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The 5 Most Annoying Banner Ads On The Internet

By Luke McKinney April 4, 2007 335,618 views
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Surveys

Banner ads, soul-crushing monstrosities that they are, at least sometimes succeed in their goal of being clicked. This type fails even then. It's looking for people to complete marketing surveys, but only gets the kind who click on banner ads. The sort who can be distracted from what they're doing by the chance to fill out a form! People who need time and a roughwork sheet to answer the question "Is this object shiny?"

I don't know why we need information about minimum-wage office monkeys who are prepared to tell even inanimate objects their opinion. Perhaps it's an attempt to learn about brain-damage, or some zoologists who can't afford real chimpanzees to study anymore. It can't be market research, as it's impossible to advertise to these subnormals. Even the briefest slogan can't survive in their goldfish based brains long enough for them to buy the item, nor could they survive the trip to the shops without accidentally trying to eat a knife. This is why cable shopping was invented.

The dumbass icing on the stupidity cake is the obvious dig at Bush. Newsflash, wannabe-intellectuals: mocking Bush is about as edgy as a watermelon. It's the modern airline food joke; Seinfeld could do a gag about white guys being unable to dance on a stage entirely filled with chickens crossing roads and be more original than a "Bush is dumb" crack. Here's a hint for all you ploggers (political blogger) out there: I'm going to find whoever invented that word you're called and torture them to death. But until then, another hint: When you can buy pocketbooks and posters based on the subject, maybe it isn't an original theme anymore.

any ad that had sound in it. this is especially aggravating if i need to open multiple tabs at once only to frantically search for which page began the screeching and wailing (usually associating with those frighteningly huge smiley things that satan apparently decided would be "fun" to unleash on mankind).

oh, and really awful CG people in a less-than-convincing animation loop that makes it look like they should be walking in circles or just falling over.

oh... and ads that someone decided would be "clever" to make blend right in to the site they're on. you think it's really another "cute little game" on your "cute little game" site and suddenly they want your cell number... and they would like to charge you $9.99/mo for no discernible reason. these are not dangerous for an adult whose IQ > their age, but these things pop up on sites like myspace and other sites with kids. it's just too mean to rip off parents because you managed to make your ad look just like all the other legit features of the parent-approved website some brat is on.

8/12/2009 6:47:53 AM
Conformist138

No I think the worst ad's are those "saving feels good" ads seirously they appeer on almost every site I frequently go on

6/24/2009 9:55:59 AM
Zetar

The worst ads of all time are the ones with those stupid dancing people. I f*****g hate the stupid dancing people!! A little bit of sanity oozes away everytime I see one -_-

3/31/2009 10:49:56 AM
KaeleaMajere

Frickin, farkin, f*****g Party f*****g Poker! Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, ad nauseum. Pun inteded. Hate.

3/21/2009 9:57:13 PM
stressbunny

No, no, no! Most annoying ads of all... Ads with sound! Like the stupid You have won a Nintendo Wii add, that is now on ever damn web page known to man!

1/7/2009 7:41:58 PM
scloutkst2889

i agree with Souris, in a way. What about the ads that make noises at you? when you scroll over the "With Sound!" smiley ads, each smiley yells some kind of cliched phrase at you. Or even worse - the scenario where you have your volume turned all the way up to better hear your favorite music and the page you click on has a giant banner ad with a female electronic voice that is somehow much louder than iTunes. this stereotypical computer voice informs you that you have won a free ipod repeatedly until you close the page. now THOSE types should have made this list too!

10/19/2008 7:52:15 AM
bibliophilica

What about ads that make noises like shrill beeping every few seconds to get your attention?
They're rare, but seriously annoying when you come across them... you know, throw-your-computer-across-the-room type of annoying

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9/23/2008 1:57:49 AM
jasonjones

Those damn jiggling ads compel me to view pages in source code. I'd rather wade through HTML than have someone try to get my attention in the most annoying way possible, just so they can try to sell me something for something I don't have. (ex: penis enlargement pills for my vagina x_x)

9/1/2008 9:37:26 PM
Wren

This is so true! great article :p

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3/31/2008 9:17:20 AM
ӮbͶY

"Jiggling Animation" -- so annoying, ;c

3/28/2008 1:52:56 PM
purple16heaven

"Win a Free Thing" i hate this! ;c

3/28/2008 1:49:37 PM
purple16heaven

Haha nice article i think i have been the one millionth visitor to about 36 sites in the past 2 weeks

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