POLICE TEK 2000 RAPE SHIELD UNDERGARMENTS COMMERCIAL
SEASON 4 As with the Consent Card, just the idea of the Reno Police Department creating and marketing products is enough to crack us up. And with the Rape Shield Undergarment, a remote-controlled heavy-duty chastity belt, they might even inspire the good people at the QVC. Throughout the ad, Clementine's facial expressions are a constant source of hilarity, especially after she asks Dangle, "Are you saying I got raped last night?" But the clip's finest line is probably the duo's twist on an old maxim: "Rape me once, shame on you. Rape me twice, shame on me." Jokes aside, the best part about buying a Rape Shield is the bargain-it pays for itself after two nights of not being raped.
I HOPE YOU GOT A MAGICAL POTION FOR HOT LEAD
SEASON 2 At the scene of a Dungeons & Dragons game gone bad, the offending geek (Patton Oswalt) explains why he unloaded his longbow into his friend's shoulder. It gets more insane when Junior-a closeted D&D expert-agrees with the geek, "Oh, well there's only the three points protection there." The geek continues, "I live in a world of cold steel and dungeons." Garcia agrees, although his dungeon is at the Reno County Jail with its own dragon, Nick the Grip. The geek tries to flee with his "boots of escaping," but Garcia's pumps a "bullet of stopping" into his back.
GARCIA PUTS DOWN A DOG
SEASON 2 Responding to a sobbing man's pleas that his cancer ridden dog is suffering, Deputy Garcia (Carlos Alazraqui) does what appears to be the humane thing, giving the pooch a hilarious, "Hey buddy, how you doing?" before squeezing off a round into it's head Old Yeller-style. The man's plot to get rid of his neighbor's dog is brilliant, as is Garcia's frenzied, deer-in-the-headlights reaction.