simply looks down at the male host in one of the greatest "I told you so" moments we've ever seen. Her shallow, "Are you OK?" is only accented by the complete lack of help she tries to offer him in getting up. We're guessing their working relationship was summed up in that moment.

The male host, who by all accounts should have either lost consciousness or at least knocked out most of his teeth, only takes a few seconds to collect himself before he starts talking again. We're sure the sales started to go back through the roof once he reassured the audience by saying, "But, it is very safe to operate."

Continue Reading Below

1
Dude LOVES His Dell

"Randy" (ha,ha we get it) calls up QVC to tell them about secrets that no man's browsing history would ever tell. From the outset, Randy seems way too perfect of a caller, too articulate for the decrepit shut-ins who seem to call in to these shows just because they so desperately crave human interaction. Unfortunately, it all turns sour for the hosts when Randy starts talking about the massive amounts of porno that he watches on his beautiful new Dell.

How They Tried To Save It:

This is probably our favorite part. Instead of doing what many hosts have done before (see the countless prank calls to C-SPAN), this guy tries to play along with the caller.

After Randy tells them how great Dells are for porn, you can hear the male host say, "Awesome," which he quickly tried to qualify with the statement "now ... we don't guarantee that." The crowning achievement of this host's career has to come in the last second of the video where he either makes one of the smartest or most incidental double entendres ever seen on home shopping. "He got his!" WINK WINK. "And obviously he's lovin' it."

Kudos home shopping host man, you have straddled a line very rarely seen by TV personalities of your caliber.

If you enjoyed that, check out our rundown of The 10 Most Disturbing PSA's From Around the World. Also, be sure to check out our latest video which answers the question: what's worse than getting caught watching porn at work once? Or find out why Dan O'Brien is ready to make the beef real with Hannah Montana.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

127 Comments

Load Comments