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Words, Nerds and Turds: The Cracked Round-Up!
See, we've got "Words" because of an article about the evolution of common sayings, and we've got "Turds" because of an article about Larry King and American Idol. As for the nerds, well, you'll just have to read the entire round-up to find out. Mystery! This week, Chris Bucholz makes fun of French cops on Rollerblades, and Gladstone becomes an real author! Meanwhile, Swaim, is Ross, and Ross is Swaim and chaos is everywhere!
Notable Comment: TheMan.com summed up the comments section pretty nicely: "*Insert random jackass contradictary fact pulled from wikipedia here." Thanks, TheMan.com.
Notable Comment: AceJustice says "if this site has taught me anything, its that 'hey baby, wanna fuck on a spaceship to neptune' occasionally works as a pickup line." Glad to see we're really making a difference.
Notable Comment: HannahMontana says "the boyz @ stdmatch.com are soooooo cute!!" Gross.
Notable Comment: Lex, (as in, Friedman) says "You're fired." You'll be missed, Gladstone. (Kind of.)
Notable Comment: CodyCastor says "I'm going to find some people jumping on a trampoline and piss on them. I bet I lose at least a little bit of weight." Whether or not you lose weight, we guarantee that you can sell that concept to FIRM.
Notable Comment: Jcdent says "Thank you, cracked, for yet again showing that it isn't safe to be outside. The sloth part itself nearly killed me as i almost choked on an apple while giggling." That's right. Stay inside. Check out some websites. (Send money to the websites.) Websites like Cracked, for example.
Sexy new theme music and overuse of the word "douchebag?" Sounds like The Week in Douchebaggery! Douche! |
The Bizarre History of 10 Common Sayings
6 Insane Cults (That Would Probably Be A Lot of Fun)
The 5 Most Ill-Advised Dating Sites on the Web
10 Things That Pissed Me Off About CNN The Other Night
Sticks to Stools: 7 Random Objects Sold as Exercise Machines
6 Formerly Kickass Creatures Ruined by Evolution
20 Celebrity-Endorsed Products Too Awesome to Exist
4.10.08:
In Texas everying is bigger, In Iowa everything is just fucking retarded.
by dpduder
Editor's pick:
Pixar was quickly running out of ideas.
by Bell110
4.9.08:
Well come on now, if your countries population exceeds a billion sometimes you have to take drastic measures -- sometimes you have to play pool outdoors.
by london
Editor's pick:
You know what I hate about ribcages? They're a bitch to stack.
by Superhal
4.8.08:
Run, forest, run!
by enigmango
Editor's pick:
Oh, so The Rolling Stones do gather moss.
by Gunho
4.7.08:
Excuse me, does anyone have any baseball cards so I can sound like a motorcycle?
by GoatimusPrime
Editor's pick:
I wonder why no one has noticed my new cane?
by gourmetemu
4.6.08:
A threesome's a threesome
by Sebastian
Editor's pick:
A knock came to the door. Ester froze. The gang members were early and grandma still hadn't coughed up the heroin balloons.
by Fairview
4.5.08:
PULL!
by bunnylefevre
Editor's pick:
A deleted scene from E.T., where E.T. realized he didn't need Eliot and left him high and dry.
by LardLad
4.4.08:
"The good news is we found your kids..."
by Corpsy
Editor's pick:
Ah the old Guatemalan "leave a massive fake snake and drive off with the trucks while your friends take a picture" prank. Classic every time.
by rob329
7 Comments
Note: If you see people on a trampoline, DO NOT piss on them! The weight-loss results are undeniable, but it turns out that wandering into a strangers yard and relieving yourself on a small child is illegal. Damn laws.
Hey, I had a best comment, too! Thanks for doing exactly as I decreed, Cracked staff.
Hey, I had a best comment! Aint that a nice little pat on the nuts.
you can feel sorry for me, I dont care cause im !!.:3rd:.!!
Once again I fail to make the best comment, but there's always next week. MWAHAHAHA
mmm, the caption about texas and iowa seems to be inaccurately credited.
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TrapserCat
I'm sure it was only a measure to prevent spam, but I'm a little disappointed we can no longer arbitrarily leave comments under different names. I would also like to send a big "FUCK YOU" out to whoever stole my other Cracked aliases, "Francis" and "Becky." My "Becky" comments will kick your fake "Becky" comments' asses any day, any time. I'm about to figure out how I can still use my "FYI", "C.B.", and "AllGayAllTheTime" without creating new useless email accounts.