5 Things Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do

#3. Your Personal and Social Life Can Be Permanently Dismantled By People Who Know Stuff About Computers

Worst Offender: The Net

What Happened:
Hackers are after Sandra Bullock. Using the Internet, they change her identity from successful, established Angela Bennett to Ruth Marx, a prostitute, drug addict and convict. Bullock spends the rest of the film running away from the hackers and the police because the Internet, evidently, infiltrated Bennett' family, her doctors, her neighbors and anyone she' ever gone to school with.

Why It's Ridiculous:
The Net came out in 1995, when lots of people still had never actually seen the Internet (this may include the screenwriter). Since Americans have never met a threat we couldn't grossly exaggerate, we immediately decided the 'net was in control of every single event that transpired on Earth and could fuck it all up with the slightest provocation (for reference, see the Y2K scare).

In Real Life�
The hackers would first go right for her MySpace, filling it with tons of gay porn. Then, upon figuring out that her online banking password was "PASSWORD" they would "steal her identity" in the sense that they would use her credit card to buy tons of anime porn DVDs. The final act of this drama would be Bullock cancelling the card by filling out several forms while sighing in annoyance.

Also, we notice that Sandra Bullock's character is portrayed as a hopeless loner. In the real world, a computer geek who was female and looked like Bullock ...

... would have approximately 375 male "friends" orbiting around her on a daily basis, staring hungrily each time she turned her back and always trying to surreptitiously smell her hair.

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