Presidents, Penises and Everything in Between: The Round-Up!

Every so often, a site comes along that's bold enough to publish articles detailing lies you've been fed your entire life in an effort to undo some of the damage that America's white-washed history textbooks have done. Folks, we are that site.

Also, every so often, a site comes along with nothing better to do than publish articles about where to find the best mail-order bride, or articles that make fun of other cultures for worshiping things that kind of look like dicks.

(That's us, too.)

We're Cracked.com, folks, and we're happy to earn and lose your respect in the same week.

This week, Chris Bucholz has all the dirt on Vogue's new possibly racist LeBron James cover story, Gladstone has an exclusive interview with Oliver Stone, Swaim, worried that Vogue was trying to out-racist him, makes fun of Mexicans and emo kids, and Ross laments the current state of comedy. Also, if you've got spare cash, help get Dan O'Brien out of prison.

LET'S BONE SCIENCE!

The 10 Craziest Scientific Experiments Ever Conducted And we thought working for Cracked was the most you could get paid for sitting around bullshitting. We should've been scientists.

Notable Comment: Prime_pm says "This site is better than Wikipedia. I love it" Hear that, Wikipedia? Did you fucking hear that!? Eat Shit, Wikipedia, you're done.

BUY MY WIFE, PLEASE!

Liberal Guilt Justified: 6 Creepy Mail Order Bride Websites Cracked will be selling Cracked-Brand Husbands beginning in July. Pre-order yours today!

Notable Comment: RockinDave says "HO-LY SHIT. Elena is hands down the hottest girl I've ever seen, on any website, in any film, in real life, or anywhere else. There could be a planet called "HotBabe World" and the women there wouldn't be as attractive." Hey, HotRussianBrides, can we get, like, a finder's fee or something on this one? Pretty sure we just sent a sale your way.

LIES LIES LIES!

The 5 Most Ridiculous Lies You Were Taught in History Class But George Washington was really a cyborg, right?

Notable Comment: AnderX says "*dick joke*" and he nailed it!

THAT SODA MACHINE HAS FEET!

13 Self Defense Items That Probably Won't Help Every member of the Cracked editorial staff owns at least eight household items that are also shotguns. It's a dangerous business.

Notable Comment: Shat says "This stuff would really help my superhero career along. I am the night." Yes, officers, he's armed with a stun gun, probably dressed as a vending machine and he calls himself the night. No problem, happy to help.

RI-DICK-ULOUS!

5 Inspiring Religions That Worship Penises Cracked.com gives you the education your high school teachers were too afraid to give you.

Notable Comment: Firecrotch says "So... many... penises..." So... little... time? Gross.

YOU YOU YOU!

The 25 Most Horribly Ill-Conceived Breakfast Cereal Ideas We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? Check out this week's contest about Celebrity Products Too Awesome to Exist.