DEAL OR NO DEAL
Please do not touch Howie Mandel. Just trust us on this one.
Please do not refer to the shady banker who makes you offers while sitting upstairs in a dimly lit office as just "The Banker." He has a name, and he would prefer you use it. It's Shylock Moneygrubbs.
The producers have brought your family on the show for one very good reason: to manipulate you into making bad decisions. Please try to honor their wishes.
It is perfectly acceptable to leer at the models who open the briefcases, and even to make flirty comments to them, but be warned that any attempt to fraternize with them after the show will result in your abdominal cavity being opened like a briefcase, as that is all these young women know how to do.
You may instinctively ask if you can see what's inside a box covered with question marks, but we remind you that this is not the far more entertaining "Let's Make a Deal," and that your chicken costume is well outside our dress recommendations.