The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians
Take a man. Add eye work (unisex glasses if eye wear is needed)and Botox. Mix in a bad haircut or unfashionably long hair--if possible a dye job. A little doughy-ness doesn't hurt, either. Have a weakness for turtlenecks and by all means fight aging like it's a battle you can win if you try just a little harder, and there you have it: The winning formula to become a man who looks like an old lesbian.
We asked Keith Mays, author of the blog that started a phenomenon and pioneer in the field of men who look like old lesbians, to run down the 25 best examples of this confounding phenomenon and he happily obliged, including a handful of newly discovered men who look like old lesbians.
#25.
Chuck Klosterman
He Is:
A Pop-culture obsessed and farm-raised hipster who writes for GQ and ESPN.
Looks Like:
Someone who has penned 14 books on the spiritual nature of the vulva.#24.
Al Franken
He Is:
Writer. Possible candidate. Rush Limbaugh tormentor.Looks Like:
The art director of Lands' End catalog.#23.
Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora
They Are:
Founding members of Bon Jovi.They Look Like:
They found a career resurgence as Le Tigre.#22.
Robert Redford
He Is:
Actor. Director.
Looks Like:
The head of Women's Studies at Community College of Denver.#21.
Don Imus
He Is:
The Disc jockey and humorist whose comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team in 2007 led to the name "Imus" being mentioned on a college campus for the first time in 35 years.Looks Like:
Someone who has lived with the same woman of color she met while working at San Mateo Y in 1962.#20.
Warren Beatty
He Is:
Actor. Director. Former BFF of Carly Simon.
Looks Like:
The famed foe of Bobby Riggs.
#19.
Roger Ebert
He Is:
Pulitzer prize-winning columnist and film critic. Screenwriter whose films include Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.Looks Like:
A late 1950s feminist who currently designs non-gender specific lingerie and underwear.#18.
Kyle MacLachlan
He Is:
Actor known for his work with David Lynch and Elizabeth Berkley.Looks Like:
A manager of a website about two pet dogs.#17.
Masi Oka
He is:
Actor. Time Magazine whiz kid. Reported I.Q. of 180 (same as cast of Carpoolers).Looks Like:
An author of a paper stating sex with a man is, by definition, a hate crime.#16.
Mo Rocca
He Is:
We're not really sure what he actually does.Looks Like:
A time-traveling lesbian from the future.#15.
John Denver
He Was:
Singer. Country boy. Aviator.Looks Like:
The founder of Colorado's first Lesbian Games, a non-competitive Olympics guaranteeing "participation trophies" for all entrants.#14.
Peter Criss
He Is:
Musician. Drummer in bottom-feeding glam rock group.Looks Like:
A collector of cat memorabilia.#13.
Lance Burton
He Is:
Creepy Las Vegas-based magician.Looks Like:
A K.D. Lang stand in.#12.
Gary LeVox
He Is:
Lead singer of Rascal Flatts.Looks Like:
A stage security at the Lilith Fair.#11.
Richard Butler
He Is:
The Molly-Ringwald-serenading lead singer of the Psychedelic Furs.Looks Like:
The co-founder of online erotic products store exclusively for lesbians, "Toys for Twats."#10.
Dana Carvey
He Is:
Comic. Actor. Drummer. Impersonator of the President Bush with more successful foreign policy. In 1990s, he partnered with fellow SNL alum and man who looks like an old (or middle-aged) lesbian, Mike Myers, in a series of successful films about life in the suburbs.Looks Like:
The runner of a rescue service for emotionally abused cats.#9.
Rick James
He Was:
Musician. Famously sampled funk legend. Freak with supposed super abilities. Fan of hair extensions. Troubled individual.Looks Like:
A person who reportedly married lesbian comic who goes by the single name "Margaret."#8.
Simon Le Bon and other members of Duran Duran
They Are:
Musicians. Video stars. Inventors of the 1980s. Minstrels for Princess Diana.They Look Like:
Financiers of such lesbian-themed films as The Secret That is My Garden and Rocky V.#7.
Tim Robbins
He Is:
Actor. Writer. Tall person. Compulsive do-gooder in a less crazy than Sean Penn way.Looks Like:
Winner of 12 straight division wins as coach of Florida Gators women's volleyball team in the late 1970s and early 80s.
#6.
Mike Nichols
He Is:
Writer. Director. Comic. Long-time partner to morning news show anchor Diane Sawyer. Directed Angels in America and Catch-22.Looks Like:
Director of four episodes of The L Word.#5.
Morten Anderson
He Is:
Football player. Ageless place kicker.Looks Like:
A guard in women's prison.#4.
Mike Myers
He Is:
Comic actor. Writer. Scatalogical-minded, sequel-happy entertainer at both Scottish and English accents who, in past films, has pointed out shortcomings in U.K.'s dental hygiene.Looks Like:
An activist, promoting causes of transgender animated characters and company logos.#3.
Ricky Gervais
He Is:
Comic. Writer. Actor. Creator of the hugely popular The Office and the somewhat less popular Extras.Looks Like:
Someone who moved to Aleutian Islands with social worker partner and is studying to be a priest in the Anglican Church.#2.
Kim Jong-il
He Is:
Leader of North Korea.Looks Like:
A Lea-DeLaria-impersonating soccer mom.#1.
Bruce Jenner
He Is:
An old lesbian.Looks Like:
An old lesbian.In some cases, it has to be just the right photo ...
... In other cases, it is, I admit, a little unfair ... the result of an unfortunate hairstyle or fashion of a certain era ...
... other times, it may be that it's a conscious effort by the person to look androgynous or just plain weird ...
... then there's Bruce Jenner. In photo after photo, pose after pose
Bruce Jenner. A man who truly looks like an old lesbian.
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Funny list, I laughed my butt off on the descriptions, but why the hate on Dana Carvey (he's adorable, and ageless! I've had a crush on him for 20 years, and I'm 29 years old), Bon Jovi (jealous much? He's really a babe, and his concerts are amazing!), and Colorado (I'm from New Jersey)? Nice to know Bruce Jenner is and looks like an old lesbian. The pictures to prove it made giggle.
ReplyTHIS WAS SO AWESOME!!!! I cackled out loud at:
Reply#22. Robert Redford ....... Looks Like:
The head of Women's Studies at Community College of Denver.
That is so f*****g specific, it's hilarious
MacLachlan also sports a rather uncanny resemblance to Judith Butler, so there's that.
ReplyAww. I don't think Masi Oka deserved to be on the list. Firstly because he just doesn't look OLD at all, and maybe it's just me, but nothing about him reminds me of those butch/fem guys.
ReplyJustin Bieber will soon qualify for this list.
ReplyToys for Twats. Cracked me the f**k up!
ReplyNumber one has to be Leo DiCaprio although until he was 30 he also looked like a 13 year old girl, as he got older he began to look more dykish
ReplyWhere's Rod Stewart?
ReplyOr Paul McCartney!
Isn't Peter Criss famous for dressing up like a cat?
ReplyJenner's a f*****g burns victim who's undergone multiple facial skin grafts, wearing a wig, right?
ReplyI'm hysterical right now, just thinking about that. Nah, he's just a man who made a lot of bad decisions on reversing the aging process, while someone kept telling him that plastic surgery is a good idea.
Where's Steven Tyler? I love the man, but he looks like an Old Lesbian.
ReplyYes, I avoided the cheap 'Dude-Looks-Like-a-Lady' Joke that we were all thinking.
ew lesbians are gross. except for Bruce Jenner. 4 for you Bruce jenner! You go Bruce Jenner!!
ReplyI am a lesbian and I lol'd so hard.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYes, I did too. Though a small, deranged voice in the back of my head kept insisting that she's insulted at why looking like an old lesbian is such a bad thing.
Who cares?
I do!
He Is:
ReplyMusician. Drummer in bottom-feeding glam rock group.
Looks Like:
A collector of cat memorabilia.
My my, aren't we witty.
ALMOST AS WITTY AS YOU, BRO.
Dude, Roger Ebert looks dead on like my lesbian neighbor on that picture!
ReplyDid anyone else see that picture of Tim Robbins and think of Eric Heideckers character from "The only married news team"?
ReplyI think you mean Tim Heidecker (Eric Wareheim plays the half of the Married News Team who has facial hair). But, yeah, good catch!
Doh! I should known that.
Happy New Year!!~~
ReplyMy friend just met a cutest girl on -- NSArelationships dot c'0m--. It's where for charming woman and handsome man seeking No Strings Attached relationship，safe and private!
It's a nice place for people who wanna find gorgeous intimate encounters....no bounds or extremes in front of true love. XOXO
It's funny because it's true.
ReplyI am a lesbian and I sure as hell never had anyone mistake me for one, although sometimes I want to wear a shirt declaring I am one so guys will not hit on me (and I'm not even claiming attractive guys do it, once in a while I'll get a good looker, but most are not, in my opinion) granted, even telling 99% of them that I am a lesbian isn't enough to get them to stop, then they try even harder to "convert" me saying I never had a real man or a big enough dick. *sigh* men suck.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesare you a lesbian because no attractive men are hitting on you? If that's the reason, then that's like committing suicide because you didn't win the lottery. wait, nevermind.
I don't see how this comment has anything to do with anything, other than to serve as an attention-whoring invitation for requests of pics to prove your hot lipstick-lesbian status. That said, pics plz.
hey hold something, if that's true, then you must be a gay man yourself.
Arguments in favor of mustaches never spoke so loud.
Reply