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Sex-Off! Women of the '70s vs. Today

TODAY: Jessica Simpson
THE '70s: Barbara Bach

Admittedly, Simpson has perhaps the best body on the entire planet besides Las Vegas' Dean Cain. But that's a whole different article that also involves a long talk with mom and dad. Bach, on the other hand, has a noticeably les ample bosom and hair that looks like it hasn't been washed for seven to eight weeks.

That said, the most striking difference is their overall expression. Simpson's body language seems to say, "You come one step closer and I'll throw a shit-fit that concludes with my personal security director, Reginald, shoving half of the General Lee up your pee-hole." Bach's, in contrast, seems to say, "If you show me your penis, I will do literally anything you want me to do to it. And your pal Reginald can join in for an extra 10-spot."

WINNER: THE '70s


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