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Surveys
Banner ads, soul-crushing monstrosities that they are, at least sometimes succeed in their goal of being clicked. This type fails even then. It's looking for people to complete marketing surveys, but only gets the kind who click on banner ads. The sort who can be distracted from what they're doing by the chance to fill out a form! People who need time and a roughwork sheet to answer the question "Is this object shiny?" I don't know why we need information about minimum-wage office monkeys who are prepared to tell even inanimate objects their opinion. Perhaps it's an attempt to learn about brain-damage, or some zoologists who can't afford real chimpanzees to study anymore. It can't be market research, as it's impossible to advertise to these subnormals. Even the briefest slogan can't survive in their goldfish based brains long enough for them to buy the item, nor could they survive the trip to the shops without accidentally trying to eat a knife. This is why cable shopping was invented. The dumbass icing on the stupidity cake is the obvious dig at Bush. Newsflash, wannabe-intellectuals: mocking Bush is about as edgy as a watermelon. It's the modern airline food joke; Seinfeld could do a gag about white guys being unable to dance on a stage entirely filled with chickens crossing roads and be more original than a "Bush is dumb" crack. Here's a hint for all you ploggers (political blogger) out there: I'm going to find whoever invented that word you're called and torture them to death. But until then, another hint: When you can buy pocketbooks and posters based on the subject, maybe it isn't an original theme anymore. |
What about ads that make noises like shrill beeping every few seconds to get your attention?
They're rare, but seriously annoying when you come across them... you know, throw-your-computer-across-the-room type of annoying
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Those damn jiggling ads compel me to view pages in source code. I'd rather wade through HTML than have someone try to get my attention in the most annoying way possible, just so they can try to sell me something for something I don't have. (ex: penis enlargement pills for my vagina x_x)
This is so true! great article :p
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"Jiggling Animation" -- so annoying, ;c
"Win a Free Thing" i hate this! ;c
Haha nice article i think i have been the one millionth visitor to about 36 sites in the past 2 weeks
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After reading this, you might want to board up your windows and load up your shotgun.
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According to the movies, your computer possesses near-magic powers.
You can try answering some of these, but you should probably show up armed.
Let's ruin Disney again!
Also, it doesn't make you smarter.
They really are all out to get you.
digg_url = 'http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackeds-new-years-resolutions/'; digg_title = 'How (Not) To Succeed at 9 Common New Year\’s Resolutions'; digg_bodytext = 'Around the Cracked offices, we ...
What's G-Stone Been Up To? (or Tips For A Great 2009)
Insane Messages We're Actually Sending Into Deep Space
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i agree with Souris, in a way. What about the ads that make noises at you? when you scroll over the "With Sound!" smiley ads, each smiley yells some kind of cliched phrase at you. Or even worse - the scenario where you have your volume turned all the way up to better hear your favorite music and the page you click on has a giant banner ad with a female electronic voice that is somehow much louder than iTunes. this stereotypical computer voice informs you that you have won a free ipod repeatedly until you close the page. now THOSE types should have made this list too!