The 5 Most Ill-Advised Dating Sites on the Web

#2. Tallmingle.com

Find It Here:

http://tallmingle.com

In Their Words:

"A place where you could meet new friends and mingle with other tall singles or admirers!"

In Our Words:

"Quit spamming us you lanky bastards!"

How It Works:

Tallmingle.com works like any other dating site, except all of its members are tall. Finally, someone levels the playing field. Now maybe it won't just be short dudes scoring with the ladies for a change.

Why It's a Bad Idea:

On the surface, Tallmingle.com is no better or worse than any other goofy niche dating site. But if you read the comments section of Cracked's daily articles, (and you should because they're often every bit as hilarious as the articles themselves), then you're already familiar with Tallmingle.com and you know where we're going with this.

For those of you unaware, Tallmingle.com is the dating site that insists on dispatching their grammatically challenged spambot to inundate us with bizarrely rambling comments every single time we post a damn article. So what does that have to do with you and your love life? Well before you go to Tallmingle looking for the Ralph Sampson to match your Hakeem Olajuwon, consider this. When you visit a dating site, you would like to think that it's run by people with expertise in the area of attraction, right? Well here is what the folks at Tallmingle.com consider a worthy come on when it comes to getting people to visit their site ...

You don't see Neil Clark Warren pulling stunts like that, do you?


Neil Clark Warren, eHarmony founder, infrequent Cracked comment spammer

#1. STDMatch.net

Find It Here:

http://stdmatch.net

In Their Words:

"Got an STD? Join today, be dating again tomorrow!"

In Our Words:

"Like Match.com with a more honest website address!"

How It Works:

STDMatch works like any other dating site in that everyone has an STD. The only real difference is nobody is lying about it.

Why It's a Bad Idea:

You probably think we're going to say going to STDMatch.net is a bad idea because you could catch an STD. Negatory good buddy, if that was the issue we'd tell you going to the bar is a bad idea. In fact, if you already have a "gift" of your own, STDMatch is probably right for you.

Otherwise, do not, we repeat, do not out of some sense of curiosity go poking around STDMatch.net. Why? Because if any dating site anywhere on the internet has a higher concentration of smoking hot chicks than STDMatch.net, we have yet to find it. Hell, even the dudes are pretty fly.

And then the realization will hit you. Anyone who has been to a regular dating site and pored through the pages and pages of average Janes and Joes and then suddenly stumbled across some drop dead gorgeous type always has the same thought right away ... "Wow, they look great, I wonder what's wrong with them?" After a trip to STDMatch.net, you'll know. You'll never be able to go to another dating site again without saying, "Wow, they're hot, too bad they have genital warts."

And seriously, the ugly folks are few and far between at STDMatch. It's a damn goldmine. It puts that herpes commercial with the "Living the life I want!" jingle into a whole new perspective.


Not an actual STDMatch.net user ... but not far from it.

If you think we're lying, you're welcome to check it out for yourself, but we wouldn't recommend it. If you don't want to shatter the fantasy that the perfect 10 you met on Chemistry.com really isn't too good to be true, just take our word on this one.

Read more from Adam at ScenicAnemia.com.

If you liked that, you'll probably enjoy our look at The 10 Creepiest Craigslist Casual Encounters. If you decided to go ahead and test your resolve at STDMatch.net, you're probably going to eventually laugh knowingly at this spoof ad. Then find out about the crack team of roller blading commandos the French have put in charge of guarding the Olympic torch. This in addition to their primary duties: answering yes when asked if anything is more humiliating than being a bike cop.

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