A "mystery drama with music" produced by professional angry magician and Wolverine Hugh Jackman about a guy who wants to open a casino but doesn't have any money. It's like someone threw up a premise for a television show.
The Big Bang Theory
In the pilot episode, cosmic gases come closer and closer together...as if they are forming something. What could they be doing? Stay tuned for 21 more episodes to find out!
A large Cuban-American family runs a sugar and rum business in Florida, but it quickly becomes a drug business. In a shocking mid-season power struggle, star Jimmy Smits tries to wrest power from his father by growing a bigger mustache than him, but in a shocking twist, the matriarch of her family seizes control when she reveals the size of her mustache, which fills an entire Olympic-sized swimming pool.
In this reality show, a group of 40 prepubescent kids take up residence in a ghost town with no adults. Things take a sour turn when Piggy, the glasses-wearing fat kid, is crushed by a falling piano. Soon after, everyone starves because no one has a job.
A private investigator...who is also a vampire! If this show succeeds, stay tuned for several similar shows next year, like Werewolf Chef, Frankenstein Nanny and Zombie Magistrate Court Judge.
A mid-season replacement about 1970s era wife-swapping. So it's the premise of any number of porn films without the nudity or graphic sex? Consider me sold!
A cop show set in New Orleans (the "K" stands for "Katrina"). Hard-nosed police officer Scads Kneecap and his partner Charles "Wrinkles" Relish take the city back after years of it being run by rogue weather phenomena. In the pilot, they take down a ring of tornadoes that have been beating up hookers while digging deeper into a low pressure system that's been spreading drugs all over town.
A New York City homicide detective is actually a guy who was granted immortality 360 years ago. So, it's Highlander without the swords or the Reckoning or Sean Connery or basically anything cool. Great.
Back To You
Kelsey Grammer and the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond are a broadcast news team in Pittsburgh...blah blah blah, I'm falling asleep just typing this.
So you're at the breakfast nook, right? And all of the sudden, the red-hot George Foreman grill is flying right at your face! And, what's this? The refrigerator has turned into the ex-girlfriend who dumped you to marry your douche of a brother! Ahhhhh! And then you wake up, and you're all like, "That was fucked up."
The Search for the Next Great American Band
Sorry, TV show, I've already found the next great American band. They're called "Maneaters: A Tribute to Hall and Oates," and they will change the face of rock forever.
This is a reality show about attention-hungry people trying to make it in the country music industry by whoring themselves American Idol-style, but here they're wearing cowboy boots.
The Sarah Connor Chronicles
After destroying the liquid metal Terminator from Terminator 2, Sarah and John Connor move on with their lives, only to find out that the T-800 model has become governor of California. When the T-800 cannot get Democratic state legislators to agree on a state budget plan, a deadlock threatens to shut down important state services and programs! Can Sarah and John kill the legislators to stop the deadlock and save the future?
The Return of Jezebel James
Two estranged sisters move in together when one agrees to carry another's baby. How much do you want to bet they're totally different from one another? And that they'll get into wild disagreements? Man, I can't wait for this breath of fresh air on the airwaves!