5. The Ring Dating Service
Original airdate: 6/26/05
In a nutshell: Man goes to a video dating service, but picks the tape with that creepy girl from The Ring by accident.
References: The Ring, sad losers who use video dating
Why we like it: "I think I just shit out my heart."
4. Optimus Prime Dies of Prostate Cancer
Original airdate: 2/20/05
In a nutshell: On the pilot episode, we're treated to Optimus Prime' horrible discovery: he has prostate cancer. And it is by far one of the darkest sketches known to man.
References: Transformers, Cancer
Why we like it: If you're like us, you'll be busy crying your eyes out. But if we had to choose a single reason, it would be the following exchange:
Optimus: "Now we Transformers don't have organic internal organs and can't get cancer. But you do, and you CAN."
Jazz: "So get yer ass checked out before it' too late, turkeys!"
3. Tooth and Consequences, aka The Darkest Sketch
Original airdate: 3/20/05
In a nutshell: On a quiet, peaceful night, the Tooth Fairy floats through the window of a little girl. Then the girl' parents come home. And then comes the fighting, a gunshot and three endings that get progressively darker.
References: Tooth Fairies, Disneyland, Why Daddy Hits Mommy.
Why we like it: Everyone chant with us: DARKEST SKETCH! DARKEST SKETCH!
2. Morning Wood
Original airdate: 4/30/06
In a nutshell: When you wake up in the morning, what' the first thing that you see? Morning Wood! Look around in your neighborhood. Everybody' got Morning Wood! It' from the makers of "Slow Dance Chubby."
References: Bruce Campbell, slang for erections
Why we like it: "Hello, I'm Bruce Campbell, and I can't start my day without waxing my Morning Wood."
1. Captain Planet!
Original airdate: 3/27/06
In a nutshell: Ted Turner is tired of Pan-Global' sludge dumping. And there' only one man who can stop them-Ted Turner"AS CAPTAIN PLANET!
References: Captain Planet, Ted Turner
Why we like it: Gives us an excuse to run around attacking people and screaming, "CAPTAIN PLANET!"