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A Cracked Round-up of Craziness!
This week, a general theme of insanity emerged whether we wanted it to or not. It seemed like every time we turned around, one of our dedicated, on-the-scene journalists was reporting on some eBay seller asking for obscene amounts of money for some piece of crap, or some rich person paying obscene amounts of money to drink something that used to be a piece of crap. Here at Cracked, it is our job to point out just who is acting like a lunatic so that you, the reader, can join us in laughing at their questionable antics. Enjoy! This week in blogging, Mike Swaim discovers a rare video from those Anonymous guys that hacked Scientology, Ross Wolinksy does his part for the War on YouTube Porn Spam, and, sadly, celebrated blogger and humanitarian Ian Cooper says goodbye to the sexy and fast-paced world of internet blogging.
Notable Comment: Glise says "I'm the one that bought those particular Playboys, as collector items. I couldn't believe when I read that, what a coincidence. I also collect old books and autographed books." We feel you, buddy. We've been "collecting" Playboys for years now. Fight the good fight, brother!
Notable Comment: Rocky says "What about Michael Bolton? Did a few 80's metal albums before going soft-pop." See, you're missing the point: Bolton should be getting the public to forget about his current career and focus on his material that doesn't immediately highlight what a total wuss he is.
Notable Comment: Mrgator189 says "What about the Larry Holmes Grillmaster Xl? What? We love shameless self-promotion. If you don't like it, go check out some other site.
Notable Comment: DrFreakazoid has his own theory regarding the mysterious four-toed statue and, unfortunately, we guarantee it makes more sense than whatever the writers come up with will: "The producers said to a set designer 'Here's some money. Create the foot of a huge ancient sculpture.' Then when it was done, 'Kee-rist! It's only got four toes! You idiot! You spent all our money on this retarded piece of crap! Sigh. Oh well. Maybe we can work it in as another mystery. The viewers won't know the difference.'"
Notable Comment: PhoenixUltra puts a whole lot of cultural historians out of work by summing up the '60s more succinctly than anyone else ever will: "Man, being a kid in the '60s must have ruled. Kill people with a motherfucking tommy gun, then go home and smoke a cool, refreshing Winston with the Flintstones and make fun of the Chinese after telling your mom to "get back in the kitchen and make me a half-decent cup of coffee this time." Too bad about the asbestos-induced mesothelioma, though - but then, you probably wouldn't care given the lung cancer." And there it was. An entire decade in one, poignant paragraph.
Notable Comment: PBalla says "Damn, why does this website attract so many know-it-alls?" ...Really? You've...Have you seen the Anchorman guys? Or all those people that post "first?"
WINNERS!The Craption Contest!
Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.
1.31.08:
"Hang on Bruce, and let me let me fix your pants we don't want you looking stupid up
here."
Editor's pick:
Anti-fur protesters about to throw red paint slowly lowered their buckets. Somehow this
felt right.
1.30.08:
Obama tried to court the youth vote, while Clinton appealed to mostly old chicks.
Editor's pick:
"Hurry up! We only have about 10 more minutes for our break before we have to get back
to Andy Dick's hallucination."
1.29.08:
"I can't believe you guys forgot your gloves. NEWS FLASH! STORM TROOPERS WEAR GLOVES!
God dammit. Now we look ridiculous."
Editor's pick:
The Boxer Rebellion
1.28.08:
Probably the LAST thing Ted wanted to hear at this point: "That's not mud."
Editor's pick:
"PULL!"
1.27.08:
San Fransisco legalizes cock fighting.
Editor's pick:
How the hell did Cracked get into my hard drive?
1.26.08:
"I would like to move my house to the top of a mountain."
Editor's pick:
Dung Beetles have evolved a little bit too much.
1.25.08:
It was illegal, it was widely regarded as abominable, and it would earn them both a
lifetime of hardship, but dammit, it was love.
Editor's pick:
"This puppet smells strangely...like...chlora...chlor...a ..."
|
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