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The 5 Most Ridiculous March Madness Ads

By Jack O'Brien March 22, 2007 71,875 views
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The NCAA tournament is all about opportunity. For the players, it's one last chance to make a grab for glory before fading into post collegiate obscurity. For the office chatch, it's an excuse to recite meaningless statistics he overheard at Bennigan's the night before. And for the advertising world, it's a weeks-long excuse to bombard basketball fans with insanely out-of-touch commercials that, judging from last weekend's offerings, are produced by 95-year-old schizophrenics. Behold: the five strangest commercials that you are likely to see when you tune into the NCAA Tournament tonight.

1. Michael Jordan and Kevin Bacon Play a Flirtatious Game of One-on-One in Heaven
Plot:

For some reason Michael Jordan and Kevin Bacon are in heaven together.

In heaven people communicate by making funny, sexually playful faces at each other.

The sexual tension is so thick, you can cut it with a knife.

THE END

What Hanes Was Thinking:

"The two best spokesmodels for our latest campaign are probably a poorly aging, vaguely tranny-ish Kevin Bacon, and a poorly aging, slightly bloated Michael Jordan. Getting Jordan makes sense because spectators like to be reminded that the athletes they're watching will one day be unattractive shadows of their former selves, willing to do anything to turn a quick buck. And, of course, getting Kevin Bacon makes sense because"¦ um, we're involved in a high stakes game of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" and need to connect the chick from Footloose to somebody in Space Jam."

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13 Comments

haha... faburobin, that's funny, but only because you pointed out how there are large numbers of bushy haired white people "in the wild". Why did you say that, you're making it too easy here... basically, the suggestion could be made that you think black people with afros live in the jungle. now don't get mad, i'm not saying you do think that, just that you left it so wide open... a claim about a white man with an afro being racist probably shouldn't be countered with "there are wild and uncivilized white people, too, so there!"

8/13/2009 1:02:07 AM
Conformist138

faburobin your comment made me chuckle. You win 5.. uh.. hell i dont have anything :p Keep track, when i find something, ill give it to you!

8/21/2008 4:31:05 AM
Zenigata

Dick Vitale is not dressed as a black man. He is dressed as a basketball player with lots of hair; something he hasn't had in a long long time. Obviously you've never seen a white man with naturally curly hair, but they exist in large numbers in the wild.

3/25/2008 11:06:48 AM
faburobin

i hope its useful to you..
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2/27/2008 10:31:38 PM
sandhu

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2/12/2008 10:44:58 PM
This is good movies and music is vies vies good

I find jokes about us blacks not that offensive and kinda funny.

1/4/2008 4:06:43 PM
Ukari B.

haha! afros and basketball. *sigh* oh black ppl.

11/19/2007 9:02:07 AM
jerome

Awesome!!!s

10/21/2007 1:52:31 PM
gjg

Thanks bro! Real good work!a

10/16/2007 11:08:05 AM
jak

Nice looking site.a

10/16/2007 10:51:32 AM
zack

I like that!k

10/15/2007 12:46:54 PM
fox

Great site!e

10/14/2007 7:59:35 AM
poiu

Thanks a bunch!

10/12/2007 10:07:17 PM
Marilyn

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