Unpopular Opinion Podcast: Do Kids Prove We're Doomed? 5 Terrifying Ways Police Can Legally Screw You Over 5 Types of Movie Adaptations That Must Be Stopped

Turn Your Retarded Videos Into Cash With Cracked.com

How would you like to be a famous millionaire?

Well, too bad. You'll need to move to Hollywood, take a series of expensive acting classes, and probably get some elective surgery at some point.

On the other hand, if you'd like to become Internet famous, and make a smaller amount of money, Cracked.com may just be the answer.

Cracked, a humor website that exists mostly as a tax write-off for a large corporation, is already famous for paying random people off the Internet to write articles, which are mostly lists about Batman. But, the eccentric CEO of Cracked (who chooses to live full time in a heavily-armed helicopter "because he can") has demanded that Cracked branch out.

The site had been a disaster, sure, but his desire was to make the site a much bigger disaster (of "orphanage fire proportions" according to a recent memo).

Cracked decided to plunge headlong into 2004 and do with video what it has done with text. Which is, take submissions from crazy people and buy the ones we like. We started taking submissions in late November and within days, nearly 100 videos had been submitted, such as this heartfelt tribute to Hitler:

... And this parody of The Others, only it's about cows so they called it The Udders:

Now, incredibly, Cracked is looking for videos of even higher quality than that.

If that sounds like a challenge, that's because it is.

Are you funny? Have funny friends? Got a camera? Or, maybe just some rudimentary animation skills? Want your video to be seen by tens or hundreds of thousands of people? And, be paid money? And, to have dozens of commenters call you fat? Click here and read the instructions. But be warned, the other submitters have set the standard pretty high.


Attack of the Boob

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