The Howard Stern Show's Artie Lange

Artie Lange, the popular comedian and actor turned Stern sidekick, is eagerly anticipating the show's upcoming jump to Sirius satellite radio. Not only will the move revolutionize morning radio, it will also be the first time in the show's 20-plus year history that it will be heard without the strict indecency standards set by the FCC.

With that, Stern and his cast of morning misfits are free to graphically describe all the things the FCC deem to be indecent. Graphic descriptions of defecation, romps with hookers and other tales of debauchery are all fair game once Stern' "Howard 100" hits the Sirius airwaves on January 9th.

"I'm looking forward to talking like an adult for once and not being censored," Lange said. "A lot of my stories involve shitting and hookers and you need a satellite-type forum to tell them."

On that note, here are the top three stories that Lange is looking forward to telling following their big switch to satellite.

1) "Years ago, I snorted heroin with my friends and I went into the woods to shit. I took my pants down and I shit into my pants without realizing it. I pulled my pants back up, which really defeated the purpose."

2) "I was on my way to [an appearance] on the Conan O' Brien show and I had to take a laxative because I was sick and I kept going into the bathroom to shit. When I was in the middle of the interview, I thought I was going to have to run to the bathroom and take a shit, but thank God that didn't happen."

3) "When I first started doing stand-up, I got booked at a bachelor party in Jersey and I was promised 50 bucks. I was up there trying to do stand-up following a stripper. There were all these big black fake dicks that I had to step over"¦ describing that on the radio wouldn't really work."

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