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The Top 25 Pieces of Movie Merchandise Too Awesome To Exist

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Between those sad plastic light sabers and the even sadder Vote for Pedro shirts, the movie merchandise industry clearly doesn't try very hard.

We asked you about the merchandise that would exist if only Hollywood had the balls to make it, and offered money to whoever could photoshop the most ball-flatteningly awesome example.

That winner is below, but first the runners-up:


by Sanchez



by chefwit



by codespyder



by College Binary



by Lord Cownostril



by Fairview



by fancytaco



by FoodStampDavis



by Fortey



by Gibbo69



by AnnArrogance



by Bishopwhitet



by AnnArrogance



by Bishopwhitet



by boredatwork



by Krick



by codespyder



by Mella



by Mella



by Pr3



by Rubbin Hood



by Sanchez



by ginchael



by Zaws


And the winner is...


by Sanchez


Congrats, Sanchez. You win money. Again.

Want in on this?

You'll have another chance. This week's Photoshop contest theme is:

Terrible Movie Adaptation Ideas.

You've probably heard that they're making a Monopoly movie, so you'll have to work extra hard to get more ridiculous than a movie based on a board game. We have faith, though. Post your entries in the forums.

If you'd like to see the other entries from this week that didn't make it, see them here. If this is your first time visiting the Photoshop contest, you should probably check out The 40 Most Inappropriate Children's Book Covers. Or, for some pictures that even we couldn't make up, check out The 25 Most Insane Protester Signs You're Likely to See Today.

Got an idea for a future Cracked photoshop contest? Let us know.




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omg! a #1 that actually deserved to win!

Posted on 10/3/2008 5:35:22 PM

gee, star wars, number one, suprise suprise

Posted on 8/26/2008 3:06:48 PM

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åϢṩå֪ʶå󥰲Ʒå󥰱׼ԼåʹõȥåϢ
1Ǣå2ƶý奭åͶŽ륭åͶżƻ3ǩå󥰷ͬåгȫåóг,ѡĥå󥰹ϢåҵѶå󥰼۸顢åչϢ
ҪṩåϢå󥰷񣬰å󥰼۸񼰥å󥰰šإå󥰡`ַ. å󥰡`. ټйʥå󥰡` ŷޥå󥰡` å󥰡`ϺݣṩӢ﷭롣ҹ˾å󥰡`Ϻå󥰡`͹ݥå󥰡`
,811107792@eustar.com

Posted on 3/30/2008 11:34:02 PM

ȸ

йȥ۴ýΪȥ۴˾ȥ۴ȥ۴ҵҵṩȥ۴Ӻȥ۴չ ֣ȥ۴չ ȥ۴ȥ۴ҵȥ۴ ֣Ļý˾Ȥζv̳йվȤζvƽ̨, йվȤζvŻ, ȤζvۼŴȤζvվȫ¹˾廪ѧߴרҵȫ¹繫˾ȫ¹繫˾רҵȫ¹2000ȸ˾ȸ߹˾Ϻȸ߹˾ȸ߹˾,ȸ߹˾ͨȸ˾(ȸ߹˾/Ϻȸ߹˾/ȸ߹˾/ȸ߹˾),ȸ߹˾һרҵȸ߹˾811107792@eustar.com

Posted on 3/22/2008 11:04:03 PM

ע˰ʦ

˼סլ`޹˾³Ϊסլ`ҵ߳ʮסլ`ҵңһסլ`סլ`˾޵ŵëʽסլ`ۣƵסլ`Ʒסլ`סլ`Ļסլ`ԡйסլ`ṩרҵסլ`֪ʶסլ`šסլ`עṫ˾޹˾һҳʮרҵעṫ˾ҵ,עṫ˾ҵΧ,עṫ˾˲, עṫ˾֪ʶעʦ עʦ۸ ֧עʦ ѡעʦ עʦйע˰ʦýΪע˰ʦ˾ע˰ʦע˰ʦҵҵṩע˰ʦ811107792@eustar.com

Posted on 3/22/2008 7:30:43 AM

饤֥å o

ͨ饤֥å˾(饤֥åȹ˾/Ϻ饤֥åȹ˾/ݥ饤֥åȹ˾/ڥ饤֥åȹ˾),饤֥åȹ˾һרҵ饤֥åȹ˾人饤֥å˾,人饤֥å,饤֥å人,饤֥åȹ˾,人ظ饤֥åȹ˾ںʡ人饤֥åȹ˾ҥ饤֥åȾ, Ѻ饤֥åƵ, ;饤֥å, ɥ饤֥å ... йե饤֥å, 饤֥åҵ_ƾ_, ¥饤֥å饤֥åѡ饤֥åͱʵý/չʾ饤֥åҵ/饤֥åȶƽ̨ϥ饤֥å 󥭥չ ֣饤֥å 󥭥չ 饤֥å 󥭥ϥ饤֥å 󥭥ҵ饤֥å 󥭥 ֣Ļý˾ṩϥ饤֥å oϢѯ饤֥å oԤѯ饤֥å oԤ饤֥å oϻ񼰺ϥ饤֥å oϷ߻.811107792@eustar.com

Posted on 3/19/2008 3:50:36 AM

Courtney

Uh, did anyone actually READ WHAT THIS IS? This was a CONTEST. By READERS. The people at cracked did not make these. So stop your crying. Lord.

Posted on 3/6/2008 10:27:31 PM

Rorschach

The 24 energy drink, you can actually buy that. It's not the same design but you can get a 24 energy drink in real life.

Posted on 3/5/2008 5:09:26 AM

Ed Buchet

Wow. You guys read like a fifth rate Something Awful... those guys do photoshops way funnier and more technically accomplished than you do.

Posted on 3/4/2008 11:25:02 PM

JUMBO

Pulse Rifle : FAIL. Sorry, but they don't shoot acid. Wish I wasn't a douche, butit's my fave movie.

Posted on 3/4/2008 3:12:38 PM

rob

goddamn i want one dem life size gummi zombie victims.

Posted on 3/4/2008 9:32:43 AM

I thought the Cool as Ice Douchebag should have won it. Thats what I felt like I needed after watching that crap of a movie.

Posted on 3/4/2008 9:29:08 AM

hypoCritic

that was a very good #1 for a change

Posted on 3/4/2008 6:38:09 AM

Soren

Can't... stop... laughing at #1...

Posted on 3/4/2008 1:19:05 AM

mary760

I found a site with more links and videos at http://www.tvokay.com Enjoy! ;)

Posted on 3/3/2008 10:44:11 PM

caboose

can u say WOW, i like the vaders force choke and the saw recreate your own seen kit

Posted on 3/3/2008 12:17:30 PM

PrettyTasty

The only one that made me really laugh was the buffalo bill sewing kit. The winner was good, but not nearly as original.

Posted on 3/3/2008 4:33:27 AM

Alejandro

awww...i wanted the lord of the rings "pillow stabbing" kit to win.

Posted on 3/2/2008 10:21:53 PM

confused?

is the internet still making these? i thought this kind of s**t stopped in '98...

Posted on 3/2/2008 6:24:32 PM

poopship destroyer

Apparently you never visited mad magazine's website ...

Posted on 3/2/2008 3:01:21 PM

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