MILFiest '80s Sitcom Moms
Like beating Castlevania or getting your face kicked in at recess, one of the most influential events in the life of a child of the '80s was seeing one of your friends' moms partially nude. It may have been an accident, or it may have been an "accident," but it happened to all of us sooner or later and left us yearning for more of the same strange, pant-tingling phenomenon. And so, just as with all other unfulfilled desires in life, we turned to the magic picture box for satisfaction. Luckily for us, TV didn't disappoint. (Thanks again, best friend!)

If Kate Tanner didn't object to harboring a fugitive, cat-murdering alien in her home, why would she object to, say, fellating you for five bucks while Willie Tanner's out bowling? Other than the fact that she's borderline smoking hot, Kate Tanner's apparent lack of any moral code-as well as her surprising, motherly tolerance for physical contract with short, hairy mammals-secures her place in '80s sitcom MILF history.

Kevin Arnold's mom gave up both her education and her dreams to follow her college boyfriend across the country and become a stay-at-home mom. And what's more attractive than a woman who'll gladly sacrifice her satisfaction for yours? Of course, that would have been almost entirely negated by her soft weeping during sex.

Aunt Viv was a disciplinarian for two reasons. First, because who else was going to stop Carlton from exposing himself to Ashley? And second, because if she didn't strictly monitor the motion of Uncle Phil's fat-deposit ocean in the bedroom, she would've been crushed to death under his heaving, fleshy car-torso. But beneath Viv's stern exterior lurked a sultry, mature woman, and beneath her mannish face lurked a disproportionately hot body. (Editor's Note: Yes, Fresh Prince started airing in 1990, but how much did things really change in the few months since the '80s officially ended? Plus, there's this.)








Peggy Bundy looks really good if she doesn't move or speak and you can disregard her tacky clothes and makeup. Unfortunately her mannerisms and style are an insult to white trash. Her voice is also unpleasant. Her personality is much, much worse: selfish, deceptive, lazy, mean and with a ridiculous sense of entitlement. Not even in my horniest, most superficial teenage moments would I seriously consider hitting on her.
ReplySensemaker
Seriously??? I'd do my best to f**k her into a coma. There's something about the optical assault that was the '80's that kinda gets me going. Al's problem was he wasn't hitting it right. Had he been laying pipe proper, she'd have learned how to cook. Hell, that's all she wanted was for him to touch her, he wouldn't. She, too, was Married with Children and if he's not going to touch her she might as well not do anything and try to get paid.
I don't ever remember seeing my friends' moms naked...
ReplyClaire Huxtable. Oh yeah...
ReplyKatey Sagal is still smokin'. I hope I look that good at 57.
ReplyWait, What? No Ma Boswell? for shame
ReplyPeggy Bundy???!! Really? I'm sorry, I just don't get it ... I find Katey Sagal more attractive as Turanga Leela on Futurama than I do in real life.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesLeela's not a mother...or is she?
i don't think nibbler counts as a child....but fry and bender probably do
You got fetish for one-eyed girls?
Could someone explain the "ass like an 8 year old boy" joke to me? I know the author stole it from true lies, but I didn't get it even back then.
Replyapparently, 8 year old boys have smooth arses.
that's not as wrong as it sounds..i used to be one, i should know what my arse felt like.
what the...
I don't know if you know this, but most....white(for lack of a better term...albinized maybe??) guys like their women to have no ass. None. So an 8 year old boy's ass is probably a dream come true to them. Sounds pretty gay to me though. Can you say NAMBLA??
Who ever wrote this is seriously f**ked in the head
ReplyIt was all downhill after John Stamos.
ReplyAs soon as I saw uncle Jesse, I spit out my coffee in laughter.
ReplyHottest MILF of the 70's: Marion Cunningham.
ReplyHottest MILF of the 60's: Laura Petry
God damn youtube took down all the links!!!
ReplyOh well still a great read
Turned out that Meredith Baxter's a Vagitarian!!!
ReplyWow, only three of the videos embedded in this article are still available.
ReplyPeggy Bundy is HOT but she would definitly be hotter without the wig shes wearing on the show, but i agree with cyberwolf77, i would LOVE a threeway with peggy and kelly
ReplyA fine list, but I'm shocked you left off "Kate & Allie"! What could be more of a dream come true for a 13-year-old boy than a sexual awakening courtesy of a friend's MILF? How about a three-way with two MILF's?!! Now that's some boner fuel right there!
ReplyAs an added bonus, putting them on the list would've resulted in three separate MILFs named "Kate", which you could have passed off as some weird '80s sitcom phenomenon.
I dreamed of a three-way with peggy and Kelly Bundy.
ReplyPeggy Bundy was definitely my favorite MILF.
Replyomg i LOVE that john stamos is on this list. i've always thought he was too pretty for a man..he must have a vagina.
ReplyI thought so too! LMAO