David Blaine Makes America's Brains Disappear!

;p

no s**t. jeez guy, it's Cracked, not friggin LA Times

what the f**k, are you David Blaine's #1 fan or something? Jesus, your comment was longer than the article.

um dude try watching some of david blaine's "magic man" shows. the guy sucked a diamond off a ring on a girl's finger and worked it through his ocular passage and out of his eye. you can see it bulge out of his tear duct. he can do a balducci levitation that looks like he's about 2 feet off the ground. oh and he also chews up wine glasses. on the aquarium episode he goes into a penitentiary and manages to bend the steel bars on a door outwards by about an inch. he fasted for a week before being put into the aquarium. he spent 63 hours inside a block of ice after doctors said there was no possible way anyone could survive that. he spent 44 DAYS in a glass box over the river thames without eating once and lost 25 kilos in weight. oh and he was buried in a plastic coffin for seven days and during the entire time consumed only a few mils of water a day, ate nothing. houdini's own family said houdini couldn't have dnoe anything like it. all copperfield's tricks use sophisticated gimmicks that cost millions of dollars to develop. and yeah he's a total douche whereas david is a really genuine guy who loves interacting with people on the street and laughing with them when they're surprised by his tricks. he pulled himself out of poverty by incredible sleight of hand skills - he bought a bunch of kids $500 of clothes each after one trick because he said it reminded him that the salvation army gave him clothes when he was growing up in poverty.

oh yeah and as for houdini - he could dislocate his shoulders, he trained his ab muscles and diaphragm so that he could flex to a much greater size than normal so the strait jackets he was put in were already very loose by the time he relaxed. and he taped keys and lock picks to the soles of his feet and did all his escapes behind a curtain.