This fall, ABC will air a new show featuring the cavemen from those GEICO commercials. For those of you that haven't seen those ads, their premise is basically this:
1) There's these cavemen, see.
2) But they live in the present day.
3) Instead of being primitive and stupid, they're actually quite intelligent and erudite.
4) They get upset and prissy when people think they're primitive and stupid.
If your first thought after reading that is: "That's the stupidest idea for a show I've heard all day," then you're 100 percent correct. (We'd also give full credit for "It can't be any worse than The King of Queens.") But if you read that and thought, "That's the stupidest idea for a show ever," you're actually wrong. There have been at least 13 shows stupider than that one-probably more if we were considering Mexican TV.
We're not, so here for your amusement are the 13 stupidest non-Mexican TV shows.
#13. Automan--ABC (1983-1984)
Automan was a show about a programmer who made a computer program to help him solve the many crimes that plagued his life. What made this computer program so special was that, when fed enough power, it would manifest itself in the real world. It would also be wearing a seatbelt and have immaculate blow-dried hair. Automan is chiefly remembered for being the only show in existence to make Knight Rider look plausible and well thought-out.
#12. Beauty and the Beast--CBS (1987-1990)
You'll probably remember Beauty and the Beast as that early '90s Disney cartoon about the dancing candlestick and the gay clock, and the adventures they had selling merchandise imprinted with images of themselves. But it turns out that wasn't the original Beauty and the Beast at all. The original was a 1987 live-action television show set in modern day New York. It featured a hideous man-beast in a relationship with a beautiful woman while they worked together solving crimes. Memorable story arcs include the time they got in the fight about who used up the last of the conditioner, and the time the Beast got upset after being left alone in the house all day and flung his feces all over the walls and ceiling.
#11. Bosom Buddies--ABC (1980-1982)
Also known as "That show where Tom Hanks dressed up as a woman so he could stay in an ladies-only apartment building." Between this show and Three's Company, it becomes readily apparent that if you were unfortunate enough to be a landlord in the '70s and '80s, your life must have been one neverending maze of deceit and betrayal.
#10. Cover Up--CBS (1984-1985)
Dani Reynolds is a fashion photographer whose life gets turned upside down when she finds out two things:
1) that her undercover CIA agent husband was killed on a secret mission, and
2) that her husband was an undercover CIA agent.
The CIA-evidently being short-staffed that day-decide to offer her husband's old job to her. So she hires Mac Harper, a former green beret (now male model) to travel around the world and help her while they fight international crime.
If you've noticed a common thread here of unusual teams fighting crime, congratulations. You have all the skills necessary to be a producer for a major television network, the most highly paid group of mouth-breathers imaginable.