Take a man. Add eye work (unisex glasses if eye wear is needed)and Botox. Mix in a bad haircut or unfashionably long hair--if possible a dye job. A little doughy-ness doesn't hurt, either. Have a weakness for turtlenecks and by all means fight aging like it's a battle you can win if you try just a little harder, and there you have it: The winning formula to become a man who looks like an old lesbian.
We asked Keith Mays, author of the blog that started a phenomenon and pioneer in the field of men who look like old lesbians, to run down the 25 best examples of this confounding phenomenon and he happily obliged, including a handful of newly discovered men who look like old lesbians.
#25. Chuck Klosterman
A Pop-culture obsessed and farm-raised hipster who writes for GQ and ESPN.
Looks Like:Someone who has penned 14 books on the spiritual nature of the vulva.
#24. Al Franken
He Is:Writer. Possible candidate. Rush Limbaugh tormentor.
Looks Like:The art director of Lands' End catalog.
#23. Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora
They Are:Founding members of Bon Jovi.
They Look Like:They found a career resurgence as Le Tigre.
#22. Robert Redford
Looks Like:The head of Women's Studies at Community College of Denver.
#21. Don Imus
He Is:The Disc jockey and humorist whose comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team in 2007 led to the name "Imus" being mentioned on a college campus for the first time in 35 years.
Looks Like:Someone who has lived with the same woman of color she met while working at San Mateo Y in 1962.
#20. Warren Beatty
Actor. Director. Former BFF of Carly Simon.
The famed foe of Bobby Riggs.
#19. Roger Ebert
He Is:Pulitzer prize-winning columnist and film critic. Screenwriter whose films include Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
Looks Like:A late 1950s feminist who currently designs non-gender specific lingerie and underwear.
#18. Kyle MacLachlan
He Is:Actor known for his work with David Lynch and Elizabeth Berkley.
Looks Like:A manager of a website about two pet dogs.
#17. Masi Oka
He is:Actor. Time Magazine whiz kid. Reported I.Q. of 180 (same as cast of Carpoolers).
Looks Like:An author of a paper stating sex with a man is, by definition, a hate crime.
#16. Mo Rocca
He Is:We're not really sure what he actually does.
Looks Like:A time-traveling lesbian from the future.
#15. John Denver
He Was:Singer. Country boy. Aviator.
Looks Like:The founder of Colorado's first Lesbian Games, a non-competitive Olympics guaranteeing "participation trophies" for all entrants.
#14. Peter Criss
He Is:Musician. Drummer in bottom-feeding glam rock group.
Looks Like:A collector of cat memorabilia.
#13. Lance Burton
He Is:Creepy Las Vegas-based magician.
Looks Like:A K.D. Lang stand in.
#12. Gary LeVox
He Is:Lead singer of Rascal Flatts.
Looks Like:A stage security at the Lilith Fair.
#11. Richard Butler
He Is:The Molly-Ringwald-serenading lead singer of the Psychedelic Furs.
Looks Like:The co-founder of online erotic products store exclusively for lesbians, "Toys for Twats."
#10. Dana Carvey
He Is:Comic. Actor. Drummer. Impersonator of the President Bush with more successful foreign policy. In 1990s, he partnered with fellow SNL alum and man who looks like an old (or middle-aged) lesbian, Mike Myers, in a series of successful films about life in the suburbs.
Looks Like:The runner of a rescue service for emotionally abused cats.
#9. Rick James
He Was:Musician. Famously sampled funk legend. Freak with supposed super abilities. Fan of hair extensions. Troubled individual.
Looks Like:A person who reportedly married lesbian comic who goes by the single name "Margaret."
#8. Simon Le Bon and other members of Duran Duran
They Are:Musicians. Video stars. Inventors of the 1980s. Minstrels for Princess Diana.
They Look Like:Financiers of such lesbian-themed films as The Secret That is My Garden and Rocky V.
#7. Tim Robbins
He Is:Actor. Writer. Tall person. Compulsive do-gooder in a less crazy than Sean Penn way.
Winner of 12 straight division wins as coach of Florida Gators women's volleyball team in the late 1970s and early 80s.
#6. Mike Nichols
He Is:Writer. Director. Comic. Long-time partner to morning news show anchor Diane Sawyer. Directed Angels in America and Catch-22.
Looks Like:Director of four episodes of The L Word.
#5. Morten Anderson
He Is:Football player. Ageless place kicker.
Looks Like:A guard in women's prison.
#4. Mike Myers
He Is:Comic actor. Writer. Scatalogical-minded, sequel-happy entertainer at both Scottish and English accents who, in past films, has pointed out shortcomings in U.K.'s dental hygiene.
Looks Like:An activist, promoting causes of transgender animated characters and company logos.
#3. Ricky Gervais
He Is:Comic. Writer. Actor. Creator of the hugely popular The Office and the somewhat less popular Extras.
Looks Like:Someone who moved to Aleutian Islands with social worker partner and is studying to be a priest in the Anglican Church.
#2. Kim Jong-il
He Is:Leader of North Korea.
Looks Like:A Lea-DeLaria-impersonating soccer mom.
#1. Bruce Jenner
He Is:An old lesbian.
Looks Like:An old lesbian.
In some cases, it has to be just the right photo ...
... In other cases, it is, I admit, a little unfair ... the result of an unfortunate hairstyle or fashion of a certain era ...
... other times, it may be that it's a conscious effort by the person to look androgynous or just plain weird ...
... or it could even be a role the person is playing that I'm unaware of ...
... then there's Bruce Jenner. In photo after photo, pose after pose
... with family ... in a role ... giving a speech ... dressed for a night out at My Sister's Room in Atlanta ... he never fails to deliver ...
Bruce Jenner. A man who truly looks like an old lesbian.
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