The Real Time Men of the Year for 2006

Old Man Peter from YouTube

Who would ve thought that an old British man talking about how he s going to start making videos for YouTube would end up being one of the most viewed clips of the year? Peter, whose username is geriatric1927, has since posted almost 40 videos, none of which are as popular as his first try, appropriately titled  first try. But why? Why have over 2 million people clicked on his video? If you haven t yet, watch it. It s so boring, and so borderline depressing, that it makes the Brian Atene footage seem life-affirming by comparison. But maybe that s exactly it: the ideal Internet celebrity is the jackass who tapes himself doing nothing remarkable, knowing that millions of people will watch anything once it gets a little traffic. Thanks, Time, for finally giving these worthy heroes their due.

To the cool cats who told everyone that Lonelygirl15 was their girlfriend, he ll always been known as grandpa. And since he was born the year the first Man of the Year award was given out, we re going to say he most approximates inaugural Man of the Year Charles Lindbergh.

The People s Court Mustache Guy
It takes a lot of balls to make a mockery of The People s Court. Well, probably not that much balls, but this dude, who we ll call 'Stache, pulled it off with aplomb. Along with Brandon Davis, 'Stache is the only person on this list whose cyberfame can be mainly attributed to one word. His vehicle is a very short clip, which is also a testament to his onscreen poise and timing. 'Stache, we salute you, your mustache and your decision to share it with the world.

Closest forbearer is probably 1983 Time Man of the Year winner, Judge Wapner.

Brandon Davis

His main connection to fame is Paris Hilton, a person whose celebrity status many consider to be flimsy in the first place. So when Brandon s rant against Lindsay Lohan hit the web about seven months ago, the world was puzzled. Does he really hate her? Is he more famous now? Will Lindsay Lohan even give a shit what this rich chach has to say?

The answer was unfortunately yes for all three. And the amazing thing was that most of the hoopla was because he called her a firecrotch, as if it s a novel insult or that he was first person to realize that Lindsay had red pubes. The sad thing is that Brandon probably says the word  firecrotch 20 times in this clip, putting him on level with the dude at your office who still says,  I m Rick James, bitch . Sidenote for history buffs: Brandon is also the guy who claimed that Lindsay s clit is seven feet long, which, when you really think about it, is probably not true.

For his oratorical vigor, B reminds us most of 1940 Time Man of the Year winner Winston Churchill. Congratulations, B.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here


The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!