The 20 Most Bizarre Celebrity Baby Names
#20.
Kal-El
Child Of: Nicolas Cage
Fun Fact No. 1: Nic Cage likes comics.
Fun Fact No. 2: Nic changed his last name from Coppola to Cage in honor of Marvel character Luke Cage.
Fun Fact No. 3: He named his kid Kal-El after Superman.
Fun Fact No. 4: Why didn't he name his kid Luke?
#19.
Pilot Inspektor
Child Of: Jason Lee
Jason Lee is a pretty funny dude. Maybe, you've seen a Kevin Smith movie or the first season of My Name Is Earl. Maybe, sometimes he should stop trying to be so funny, like when he named his kid "Pilot."
Why "Pilot?" Because he heard a song by the band Grandaddy (called "He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot"). If the man had just waited for eight more tracks on the same album he could have named him E. Knievel Interlude which is equally ridiculous, but in a far more awesome way.
#18.
Fifi Trixibelle
Child Of: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates
The Irish singer and songwriter Geldof named his daughter Fifi after his aunt, and his wife was fascinated with the lifestyles of southern belles, hence the last part. But Trixi?
God knows where that came from. Maybe, they just decided to throw in as many dog names as they could.
#17.
Apple
Child Of: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris "You Know How I Know You're Gay? You Like Coldplay" Martin
At first, we assumed the naming process went a little bit like that time Newton invented gravity. You know, he was eating an apple or something. We never paid attention in History. Anyway, Gwyneth explained the name on an episode of Oprah back in August of 2004. Her exact words were:
"Right, well, um, basically it was because when we were first pregnant, her daddy said, if it's, basically one day he just said if it's a girl I think her name should be Apple. And I just, it sounded so sweet, and it conjures such a lovely picture for me, you know apples are so sweet and they're wholesome, and it's biblical and it's just, they're so, and I just thought it sounded so lovely and ..."
Obviously, Gwyneth has no clue why she named her kid Apple, either.
#16.
Coco
Child Of: Courteney Cox and David Arquette
According to Wikipedia, the most trusted source on the Internet, they were originally going to name the baby Courteney Cox Arquette, but this went against David's Jewish traditions, so they named it Coco after a nickname Courteney used to have. Courteney decided this was a good name after she decided she didn't want her daughter to ever get a spot on the Supreme Court.
#15.
Kyd
Child Of: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
We enjoy a whimsical play on words as much as the next website, and the Duchovnys apparently shared a hearty chuckle at the thought of being able to shout, "Hey, kid!" and secretly know it was spelled with a "Y." If you go that direction, why not take it all the way and go with "Phatboi" or "Rhettard?" Both will stay funnier a lot longer than "Kyd."
#14.
Sage Moonblood
Son Of: Sylvester Stallone
OK, we might let this one fly considering Moonblood is Sage's middle name. Plus, this is Sly Stallone, here. Let us take this opportunity to link to that John Rambo trailer yet again. What we're saying is the name probably had to have the word "blood" in it somewhere, and the kid's lucky he didn't wind up with Scream Stabblood.
#13.
Destry
Child Of: Steven Spielberg
Whenever we put this name into Google to find out why anyone would name their baby this, it just brought up the word "Destroy," which actually makes us feel a bit better about it.
Some old-school GI Joe fans have implied that Destry is merely the feminine version of Destro. We'll have to research that, but if true, it comes off here and goes right on the Most Awesome Baby Names list.
#12.
Maddox
Adopted child Of: Angelina Jolie (and Brad Pitt)
Without any research, it's fairly obvious that Jolie named their adopted son after the Internet celebrity Maddox, probably after dismissing Gabe, Tycho and Lowtax.
#11.
Memphis Eve
Child Of: Bono
A pretentious baby name coming from a smug, pretentious man like Bono shouldn't be much of a surprise. The man does call himself Bono, after all. This is also the same person that bought a first-class plane ticket to transport his favorite hat to a concert location.
But really, "Memphis Eve?" Does that even make sense? "One more day until Memphis, kids!"
Well i have a cousin named Chui, and an uncle named Toto, and a brother we call Tito, my aunt we call Weya, my other uncle is Tokis, another uncle we call Paletas...
Replysorry, but coco and maddox are really not that unusual of names. coco is a pretty classic name. and maddox is too. i work in schools. you want to hear some fucked up names, i can give you a whole list.
Replycourvoissier
tequila
bluie
rollseroyce
r'reeyuannhaa
quan'tayjhia'nierre
rocker
starlight
remy martin (no relation to courvoissier or tequila.)
ashole (pronounced ashley, but odds are that kid is going to have some serious bullying issues.)
de'vil (pronounced deville, but who does that to their kid?? his brother's name is damien.)
cadillac
aLexus (would be fine if spelled alexis, but noooo...)
and those are just the ones i remember off the top of my head.
all in all i just wish people would stop naming their kids over things they can't afford and what they were drinking when they got knocked up. celebrity kids are one thing- they're just hollywood brats who will never have to work for a living- but real-world kids are another. what job do people think their kid is going to get with a name that needs two apostrophes just to make sense? is dr. courvoissier going to sound safe? president rollseroyce? attorney quan'tayjhia'nierre? principal r'reeyuanna? it's f*****g ridiculous.
I knew a boy with the middle name Munchkin, and a Quilin Pheonix- Unicorn Pheonix...
ReplyAlso, if I ever manage to have a son I'm calling it Havelock Samuel Mylastname. No arguments.
I knew a guy named Flash Gordon. true story.
ReplyWent to school with a nice girl called Beeanchor. I felt so bad for her with that name. Also went to primary school with a Kortnee
ReplyBeyoncé just popped out a sprog called Blue Ivy
Replymakes me wonder why Manny Pacquiao is not here. He named his daughter Queen Elizabeth...
ReplyI don't see a problem with Maddox. Zahara should take his place.
ReplyI sincerely wish I was making this up, but when I was in high school some of my friends and I worked in the daycare department watching the preschool and elementary kids after school until their parents came and got them. Anyhow, there was a little girl who was in K-3 or K-4 or whatever, and her name was La-a, pronounced "Ladasha." Needless to say, we all wanted to slap her parents.
ReplySeems like everyone knows La-a
I read this article when it was published, and to this day it is one of the funniest and most quotable. Why haven't we seen this writer more?
ReplyOh, in honor of my favorite soda, I can name my kids Sprite and Coke, whatever gender they turn out to be.
ReplyAlso, "Diet" will be the middle name of both...
"Blanket"is pretty perverse. That kid is the one Jackson dangled out of the window covered with a blanket so his fans could "see" him. Maybe that´s whiy the nickname stuck, also because it surely was awkward to call them to dinner as "Princes I and II".
ReplyWhat? No Love for Zowie Bowie (now Duncan Jones)
ReplyWell, at least papa gave him a middle name and a real last name as back-up. ;)
When I heard that Gwyneth Paltrow had named her kid Apple, I thought it was a cool, albeit obscure, reference to the film One Sings, the Other Doesn't, which was a landmark feminist film by Agnes Varda. It's a French film, so it's better known in France, but most feminists in the US over about 35 have seen it. The main character is a singer known as "Apple," (actually, "Pomme"; French, you know) although it's her stage name. Given that Paltrow's mother is an actress about the same age as the actresses in the film, I thought perhaps her mother had introduced her to the film, and the child's name was a statement about women's rights to self-determination.
ReplyThen I heard her on The Daily Show stumble through that explanation about how it was cute, and sweet, haha, and she giggled a little.
That's when it dawned on me that the kid's full name is "Apple Martin," like apple Martini. Way to not see that coming, Ms. Paltrow-- nah, by the time she's in high school, times will have changed, and kids won't get teased for being named after alcoholic drinks.
Jermajesty: That name gave me cancer
ReplyMoxie is a brand of soda that Penn Jillette is a fan of. Also, Penn has stated that he has always felt bad about people named Mike and Bob because they're such common names and easily confused for another Mike or Bob.
ReplyMoxie is also a brand of tampons in Australia
Do they make pads? Maxi Moxie. (In all serious Penn is the s**t regardless)
I lose it every time at "Scream Stabblood"
ReplyI freakin' love the name Sage Moonblood! But best group name is Rocket, Rouge, Reble, and Rihannon.
ReplyWhat about Frances Bean Cobain? Kurt thought that her ultrasound picture looked like a kidney bean, hence the name.
ReplyThat's her middle name, though, so she could choose to drop it. Frances is a perfectly legitimate name, if a bit old fashioned.
My dad knew someone named Harry Wang.
ReplyLol I know a Harry Sack